hank you, Edward!" Alice was jubilant.

I nodded and returned her hug, releasing her quickly because I was on a mission.

Have fun at Bella's. I suppose you won't tell her hi for me, will you?

For the first time since I entered the house this afternoon, my lips twitched up into a smile, completely opposite from my previous grimace. My stomach was doing back flips at the thought of being with her again.

I couldn't stand being away from her any longer.

I dashed through the forest towards her house as if someone was lighting a fire beneath my feet. As I took off I heard faded thoughts from Alice.

I wonder what happened to change the vision? I hope Edward starts letting me hang out with her. Just two more days...She was counting down. Then I saw images of her dressing a blushing Bella up and playing with her hair like she was a doll.

I rolled my eyes, but instantly craved for this to come true.

I was sitting in the rocking chair in Bella's room. Her warm delicious scent was swirling around me and I was sucking it slowly into my lungs with each breath. I was willing myself to stay away from her. A feat much harder than one would realize.

Tonight, she was not sleeping soundly. I watched as she tangled herself into the blankets early on in the evening.

I stood. Realizing I was unable to help her, I sat. The chair was my prison, holding me in my seat. She was the dessert across the table from a kid who had to eat broccoli. The temptation would never go away, yet each second I grew stronger against my will to rush over and hold her. I couldn't allow myself to do something so foolish. It was about her now. What she wants, what she needs. I had to toss my selfishness away as best I could, even though my presence was selfish enough.

She tossed again. I got up once more, my hands reaching out like I could help. My touch was too cold...wrong. I seated myself back into my prison.

I sighed. With the quick intake of air the burning persisted in my dry throat. Each breath brought me pleasure and torture. Mainly torture, though her scent reminded me of how alive she is.

"Edward..." she mumbled in her sleep.

This was not the first time this evening that she murmured my name in her sweet magical voice. Each sound or movement was watched by me as she continued to tangle herself in the sheets.

I couldn't help but worry that she wasn't having a good dream. I was a monster after all.

She woke a few times in the night, startled from her dream - or nightmare - but I was stealthy enough to hide. She never caught me but I wondered what she would think if she did. Would she finally scream? Would she shriek at the sight of the peeping tom that I had become? Would she turn her deep gaze towards me and beg me to leave and never come back?Anguish fell over me at the thought. This must be why I continued to hide every time I saw her eyes flutter.

She tossed again, holding her pillow tightly while a small sigh escaped her lips.

"Edward...mmmmm."

Once again my heart leapt at the sound of my name on her breath.

As the night progressed she settled into a deeper sleep, finally calm and unmoving. In the earlier hours of the morning I saw her shudder and watched as goose bumps arose on her skin.

Without thought I was standing, walking over to her, leaning down, hand out stretched before my mind finally caught up with my actions. Indecision was deep in my thoughts.

Another breath.

More fiery thirst.

I wasn't sure if it was the monster or my protective side, but without thinking I reached out to unravel her blanket to cover her. As I slowly moved the blanket over her I accidently touched her arm. Or was it an accident?

It was if a million little electrodes sent pleasant shocks down my spine. I closed me eyes to take in her aroma.

She was soft...warm.

I quickly held my breath but realized that if I were going to stay with her that I had to overcome my thirst, my ever growing desire to crush her to my body and dig my teeth deep into her neck.

Another breath.

My mouth was instantly full of venom. The monster inside of me was clawing at my chest bones, trying to break free of my body and drink the most delicious blood that ever existed. I grabbed at my chest trying to push the monster back in when suddenly I felt something vibrate. It was my phone.

Alice. I swallowed the pool of venom pouring into my mouth.

Leaping out of her window I answered the phone. I opened my mouth to speak but before I could say hello Alice began pleading in her bell voice.

"Edward! Please!"

My hand automatically met the bridge of my nose. She was my favorite and the most irritating of my family.

She continued without pause.

"I keep getting flashes of you killing Bella! If you kill her I will be very upset. I haven't even had the opportunity to talk to her," her voice was petulant.

I gritted my teeth and breathed in the light morning air around me. The fresh air cleared my head making the monster retreat. How had I let things get out of hand? Why did I have to put my hand in the cookie jar?

"Alice," I breathed.

She interjected.

"Please, just be careful, Edward! Your future has been changing erratically...I never know what is going to happen with you anymore." I could almost hear her pout.

I sighed because she was right. The easy flow of my future had taken a wild spin and even I couldn't tell her what my plans were from day to day anymore.

"I won't hurt her, Alice," I said with chagrin.

"You better not!" It was a command. "I'll see you soon." She hung up the phone.

I groaned. Was I really that close? I didn't think I was. Looking back up at her window I decided it was okay for me to check on her - just one more time - tonight.

Her small chest was moving up and down evenly along with her steady breath. She was still sound asleep. Safe. Her protector kept her free from danger.

But didn't protect her from himself, I growled internally. I was going to have to work on that.

The light of a new day began to peak over the tops of the trees, sending blue tints across the grey clouds that accompanied the sky.

My mind was racing around with what this new day would bring me as I was soaring through the forest at a ferocious velocity back towards home. The questions I would ask her...the responses I would receive. To just dive in and understand her mind, to know what she was thinking.

My thirst instantly became secondary to her knowing mind. My curiosity was aching like a thirst.

Thirst, I thought warily.

I needed to hunt. I needed more blood to help dilute the intense sensations that came over when I was around Bella. I'd do it now, while I was out - one more time - just in case it wasn't true after all, that my ravenous desire to have her was second to her.

I closed my eyes, letting my nose take over.

Deer, I groaned. Ugh.

I still raced towards it and quenched my ever burning throat, letting the warm blood soak into my dry and frozen throat. Gluttonous. That is what I had become. If I shook myself you might even hear the blood slosh around in me.

But, there was no blood that would ease this ache...this hollow yearning. I pushed the animal off of me with disgust and realized my need for a shower and fresh clothes.

When I arrived at home I ran into Rosalie in the garage.

Great, I thought. Exactly what I need.

"You know this is going to cause problems, Edward," she hissed my name.

"Not now, Rosalie." I growled back.

"You are so self-centered, haven't you thought about what this will do to our family?" she bit back at me.

Of course I had thought about it. Wasn't it obvious that it was eating at me, every second of every day? It was only earlier that I admitted my betrayal.

She must be bored - this argument was getting old.

"Rosalie, go jump off a cliff," I snapped back at her, not like that would do much to her; maybe ruffle her hair and clothes - that should piss her off.

I chuckled at my internal thought.

Ignoring her jibes and muttering I continued to walk inside. Everyone else was pointedly ignoring me. It was apparent that they were all acting busy. I saw through the pretense but I was relieved they were leaving me alone.

I was swiftly dressed and back at Bella's before Charlie left, parking my car around the block so it would be out of sight. I raced towards her house, hoping to hear something new today.

Lurking in the shadows outside her house, the feeling of being a stalker came over me again. Was this how I would forever live my life - being a crazy vampire stalker?

Catching the tail end of their conversation I reprimanded myself for letting Rosalie distract me, taking away a considerable amount of my time. My stalking time, I laughed mirthlessly at myself.

Feeling a little belligerence because I failed to get back before her thoughts were being spoken, I listened with more effort....eavesdropping on their conversation more tentatively.

"I'm not going to the dance, Dad." I heard the stubbornness in Bella's tone as I imagined her vulnerable face creasing with anger. Her kitten anger.

I chuckled.

Today seemed to be a mostly silent thought day for Charlie, but the tenor of his mind was still leaking out. Fear raged through him at the possibility that none of the boys liked her at school. What was wrong with his daughter? These thoughts were more pointless than he realized. If only he knew what all the males at school thought about her...

Even worse - what she liked: a vampire.

"Didn't anyone ask you?" Charlie asked, concerned.

"It's a girl's choice." Bella's voice was exultant with smugness.

I could almost hear the triumph in her voice as she realized she won this argument. Once again I imagined her face; her chin jutting out, her lips pursing.

Another chuckle.

Oh, how light my heart felt every second I was around her.

"Oh." Charlie huffed, disappointed.

His thoughts turned a different direction while he contemplated why she didn't like anyone at school.

She did like someone though...me. My heart leapt, my desires raced, my body ached to hold her. Enough, I ordered. Hadn't I gone too far already today?

The clattering of dishes rang out into the yard before Charlie emerged from the house. I watched as he waved, saying goodbye to Bella. I raced towards my car.

As soon as Charlie drove off I was in the driveway waiting for her, anxious that one day she will walk out of the house, see me waiting for her and then will deny me her company.

It pained me to think like this but I was still not completely sure of her feelings. Her hidden thoughts make things more interesting, I sighed, but they also drive me insane.

Bella came out of the house with a slight skip in her step as she turned around to lock the door, leaving the main dead bolt unlocked. I noticed everything about her, even the inconsequential.

As I watched her carefully, I almost exited the car to give her a hand, worried she might fall at her pace but she slowed when she saw the silver Volvo waiting for her in the drive. I felt a quick sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Well, I should remain in the car; she obviously was considering her options at this point.

More pain, my burning desire feared to be extinguished.

She continued her unhurried pace in my direction. What was she thinking? Did she not want to ride with me today?

She stopped with her hand on the door, wavering. Aggravation flooded me in waves I'd never felt before, not at Bella, but the fact that I didn't know what she was thinking. I tried to probe her mind once again, and reached a solid and impermeable wall.

My light mood quickly faded at my new fear.

Her hand reached out to grab the handle. I exhaled heavily at the relief that now flooded me.

Finally, she decided to ride with me, I hoped, considering she was now opening the door. Her head ducked under the roof of the car and I greeted her with a smile while I waited for her scent to assault me.

She finally sat in the passenger seat and shut the door, sending a hot wave of freesia in my direction.

Daggers, white hot knives...burning. I took in a large breath, closing my eyes.

Her scent did exactly what I expected. The warmth of her body and her pulse emitted the loveliest smell and the scent wrapped around me as it scorched down my throat. I opened my eyes to see the particles of air swirling around me that were now doused with her aroma.

My eyes finally met hers.

"Good Morning," I said after swallowing my thirst. "How are you today?"

How was she? What were her dreams about? Did she miss me? There were countless quantities of things I wanted to inquire about. My questions distracted me from my thirst more than anything else.

I suppressed a sigh.

"Good, thank you," she smiled.

Smiling, that was good. I surveyed her face and could tell she didn't sleep well because she had large circles under her eyes. And I stayed in her room all night as she tossed in her sleep, I added mentally. No need to inform her of my nightly visits, though.

Once again I became frustrated because I couldn't hear her knowing mind. What kept her up at night? What made her toss and turn and say my name? It never appeared like she was having a nightmare, or maybe I was just trying to convince myself of this. What else could possibly be making her so restless if not scary monsters that actually exist?Maybe I was just fooling myself.