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Chapter 9
... we all miss Father, especially this time of year. But think how lucky you were to have had eighteen years with him. I remember so little, and I do wish he could have known me, and all that I’ve grown up to be.
—from Eloise Bridgerton to her
brother Viscount Bridgerton,
upon the occasion of the tenth
anniversary of their father’s death
o O o
Eloise was purposefully late for supper that evening. Not by much—it was not in her nature to be tardy, especially since it was a trait she didn’t care to tolerate in others. But after the events of that afternoon, she had no idea if Sir Phillip was even going to show up for supper, and she couldn’t bear the thought of waiting in the drawing room, trying not to twiddle her thumbs as she wondered if she was to dine alone.
At precisely ten minutes past seven, she reckoned she could assume that if he wasn’t waiting for her, he wasn’t joining her, and she could then proceed to the dining room on her own and act as if she’d planned to eat by herself all the while.
But much to her surprise and, if she was honest, her great relief as well, Phillip was standing by the window when she entered the drawing room, elegantly dressed in evening kit that was, if not the very latest in style, obviously well made and tailored to perfection. Eloise noticed that his attire was strictly black and white, and she wondered if he was still in partial mourning for Marina, or if perhaps that was simply his preference. Her brothers rarely wore the peacock colors that were so popular among a certain set of the ton, and Sir Phillip didn’t seem the type, either.
Eloise stood in the doorway for a moment, staring at his profile, wondering if he’d even seen her. And then he turned, murmured her name, and crossed the room.
“I hope you will accept my apologies for this afternoon,” he said, and although his voice was reserved, she could see the entreaty in his eyes, sense that her forgiveness was very much desired.
“No apology is necessary,” she said quickly, and it was the truth, she supposed. How could she know if he should apologize when she didn’t even understand what had transpired?
“It is,” he said haltingly. “I overreacted. I—”
She said nothing, just watched his face as he cleared his throat.
He opened his mouth, but it was several seconds before he said, “Marina nearly drowned in that lake.”
Eloise gasped, not realizing that her hand had flown up to cover her mouth until she felt her fingers on her lips.
“She wasn’t a strong swimmer,” he explained.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “Were you—” How to ask it without appearing morbidly curious? There was no way to avoid it, and she couldn’t help herself; she had to know. “Were you there?”
He nodded grimly. “I pulled her out.”
“How lucky for her,” Eloise murmured. “She must have been terrified.”
Phillip said nothing. He didn’t even nod.
She thought about her father, thought about how helpless she had felt when he’d collapsed to the ground in front of her. Even as a child, she’d been the sort who needed to do things. She’d never been one of life’s observers; she’d always wanted to take action, to fix things, to fix people, even. And the one time it had all truly mattered, she’d been impotent.
“I’m glad you were able to save her,” she murmured. “It would have been horrible for you if you hadn’t.”
He looked at her oddly, and she realized how strange her words had been, so she added, “It’s... very difficult... when someone dies, and you can only watch, and you can’t do anything to stop it.” And then, because the moment seemed to call for it, and she felt oddly connected to this man standing so quiet and stiff in front of her, she said softly, and perhaps a bit mournfully as well, “I know.”
He looked up at her, the question clearly in his eyes.
“My father,” she said simply.
It wasn’t something she shared with many people; in fact, her good friend Penelope was probably the only person outside her immediate family who knew that Eloise had been the sole witness to her father’s strange and untimely death.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured.
“Yes,” she said wistfully. “So am I.”
And then he said the oddest thing. “I didn’t know my children could swim.”
It was so unexpected, such a complete non sequitur, that it was all she could do to blink and say, “I beg your pardon?”
He held out his arm to lead her to the dining room. “I didn’t know they could swim,” he repeated, his voice bleak. “I don’t even know who taught them.”
“Does it matter?” Eloise asked softly.
“It does,” he said bitterly, “because I should have done so.”
It was difficult to look at his face. She couldn’t recall ever seeing a man so pained, and yet in an odd way it warmed her heart. Anyone who cared so much for his children—even if he didn’t quite know how to act around them—well, he had to be a good man. Eloise knew that she tended to see the world in blacks and whites, that she sometimes leapt to judgment because she didn’t stop to analyze the gradations of gray, but of this she was certain.
Sir Phillip Crane was a good man. He might not be perfect, but he was good, and his heart was true.
“Well,” she said briskly, since that was her manner, and she preferred to deal with problems by charging ahead and fixing them rather than stopping to lament, “there’s nothing to be done about it now. They can’t very well unlearn what they already know.”
He stopped, looked at her. “You’re right, of course.” And then, more softly, “But no matter who did the teaching, I should have known they were able.”
Eloise agreed with him, but he was so obviously distressed, a scolding seemed inappropriate, not to mention unfeeling. “You still have time, you know,” she said softly.
“What,” he said, his mocking tone turned upon himself, “to teach them the backstroke so that they might expand their repertoire?”
“Well, yes,” she said, her tone slightly sharp, since she’d never had much patience for self-pity, “but also to learn other things about them. They’re charming children.”
He looked at her dubiously.
She cleared her throat. “They do misbehave on occasion—”
One of his brows shot up.
“Very well, they misbehave quite often, but truly, all they want is a little attention from you.”
“They told you this?”
“Of course not,” she said, smiling at his naïveté. “They’re only eight. They’re not going to say it in so many words. But it’s quite clear to me.”
They reached the dining room, so Eloise took the seat held out for her by a footman. Phillip sat across from her, put his hand on his wineglass, then drew it back. His lips moved, but very slightly, as if he had something to say but wasn’t quite certain how to phrase it. Finally, after Eloise had taken a sip of her own wine, he asked, “Did they enjoy it? Swimming, I mean.”
She smiled. “Very much. You should take them.”
He closed his eyes and held them that way, not for very long, but still, more than a blink. “I don’t think I’d be able,” he said.
She nodded. She knew the power of memories. “Perhaps somewhere else,” she suggested. “Surely there must be another lake nearby. Or even a mere pond.”
He waited for her to pick up her spoon, then dipped his own in his soup. “That’s a fine idea. I think...” He stopped, cleared his throat. “I think I could do that. I shall ponder where we might go.”
There was something so heartbreaking about his expression—the uncertainty, the vulnerability. The awareness that even though he wasn’t sure he was doing the right thing, he was going to try to do it anyway. Eloise felt her heart lurch, skip a beat, even, and she wanted to reach across the table and touch his hand. But of course she couldn’t. Even if the table weren’t a foot longer than the length of her arm, she couldn’t. So in the end, she just smiled and hoped that her manner was reassuring.
Phillip ate a bit of his soup, then dabbed at his mouth with his napkin and said, “I hope that you will join us.”
“Of course,” Eloise said, delighted. “I would be desolate if I weren’t invited.”
“I’m quite certain you overstate,” he said with a wry twist to his lips, “but nonetheless, we would be honored, and to be quite honest, I would be relieved to have you there.” At her curious expression, he added, “The outing is certain to be a successful one with your presence.”
“I’m sure you—”
He stopped her midsentence. “We will all enjoy ourselves much better with your accompaniment,” he said quite emphatically, and Eloise decided to stop arguing and graciously accept the compliment. He was, in all likelihood, correct. He and his children were so unused to spending time together that they would probably benefit from having Eloise along to smooth the way.
Eloise found she didn’t mind the idea one bit. “Perhaps tomorrow,” she suggested, “if the fine weather holds out.”
“I think it will,” Phillip said conversationally. “The air didn’t feel changeable.”
Eloise glanced at him as she sipped her soup, a chicken broth with bits of vegetables that needed a touch more salt. “Do you predict the weather, then?” she asked, quite certain her skepticism showed on her face. She had a cousin who was convinced he could predict the weather, and every time she listened to him, she ended up soaked to the skin or freezing her toes off.
“Not at all,” he replied, “but one can—” He stopped, craned his neck a bit. “What was that?”
“What was what?” Eloise answered, but as the words left her lips, she heard what Phillip must have heard. Argumentative voices, growing louder by the second. Heavy footfall.
A forceful stream of invective was followed by a yelp of terror that could only have come from the butler...
And then Eloise knew.
“Oh, dear God,” she said, her grip on her spoon growing slack until the soup dribbled off, splashing back into her bowl.
“What the devil?” Phillip asked, standing up, obviously preparing to defend his home against invasion.
Except that he had no idea what sort of invaders he was about to face. What sort of annoying, meddlesome, and diabolical invaders he was going to have to meet in, oh, approximately ten seconds.
But Eloise did. And she knew that annoying, meddlesome, and diabolical meant nothing compared to furious, unreasonable, and downright large when it came to Phillip’s imminent safety.
“Eloise?” Phillip asked, his brows shooting up when they both heard someone bellow her name.
She felt the blood drain from her body. Positively felt it, knew it had happened, even though she couldn’t see it pooling about her feet. There was no way she could survive a moment such as this, no way she could make it through without killing someone, preferably someone to whom she was quite closely related.
She stood, her fingers gripping the table. The footsteps (which, to be honest, sounded rather like a rabid horde) grew closer.
“Someone you know?” Phillip asked, quite mildly for someone who was about to face his demise.
She nodded, and somehow managed to eke out the words: “My brothers.”
It occurred to Phillip (as he was pinned up against the wall with two sets of hands around his throat) that Eloise might have given him a bit more warning.
He didn’t need days, although that would have been nice, if still insufficient against the collective strength of four very large, very angry, and, from the looks of them, rather closely related men.
Brothers. He should have considered that. It was probably best to avoid courting a woman with brothers.
Four of them, to be precise.
Four. It was a wonder he wasn’t dead already.
“Anthony!” Eloise shrieked. “Stop!”
Anthony, or at least Phillip presumed he was Anthony—they hadn’t exactly bothered to go through the necessary introductions—tightened his grip on Phillip’s neck.
“Benedict,” Eloise pleaded, turning her attention to the largest of the lot. “Be reasonable.”
The other one—well, the other one squeezing his throat; there were two others, but they were just standing around glowering—loosened his grip slightly to turn around and look at Eloise.
Which was a huge mistake, since, in their haste to rip every limb from his body, none of them had yet looked at her long enough to see that she sported a nasty blackened eye.
Which of course they would think he was responsible for.
Benedict let out an unholy growl and jammed Phillip against the wall so tightly that his feet came off the ground.
Wonderful, Phillip thought. Now I really am going to die. The first squeeze was merely uncomfortable, but this...
“Stop!” Eloise yelled, hurling herself onto Benedict’s back and yanking his hair. Benedict howled as his head jerked backward, but unfortunately Anthony’s strangulatory grip held firm, even as Benedict was forced to let go to fight off Eloise.
Who was, Phillip noted as well as he could, given his lack of oxygen, fighting like a fury crossed with a banshee, crossed with Medusa herself. Her right hand was still pulling out Benedict’s hair, even as her left arm wrapped around his throat, with her forearm lodged quite neatly up under his chin.
“Good Christ,” Benedict cursed, whirling around as he tried to dislodge his sister. “Someone get her off of me!”
Not surprisingly, none of the other Bridgertons rushed to his aid. In fact, the one back against the wall looked rather amused by the whole thing.
Phillip’s vision began to curl and turn black at the edges, but he couldn’t help but admire Eloise’s fortitude. It was a rare woman who knew how to fight to win.
Anthony’s face suddenly appeared very close to his. “Did... you... hit her?” he growled.
As if he could speak, Phillip thought woozily.
“No!” Eloise cried out, momentarily taking her attention off tearing Benedict’s hair out. “Of course he didn’t hit me.”
Anthony looked over at her with a sharp expression as she resumed pummeling Benedict. “There’s no of course about it.”
“It was an accident,” she insisted. “He had nothing to do with it.” And then, when none of her brothers made any indication that they believed her, she added, “Oh, for heaven’s sake. Do you really think that I would defend someone who’d struck me?”
That seemed to do the trick, and Anthony abruptly let go of Phillip, who promptly sagged to the floor, gasping for breath.
Four of them. Had she told him she had four brothers? Surely not. He would never have considered marriage to a woman with four brothers. Only a fool would shackle himself to such a family.
“What did you do to him?” Eloise demanded, jumping off Benedict and hurrying to Phillip’s side.
“What did he do to you?” one of the other brothers demanded. The one who, Phillip realized, had punched him in the chin right before the others had decided to strangle him instead.
She shot him a scathing look. “What are you doing here?”
“Protecting my sister’s honor,” he shot back.
“As if I need protection from you. You’re not even twenty!”
Ah, thought Phillip, he must be the one whose name began with G. George? No, that wasn’t right. Gavin? No...
“I’m twenty-three,” the young one bit off, with all the irritability of a younger sibling.
“And I’m twenty-eight,” she snapped. “I didn’t need your help when you were in nappies, and I don’t need it now.”
Gregory. That’s right. Gregory. She’d said as much in one of her letters. Ah, damn. If he knew that, then he must have known about the flock of brothers. He really had no one to blame but himself.
“He wanted to come along,” said the one in the corner, the only one who hadn’t yet tried to kill Phillip. Phillip decided he liked this one best, especially when he wrapped his hand around Gregory’s forearm to prevent the younger man from launching himself at Eloise.
Which, Phillip thought, feeling rather ironically-minded there on the floor, was nothing more than she deserved. Nappies, indeed.
“Well, you should have stopped him,” Eloise said, oblivious to Phillip’s mental defection. “Do you have any idea how mortifying this is?”
Her brothers stared at her, quite rightly, in Phillip’s opinion, as if she’d gone mad.
“You lost the right,” Anthony bit off, “to feel mortified, embarrassed, chagrined, or in fact any emotion other than blindingly stupid when you ran off without a word.”
Eloise looked a bit mollified but still muttered, “It’s not as if I would listen to anything he has to say.”
“As opposed to us,” the one who had to be Colin murmured, “with whom you are the soul of meekness and obeisance.”
“Oh, for the love of God,” Eloise said under her breath, sounding rather fetchingly unladylike to Phillip’s stinging ears.
Stinging? Had someone boxed his ears? It was difficult to recall. Four-to-one odds against did tend to muddle one’s memory.
“You,” snapped the one Phillip was almost certain was Anthony, with a finger jabbed in Phillip’s direction, “don’t go anywhere.”
As if that were even worth contemplating.
“And you,” Anthony said to Eloise, his voice even deadlier, although Phillip wouldn’t have thought it possible, “what the hell did you think you were doing?”
Eloise tried to sidestep the question with one of her own. “What are you doing here?”
And succeeded, because her brother actually answered her. “Saving you from ruin,” he yelled. “For the love of God, Eloise, do you have any idea how worried we’ve been?”
“And here I’d thought you hadn’t even noticed my departure,” she tried to joke.
“Eloise,” he said, “Mother is beside herself.”
That sobered her in an instant. “Oh, no,” she whispered. “I didn’t think.”
“No, you didn’t,” Anthony replied, his stern tone exactly what one would expect from a man who’d been the head of his family for twenty years. “I ought to take a whip to you.”
Phillip started to intervene, because, really, he couldn’t countenance a whipping, but then Anthony added, “Or at the very least, a muzzle,” and Phillip decided that brother knew sister very well, indeed.
“Where do you think you’re going?” demanded Benedict, and Phillip realized that he must have started to stand before plopping back to his rather impotent position on the floor.
Phillip looked to Eloise. “Perhaps introductions are in order?”
“Oh,” Eloise said, gulping. “Yes, of course. These are my brothers.”
“I’d gathered,” he said, his voice as dry as dust.
She shot him an apologetic look, which, Phillip thought, was really the least she could do after nearly getting him tortured and killed, then turned to her brothers and motioned to each in turn, saying, “Anthony, Benedict, Colin, Gregory. These three,” she added, motioning to A, B, and C, “are my elders. This one”—she waved dismissively at Gregory—“is an infant.”
Gregory looked near ready to throttle her, which suited Phillip just fine, since it deflected the murderous intentions off of him.
And then Eloise finally turned back to Phillip and said to her brothers, “Sir Phillip Crane, but I expect you know that already.”
“You left a letter in your desk,” said Colin.
Eloise closed her eyes in agony. Phillip thought he saw her lips form the words, Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Colin smiled grimly. “You ought to be more careful in the future, should you decide to run off again.”
“I’ll remember that,” Eloise shot back, but she was losing her fire.
“Would now be a good time to stand?” Phillip inquired, directing his question to no one in particular.
“No.”
It was difficult to discern which Bridgerton brother spoke the loudest.
Phillip remained on the floor. He didn’t tend to think himself a coward, and he was, if he did say so himself, quite proficient with his fists, but hell, there were four of them.
Boxer he might be. Suicidal fool he was not.
“How did you get that eye?” Colin asked quietly.
Eloise paused before answering, “It was an accident.”
He considered her words for a moment. “Would you care to expand upon that?”
Eloise swallowed uncomfortably and glanced down at Phillip, which he really wished she wouldn’t do. It only made them (as he was coming to think of the quartet) even more convinced that he was the one responsible for her injury.
A misapprehension that could only lead to his death and dismemberment. They didn’t seem the sorts to allow anyone to lay a hand on their sisters, much less blacken an eye.
“Just tell them the truth, Eloise,” Phillip said wearily.
“It was his children,” she said, wincing on the words. But Phillip didn’t worry. As close as they’d come to strangling him, they didn’t seem the sort to harm innocent children. And certainly Eloise would not have said anything if she’d thought it might place Oliver and Amanda in peril.
“He has children?” Anthony asked, eyeing him with a slightly less derogatory expression.
Anthony, Phillip decided, must be a father as well.
“Two,” Eloise replied. “Twins, actually. A boy and a girl. They’re eight.”
“My felicitations,” Anthony murmured.
“Thank you,” Phillip answered, feeling rather old and weary in that moment. “Sympathies are probably more to the point.”
Anthony looked at him curiously, almost—but not quite—smiling.
“They weren’t especially keen on my presence here,” Eloise said.
“Smart children,” Anthony said.
She shot him a decidedly unamused look. “They set a trip wire,” she said. “Rather like the one Colin”—she turned to spear him with a hostile glare—“set for me in 1804.”
Colin’s lips twisted into a disbelieving expression. “You remember the date?”
“She remembers everything,” Benedict commented.
Eloise turned to glare at him.
Aching throat notwithstanding, Phillip was actually beginning to enjoy the interaction.
Eloise turned back to Anthony, regal as a queen. “I fell,” she said simply.
“On your eye?”
“On my hip, actually, but I didn’t have time to break my fall, and I hit my cheek. I imagine the bruising spread to the eye area.”
Anthony looked down at Phillip with a ferocious expression. “Is she telling the truth?”
Phillip nodded. “On my brother’s grave. The children will own up to it as well, should you feel the need to interrogate them.”
“Of course not,” Anthony said gruffly. “I would never—” He cleared his throat, then ordered, “Stand up.” But he tempered his tone by offering Phillip his hand.
Phillip took it, having already decided that Eloise’s brother would make a far finer ally than enemy. He eyed the four male Bridgertons warily, though, and his stance was defensive. He stood no chance if all four decided to charge at him at once, and he wasn’t convinced that that was not still a likely possibility.
At the end of the day, he was going to find himself either dead or married, and he wasn’t quite prepared to let the Bridgerton brothers take the matter to a vote.
And then, after Anthony silenced his four younger siblings with nothing more than a stare, he turned to Phillip and said, “Perhaps you should tell me what happened.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Phillip saw Eloise open her mouth to interrupt, then close it again, sitting down on a chair with an expression that, if it wasn’t meek, was at least meeker than anything he’d ever expected to see gracing her face.
Phillip decided that he needed to learn how to glare like Anthony Bridgerton. He’d have his children in line in no time.
“I don’t think Eloise will be interrupting us now,” Anthony said mildly. “Please, go on.”
Phillip glanced over at Eloise. She looked about ready to explode. But still, she held her tongue, which seemed a remarkable feat indeed, for one such as her.
Phillip briefly recounted the events that had led to Eloise’s arrival at Romney Hall. He told Anthony about the letters, beginning with Eloise’s letter of condolence, and how they had begun a friendly correspondence, pausing in his story only when Colin shook his head and murmured, “I always wondered what she was writing up in her room.”
When Phillip looked at him quizzically, he held up his hands and added, “Her fingers. They were always ink-stained, and I never knew why.”
Phillip finished his tale, concluding with, “So, as you see, I was looking for a wife. From the tone of her letters, she seemed intelligent and reasonable. My children, as you will come to realize should you remain long enough to meet them, can be rather, er”—he searched for the least unflattering adjective—“rambunctious,” he said, satisfied with his word choice. “I’d been hoping she would be a calming influence on them.”
“Eloise?” Benedict snorted, and Phillip could see from their expressions that the other three brothers agreed with his assessment.
And while Phillip might smile at Benedict’s comment about Eloise remembering everything, and even agree with Anthony about the muzzle, it was becoming apparent that the Bridgerton males did not hold their sister in the regard she deserved. “Your sister,” he said, his voice coming off sharp, “has been a marvelous influence upon my children. You would do well not to disparage her in my presence.”
He’d probably just issued his own death warrant. There were four of them, after all, and it wasn’t in his best interest to be insulting. But even if they had charged halfway across the country to protect Eloise’s virtue, there was no way he was going to stand here and listen to them snort and snuff and make a mockery of her.
Not Eloise. Not in front of him.
But to his great surprise, not a one of them had a retort, and in fact Anthony, who was still clearly the one in charge, held him with a level stare, assessing him as if he were peeling the layers back until he could see what lay hidden in his core.
“We have a great deal to talk about, you and I,” Anthony said quietly.
Phillip nodded. “I expect you will need to speak with your sister as well.”
Eloise shot him a grateful look. He wasn’t surprised. He couldn’t imagine she would take well to being left out of any decisions pertaining to her life. Hell, she wasn’t the sort to take well to being left out of anything.
“Yes,” Anthony said, “I do. In fact, I think we shall conduct our interview first, if you don’t mind.”
As if Phillip was stupid enough to argue with one Bridgerton while three more were glaring at him. “Please use my study,” he offered. “Eloise can show you the way.”
It was the wrong thing to say. None of the brothers cared to be reminded that Eloise had been in residence long enough to know her way around.
Anthony and Eloise left the room without another word, leaving Phillip alone with the remaining Bridgerton brothers.
“Mind if I sit?” Phillip asked, since he suspected he was going to be stuck here in the dining room for some time.
“Go right ahead,” Colin said expansively. Benedict and Gregory just continued to glare. Colin, Phillip noted, didn’t look particularly eager to strike up a friendship, either. He might have been marginally more amiable than his brothers, but his eyes showed a sharp shrewdness that Phillip rather thought he ought not underestimate.
“Please,” Phillip said, motioning to the food still on the table, “eat.”
Benedict and Gregory scowled at him as if he’d offered poison, but Colin sat across from him and plucked a crusty roll off a plate.
“They’re quite good,” Phillip said, even though he’d not had the opportunity to partake that evening.
“Good,” Colin muttered, taking a bite. “I’m famished.”
“How can you think of food?” Gregory said angrily.
“I always think of food,” Colin replied, his eyes searching the table until he located the butter. “What else is there?”
“Your wife,” Benedict drawled.
“Ah, yes, my wife,” Colin said with a nod. He turned to Phillip, leveled a hard stare at him, and said, “Just so that you are aware, I would have rather spent the night with my wife.”
Phillip couldn’t think of a reply that might not hint at insult to the absent Mrs. Bridgerton, so he just nodded and buttered a roll of his own.
Colin took a huge bite, then spoke with his mouth full, the etiquette breach a clear insult to his host. “We’ve only been married a few weeks.”
Phillip raised one of his brows in question.
“Still newlyweds.”
Phillip nodded, since some sort of response seemed to be required.
Colin leaned forward. “I really did not want to leave my wife.”
“I see,” Phillip murmured, since truly, what else could he have said?
“Do you understand what he’s saying?” Gregory demanded.
Colin turned and sent a chilling look at his brother, who was clearly too young to have mastered the fine art of nuance and circumspect speech. Phillip waited until Colin had turned back to the table, offered him a plate of asparagus (which he took), then said, “I gather you miss your wife.”
There was a beat of silence, and then Colin said, after sending one last disdainful glance at his brother, “Indeed.”
Phillip looked over at Benedict, since he was the only one uninvolved in the latest spat.
Big mistake. Benedict was flexing his hands, still looking as if he regretted not strangling him when he had his chance.
Phillip then turned his gaze to Gregory, whose arms were crossed angrily over his chest. His entire body practically quivered with fury, perhaps aimed at Phillip, perhaps at his family, who’d been treating him like a green boy all evening. Phillip’s glance was not met with favor. Gregory’s chin jutted angrily out, his teeth clenched, and—
And Phillip had had enough of that. He looked back to Colin.
Colin was still working on his food, having somehow managed to charm the servants into bringing him a bowl of soup. He’d set down his spoon, though, and was presently examining his other hand, idly flexing each finger in turn, murmuring a word as each pointed out toward Phillip.
“Miss. My. Wife.”
“Bloody hell,” Phillip finally burst out. “If you’re going to break my legs, would you just go ahead and do it now?”