ily had to admit, Nate was right per usual, it did work.

In a way, if you didn’t count Fazire and a variety of other things.

Okay, perhaps a great many other things.

Okay, perhaps it seemed only to be working for Nate and Tash. And Tash was the most important so Lily tried not to worry about it too much.

Although she did worry, just not too much instead of worrying about it twenty-four hours a day, she only worried about it during waking hours which she thought consisted of “not too much”.

After Fazire heard the news that Lily and Nate were getting married and Nate was moving in, there had been a genie explosion that had to rock the Genie Richter Scale at about two hundred and eleven.

“Have you forgotten these last eight years, Lily-child?” Fazire stormed after fifteen minutes of bluster and shouting. He was floating so close to the ceiling he had to tilt his head to the side to accommodate his altitude. All of this was done while Nate was taking Tash out for a treat from The Witches Dozen in order to give Lily time to break the news privately.

“Why does everyone keep going on about the last eight years? I wasn’t alone, I had you and Maxie. We didn’t starve or live out of a cardboard box, for goodness sake!” she exclaimed.

“That is easy for you to say. You didn’t watch you slowly fade away, day in, day out, year after year,” Fazire returned, his dark eyes narrowing angrily.

“What’s that supposed to mean? I took care of Tash and you well enough!” Lily’s own temper was coming to the surface.

Fazire didn’t respond, just floated towards his bottle. “Just mark my words, if it happens to you again, Fazire will not be here to pick up the pieces.”

Shocked and angry, Lily breathed, “Fazire, I can’t believe you just said that.”

Lily was stunned and she truly disliked it when he referred to himself in the third person. Not that he could go anywhere until she had her final wish but the fact that he threatened to go somewhere was shocking, to say the least.

He turned his head away from her in a magnificent genie pout and his body began to vaporise but the words hung in the air.

“I’ve some channelling to do. The other genies are just not going to believe this!”

For the next week Fazire held resolutely to his pout even though it was like Nate wasn’t even there. Nate got up at an ungodly hour every morning, woke Lily (only partially) with a kiss, and went to London. He came home at an ungodly hour every evening, kissed the sleeping Tash (who didn’t wake for anything) and turned the sleeping Lily into his arms.

Lily didn’t know how he could do it, he was running himself ragged.

But he did it, day after day (after day).

Although Nate wasn’t there, all that was Nate definitely was.

Workmen arrived the day after he moved in with the edict to finish the house to Nate’s plans and Lily’s decorating specifications. There wasn’t just one of them or even two but a dozen workmen milling around the house which, according to Fazire, was another black mark against Nate’s name in Fazire’s Book as Fazire rarely left the house and didn’t like company very much.

And then there were the interior designers, three of them, showing her paint chips, fabric swatches, handing her catalogues of a dizzying array of bathroom fittings, furniture, wall coverings and the like. Amongst these she was to choose, to coordinate, to give them her “vision”.

Nate also ordered every item in the house that had a plug and was more than a year old, which was all of them, to be replaced by state-of-the-art, top-of-the line items. He also decreed that any piece of worn out or cheap-appearing (and thus likely to wear out) item in the house, which was most of it, be replaced.

The designers drifted through the house pointing at this sofa. “That has to go.”

And at that bookshelf. “That has to go.”

And the other chair. “That should never have been created in the first place.”

It was part hilarious, part humiliating and part annoying, mostly the last part.

Lily called Nate’s office in London.

“It’s too much too soon,” she told him while watching her living room furniture being carted out the door.

“It’s too little too late,” Nate retorted firmly.

Quite clearly they were in a stalemate. And even more clearly, they were not going to discuss it because they didn’t have time to discuss anything and probably wouldn’t discuss anything even if they had time.

Lily had transferred her financial burdens firmly onto his very strong shoulders mainly because he’d demanded she do it. Seven million pounds in the bank or no, all the bills were immediately switched to be debited from his accounts.

This, for some bizarre reason, he’d commanded she do the very first morning he awoke beside Lily in their new bed. As it was an ungodly hour and she’d been half asleep at the time, she didn’t put up much of a fight and simply told him sleepily where she kept her household files.

“I do not like this,” Fazire said, standing outside the door of a room on the top floor. It used to be a room that held junk. Now three workmen were diligently making it into the bathroom part of a master suite for Lily and Nate that was to make up most of the top floor.

Lily tried cajoling. “When this is done, you’ll only have to share the bathroom with Tash.”

Fazire turned cold eyes to her, unimpressed.

Lily kept trying. “You can have my bedroom when we move out, it’s lovely in there now.”

Fazire’s eyes turned to stone at this reminder of Nate’s grandiosity.

“Fazire, I’m doing this for Tash,” she finally whispered.

His eyes flickered for a moment and then he whispered right back, “I know you, Lily-child. You’ll lose your heart.”

“No I won’t, I promise Fazire. I know exactly what there is to lose and I’m not going through it again,” she replied fervently, so fervently she half-believed it herself but the other half wasn’t so sure anymore.

In just days Nate was demonstrating, in every way, he was intent on taking care of them and exhausting himself and (likely) bankrupting himself in order to do it.

Fazire watched her closely for a moment, nodded, although it was clear to see he was not convinced, likely seeing the stronger other half, and then he floated down the stairs even though she’d asked him not to do any of his genie antics in front of the workmen. Fazire really didn’t like stairs, going up or going down. Luckily the workmen were too busy to notice.

The next week, Nate’s temporary office in Bristol was ready for him and life changed again in the seafront terraced house.

Nate was a force of nature not living in the house. He filled it with his quiet dynamic when he actually spent time there.

Fazire’s genie pout switched immediately to open hostility. If he’d been allowed to do magic, there would have been hell to pay. Instead, he burnt Nate’s toast all week even though Tash’s and Lily’s was perfection, accidentally misplaced Nate’s car keys twice and kept moving Nate’s mobile phone to various deep regions in the house.

This last backfired as Nate would ring his phone with Lily’s mobile and Tash would run around the house trying to find it just like it was a game. Fazire would watch this with an expression that clearly said, “Foiled”.

Tash, on the other hand, moved directly from blossoming under the loving care of the possibility of a complete family unit straight to full, glorious bloom when that family became a reality.

Nate still worked ungodly hours but he was always there for breakfast even getting up first to wake Tash for school, this not only allowed Lily to sleep in but also had the unprecedented bonus of the usually morning-grumpy Tash flying out of bed full of energy and good cheer. And he was always home at the very latest to put Tash to bed.

This he did by laying in it with her, his big body stretched out on her girlie comforter, holding one side of her book while she rested her head on his chest and held the other. In this position he listened to her read.

He could and did, to Tash’s delight, she was a superior reader for her age and liked to show off her skill, do this for hours. They did it even sometimes until after her bedtime which Lily allowed, telling herself they were both making up time.

Lily would watch them surreptitiously, she couldn’t help it. Her daughter was so full of joyful happiness; it was a pleasure to see.

And secretly Lily loved watching Nate with Tash. She’d dreamed of it for years, thinking it would never be a reality. And the reality, for Tash, was better than any dream Lily could create.

As for Lily, Nate’s being home more often meant making up time in an entirely different way.

Just as eight years before, they didn’t share their deepest secrets, hopes, wishes and dreams over romantic dinners or during pillow talk. Just as eight years before, they barely talked at all. But just like eight years before, they made love. A lot. Nate couldn’t seem to get enough of her. This Lily understood because she seemed equally to want him more after every time they’d been together.

However, this time it was different. This time she held herself back or she tried, it was difficult. It was Nate, her wish, her romantic hero come alive (again). This time she enjoyed the beauty of their lovemaking, participated in it, allowed him to teach her new things and take her to new heights but she never let herself go or mostly she didn’t, well, perhaps sometimes she managed to think about trying not to let herself go before she let herself go.

And sometimes, something would happen. Something profound and extraordinary. Something Lily didn’t understand but she desperately wanted to even though she told herself over and over again that she didn’t.

Some door would open to Nate’s heavily-guarded soul, allowing her to catch a glimpse and then it would shut before she got a good look inside. Just like when he’d run his lips across the scar on her belly.

Once, in the heat of the moment, his hand was between her legs making her ache with longing and he was kissing her in a way that caused her to stop breathing and then he’d shifted over her. In a smooth, swift movement, he’d entered her and she so loved to have him inside.

She’d put her hands to either side of his face, lost in the moment of being joined with him. She looked him in the eyes and said exactly what was in her heart.

“You’re so beautiful.”

His whole body stopped, went statue-still and he’d stared at her before saying something strange and heartbreaking.

“Only you see that, Lily.”

It was Lily’s turn to go statue-still but Nate didn’t allow her to stay that way for long. His mouth took hers in a fierce kiss and his hands coaxed her back to squirming underneath him.

After, when he’d tucked her back to his front and buried his face in her hair, she thought about what he’d said.

Lily couldn’t imagine Nate, so confident, so powerful, would think that only she, Lily, saw his beauty. It was plain for everyone to see and everyone looked, mainly women.

At the very least he had to know how Victor and Laura felt about him. And now Tash.

She wanted to talk to him about it, tried to find the words but three things stopped her.

Firstly, Nate himself. Even if she had found the words, he wouldn’t have answered. He wouldn’t open up to her, hadn’t done it before and wouldn’t do it now. Not that Lily had tried but she couldn’t bear the thought of the door being slammed in her face.

She had no idea why he had let her go all those years before. Even though he thought she left him, why he had not come after her looking for answers, for they were his due, no one just ups and leaves for no reason. It was simply not good form.

Lily still found the idea of her ever leaving him utterly ridiculous. But he thought she had and Lily had a strong feeling it had something to do with why he was so closed off, shut down, locked away.

Secondly, she wasn’t sure she wanted to know what was in his soul. After Victor’s dire words, Lily feared it, whatever-it-was. Even though she desperately wanted to know, she also just as desperately did not.

This brought her to the third reason, how she would react if she knew what was behind that guarded door to his heart. Worrying about it meant she cared about him and getting him to open it may mean her needing to open hers. And that she wasn’t sure she could do again even though, if she was honest with herself, she knew that it was happening already. It was, quite simply, Nate.

All of this made her want to shout at him, beg him to speak to her, trust her with whatever it was that was behind that closed door to his soul.

Because if he just told her, if he made the first step then she would know he trusted her. It would be like a gift. Almost like the gift of Tash.

It also made her want to kick him in the shin for being so bloody-minded.

Lily did not shout at him or kick him in the shin as much as she wanted to do both.

Instead, she did the next best thing.

She talked to his mother. She didn’t mean to, but it happened all the same. And it didn’t go very well at all.

The Roberts had decided to come on the weekends. This they decided without much input from Nate or Lily, it was simply just going to happen. This, Lily knew, was in order to see and get to know Tash. But also it was to see Nate. Since they’d adopted him, he’d been a regular fixture in their lives. Without their other two children, they were alone together.

Coming to the second weekend that Nate was in Somerset, he was strangely tense. He always seemed aware, on edge, attuned to everything around him. However that weekend it was magnified and all this seemed entirely centred on Lily.

Nate was now in the occasional habit of holding one of his hands at her hip, his fingers biting into the flesh there as if they wanted to fuse with her skin. But that weekend, anytime she was within touching distance, his hand went to her, his fingers pressing into her. Further, he seemed unable to let her out of his sight, levelling his dark gaze on her as if he wanted to pin her to the spot, as if he expected she’d go up in a puff of smoke at any minute.

“I tell you, Victor is driving me up the wall,” Laura complained, breaking Lily out of her reverie as they walked along the seafront to have coffees and cakes at The Witches Dozen.

Nate and Tash were strolling ahead of the pack, hand-in-hand. This sight gave Lily a sense of contentment which she told herself she felt for Tash.

Victor and Fazire were striding behind Nate and Tash.

There had been serious animosity between Victor and Fazire, even more than Fazire held against Nate but Fazire was beginning to lose his battle against Nate. It was difficult to continue to be hostile against someone who did not react, at all, whatsoever.

However that day, Fazire and Victor seemed to have reached a détente. A détente which was quickly eroding as Victor was trying to convince Fazire to turn his obsessive love of baseball to soccer.

Laura, Maxine and Lily were lagging behind, way behind, and Lily was keeping a close eye on Fazire who, she could tell, was about to blow.

Laura and Lily hadn’t needed words to put their relationship back on track. The Saturday before, when the Roberts came to visit, without a word Lily had put her arms around Laura and Laura immediately burst into sloppy tears. Lily joined her, they’d cried themselves spent in each other’s arms then they’d leaned back, took one look at the other’s face and burst out laughing.

That had been that.

Laura went on with her rant. “He’s supposed to be semi-retired but he’d go into the office every day. Now, with Nate not being there, he doesn’t go. Instead he stays home and asks questions. ‘Laura, where’s such-and-such?’ or ‘Laura, where’s so-and-so?’ And then, ‘Why in bloody hell do you keep it there?’ Even though it’s been there for twenty-five years and he’s never questioned it before.”

Maxine was laughing quietly and Lily was watching closely as Victor was comparing George Best to Ryne Sandberg and Fazire’s face was turning alarmingly purple.

“Then he moves it to where he thinks it’s better suited to be and then I can’t find it and have to ask him. I kid you not; I plotted his murder yesterday while eating a full bag of Malteasers. It’s the perfect murder and I’m pretty sure I could get away with it.”

Maxine stopped chuckling quietly to let out a burst of raucous laughter and Lily smiled as she caught Laura’s hand to give it a reassuring squeeze.

Nate and Tash both looked around at the sound of Maxie’s laughter and Lily transferred her smile to her daughter. Then she swung it to Nate and it faltered.

He didn’t return her smile. He didn’t seem to be enjoying their jaunt during a sunny summer day. Nor did he seem happy that his whole family was together. He seemed wary, guarded, or more guarded than usual, and even poised for action.

What action that would be, Lily could not fathom.

“I think there’s something wrong with Nate,” Lily blurted out and Maxie and Laura turned startled eyes to her at the sound of the concern in her voice on what seemed such a happy day.

She watched as Nate turned away and guided Tash into the coffee shop just as Fazire cried, “Sandberg was an All Star, Golden Glove, MVP. He could do much more than kick a ball with his foot!”

At Fazire’s words, Victor’s face started to turn alarmingly purple.

“What do you mean, Lily?” Laura asked, cutting Lily’s attention away from Fazire’s heated outburst and Victor’s not surprising response.

Lily stopped dead on the pavement and watched Nate and Tash disappear into The Dozen. Laura and Maxie stopped too and Lily turned to them, looking from one woman to the other.

“I don’t know, I can’t describe it. He’s not the most happy-go-lucky person in the world. He’s always on edge in a way. But lately, he seems somehow…” she paused, fighting for words and not finding them, “more on edge.” She finished lamely.

Both Laura and Maxine shifted their gazes to the door of the coffee shop which Victor and Fazire were walking through both men’s arms gesticulating wildly. Then the women’s gazes swung to look at each other. Then they moved to look at Lily.

“Lily,” Laura said, “my son is a rather…” she seemed at a loss for words too and continued, “intense man.”

“You can say that again,” Maxie mumbled.

“I know that.” Lily lifted her hand to pull her hair back from her face and held it at the crown at the back of her head, tugging at it gently in frustration. “I can’t explain it so I’ll demonstrate it.”

Both women nodded encouragingly in perfect synch.

Lily carried on. “Whenever he’s near enough to touch me, he puts his hand at my waist like this…”

Lily dropped her hand and put one on both women’s hips, just like Nate did, her fingers pressing into their skin.

As Lily’s hands dropped away, Maxine said helpfully, “I think, sweetling, Nate is somewhat, er,” her gaze slid to Laura and then back to Lily, “possessive.”

“I know that too!” Lily cried and then continued. “But it’s not that. I swear it’s like he wants to fuse with me. I can’t explain it but it isn’t only that. He’s started to look at me like, I don’t know, like he thinks I’m going to… to… disappear, go up in smoke. Poof!” She exclaimed, lifting both of her hands to the sides of her face and splaying them dramatically with a whoosh.

Laura’s face slowly lit with understanding and Lily pounced on it immediately.

“What?”

Laura looked toward the coffee house and then back at Lily. Her understanding now tinged with something bittersweet and alarmingly sad, making Lily’s heart beat a little faster in hopes of learning something and in fear of what she might learn.

“It’s your anniversary,” she whispered.

“My what?” Lily asked, not expecting to hear that.

However, whatever Laura was talking about also dawned on Maxine.

“Dearie me, that it is,” Maxine breathed and she, too, looked in the direction of The Dozen, her face contemplative.

“What?” Lily exclaimed.

Laura put her hand out to touch Lily’s arm. “My darling, the last time… before…” She broke off and shook her head as if to clear it. Then she closed her eyes for a long moment clearly struggling with herself about something. When she opened them, they were bright and direct. “You disappeared after two weeks.”

Lily stared at her still confused. “And?”

Laura’s hand squeezed Lily’s arm. “And it’s been two weeks,” Laura finished as if that explained everything.

Lily shook her head, still not comprehending and Laura moved closer to her.

“The last time you were together, you disappeared into thin air after two weeks. Nathaniel left home in the morning and you were there. He came back in the evening and you were gone, not a trace of you left, just like you disappeared in a puff of smoke.” She paused as Lily’s eyes widened in understanding. “Now you’ve been back together for two weeks and Nathaniel, well, Nathaniel would know the significance of that. He’d remember it, he remembers everything.”

“But Laura, I didn’t disappear. We…” Lily stopped and bit her lip, then forged ahead. “We don’t have to go into that. But Nate knows that I didn’t go anywhere then and I’m not going anywhere now.”

Maxine chimed in. “The mind plays tricks on us, sweetling. We can know something rationally but not believe it. Trust me, I’m the most irrationally rational person there is, or is that the most rationally irrational?” she asked Laura and Laura gave her a weak smile.

“This is ridiculous, Nate can’t think…” She didn’t finish, couldn’t fathom it. He was there, she was there, Tash was there, the Roberts, even Fazire seemed to be behaving himself, or as close as Fazire could get. Then she started again. “I’m not going to go anywhere.”

Laura cut in. “There are things about Nate you don’t know.”

It was at these words that Lily’s frustration at not knowing about Nate, not understanding why his shields were up, why the impenetrable armour shrouded his heart, broke through like a rocket.

“Yes, you’re right. There is a lot that I don’t know about Nate,” she clipped out in a low, angry voice. “A lot he doesn’t say, a lot he doesn’t share. He didn’t let me in eight years ago and he isn’t letting me in now. And not letting me in before meant that he let me go. Do you know what that means for now? How that makes me feel? Especially now, with Tash? I’m living with a complete stranger!”

“Lily –” Laura interrupted but Lily continued, on a roll and it was difficult stopping one of Lily’s rolls.

“He didn’t trust me then and he doesn’t trust me now and I’m telling you, I’m sick of it. I can’t ask, because he won’t tell me. I can’t –”

“Lily –” It was Maxine this time but Lily was not to be stopped.

“It’s like… like, he’s encased in ice and a suit of steel. I can’t reach him. Even if I were to try to pick away at it, take a blow torch to it, somehow he’s just… simply… removed.”

Laura moved in closer, grabbed both of Lily’s arms and gave her a bit of a shake.

“Lily, quiet!” she whispered urgently. “You’re making a scene and they may come out.”

“I don’t care!” Lily quite liked the idea of a scene. Maybe if she made a scene she might get somewhere.

Laura shook her head again and started to look panicked.

Then Lily grabbed hold of Laura the same way Laura was holding her. “You have to tell me, Laura. If you know what it is, what’s behind that door that Nate has so firmly closed, you have to tell me.”

Laura shook her head, her panic turning strangely to fear.

“Please, you must,” Lily begged.

“I can’t. It’s not my place. He’d never forgive me. He hides it. He puts so much effort into hiding it, like it was wrong, like it was dirty. Yet he seems somehow… proud of it. But he’d never forgive me if I told you, never. And, Lily, I couldn’t bear to lose him, he’s the only child I have left.”

There it was again, “wrong” Laura said, “dirty”. And Victor had said “Nathaniel suffered”. All these ominous words that described him and Lily, who he was supposed to be marrying, spending the rest of his life with, who was the mother of his child, didn’t seem to have the right to know.

She’d had enough of the secrets, hints, hedging and silence, she was sick to death of it. Whatever it was caused her to lose him eight years ago and it was pulling her firmly away from him now. Or, more to the point, keeping her distant.

Nate, she instantly decided, wasn’t the only one who could close down. Two could play that game.

Lily abruptly let go of Laura and turned back the way they came. “I’m going back to the house.”

“No!” Laura and Maxine exclaimed at the same time. “You can’t go back. You have to stay with him. If you go back he’ll be worried,” Laura went on.

“Let him be worried,” Lily flared. “At least that will mean he feels something.”

Laura’s face changed again, this time to motherly disappointment. “Lily, you know that’s not fair. You know that Nathaniel feels everything, especially for you.”

“No, Laura, I don’t know that. If he did, he’d trust me with whatever this horrible secret is.” Laura closed her eyes in despair and Lily didn’t wait for her to open them again. “Just tell them I have a headache and that I went back.”

Without waiting for a response, she turned and practically ran back to the house (as much as she could run in flip flops).

Once Lily arrived home, she halted in the entryway and looked around.

She didn’t know what to do. She had nothing to do anymore. No chores, no errands, nothing. And that made her frayed temper completely disintegrate.

The master bed chamber, as Fazire sarcastically anointed it, that Nate had commanded wasn’t due to be finished until the next week.

Her office, the only other room upstairs now due to the enormity of the master suite, the living room had been moved to the garden level, that Nate had ordered her to decorate wasn’t finished yet either.

Nate had hired a housekeeper who came in once a week and cleaned and did the laundry and the ironing too, which made Fazire none-too-happy. “What next?” he’d demanded to know. “A chef so I won’t be able to cook either?”

Nate paid the bills. Nate had groceries delivered. His secretary set up an account on the Internet with Waitrose, no less, and all Lily had to do was click on her choices and voila! they arrived the next day.

She was, quite simply, overwhelmed by him. He was everywhere, taking control of everything. Or taking care of everyone.

Except he wasn’t there at all.

“Lily?”

It was Nate’s voice and she swung around and glared at him, automatically determined to make some headway, penetrate his shields, get some reaction from him, any reaction.

He was standing in the inner doorway, the hall was shadowy, the sunlight was coming in behind him and she couldn’t see his face.

“You!” she yelled nonsensically.

He started to move forward, the powerful masculine grace of his movement, and Lily’s admiration of it, somehow grating on her nerves and he ignored her bizarre outburst.

“Laura said you had a headache. Is it a migraine?” His voice was soft and normally she would have thought his concern was sweet.

But she was beyond that now.

“No, it’s not a bloody migraine!” she cried, stamping her foot in frustration.

Nate stopped less than a breath away, his hand reached out to her waist and his fingers bit into her there. Lily could see his face and his concern was plain as day. And still, it didn’t stop her.

“What is it?” he asked, his voice low, his tone guarded.

She should have read it, been more considerate with her words but she wasn’t in the mood.

She grasped his hand at her waist and pulled it up between them.

“It’s this!” she exclaimed. “It’s the housekeeper, the workmen, the decorators! It’s everything!” She finished with, “It’s you!”

At that, she abruptly released his hand and watched the shutters instantly go down in his eyes, shielding her from his thoughts, cutting her off.

“That’s it, Nate, close down. I expected no less.” Lily’s voice was edging toward bitter.

He moved into her and Lily stood her ground.

“What’s this about?” His voice was even lower, a different kind of a low, a rumble that was so lethal it skidded across her skin like the flat of a blade.

“You tell me!” she shouted, tilting her head back and moving into him in an unsuccessful attempt to be menacing.

He said nothing. She waited. He still said nothing.

Then she stopped waiting, pulled away and ran up the stairs to their bedroom, threw open the wardrobes a shade hysterically and started to throw her clothes on the bed. She had no reason to do this but it seemed a good attempt at a grand gesture.

If he was worried she’d leave, she’d make him think that she would, she’d force him into the confrontation they should have had eight years ago.

Lily decided a grand gesture was the only thing that would get a reaction from Nate. And, for some reason, she needed a reaction from Nate. She needed it desperately.

She’d thought she could do this, live together and keep her heart apart. But, apparently, she couldn’t. It just wasn’t in her.

Because this was Nate. She’d known the instant she laid eyes on him that he was hers.

And he was hers. Except, he wasn’t.

On her second pass to the wardrobe, Nate’s hand seized her wrist and he swung her around, clothes flying everywhere.

“Talk to me, damn it,” he snarled, his dark eyes glittering with menace and something else she could not read.

“You’re a fine one to tell me to talk to you. If you were a superhero, they’d call you Silent Man,” Lily yelled.

He used her wrist to pull her closer and he leaned into her, his face barely an inch from hers. “You were talking to Laura, what did she say?” he bit out and Lily realised he was angry.

No, furious.

And it was barely contained and it scared the hell out of her.

He seemed no longer sophisticated and urbane. He was dangerous and predatory.

But still, Lily didn’t heed the warning look in his black eyes.

“Nothing!” she shouted into his face. “Not one damned thing. I asked her about you but she wouldn’t say a word!”

She saw a flash of relief cross his face before he hid it and she actually growled.

“What is it?” she cried, twisting her wrist free and grabbing fistfuls of his shirt at his chest. “What’s the damned secret about you that everyone is so intent on keeping?”

Nate’s hands hit her waist and he brought her closer but she resisted. He won, not surprisingly.

“It’s nothing,” he stated, his voice edging back to calm.

“It’s not nothing!” she exclaimed, yanking at his shirt.

“It’s nothing!” Nate barked, all calmness gone in a wink.

Lily jumped at the ferocity in his voice but she still didn’t stop and she pulled him even closer to her, her face a breath away from his.

“Well, Nate, it’s something to me. Whatever it is kept you from me for eight years. Whatever it is made you think I’d leave. Whatever it is made you let me go. Whatever it is, is holding you back from menow!”

When she finished her last dramatic statement, Nate jerked away from her and turned on his heel. Lily opened her mouth to call out to him that they weren’t nearly finished but he stopped at the door and threw it shut with such a vicious slam the pictures on the walls shuddered in their frames.

At this, she jumped again and could do nothing but stare at him, slack-jawed.

Definitely predatory. And definitely dangerous.

He strode directly to the bed, bent and with a swipe of his arm, sent her clothes flying.

At this, her eyes widened in alarm.

Then he strode, with determination, to Lily who stood rooted to the spot. He grasped her hips and lifted her upwards.

She cried out in surprise and threw her legs around his hips and grabbed his shoulders to steady herself as he turned her to the bed. Then she was falling, holding onto him as she went backwards, her back hitting the bed and Nate landed square on top of her.

“You think I’m holding back?” he growled, his eyes back to glittering dangerously, his face barely an inch away.

Regardless of all she had just witnessed, she threw caution to the wind. It was a grand gesture after all and she started it. She had to have the courage to follow it through and see where it ended or she might lose everything.

So she flung at him, “Yes!”

And then she felt his hand yank the skirt of her dress up around her waist.

“Nate!” she cried as she realised his intent and he buried his face in her neck, conveniently hiding his from view.

“You have more of me than I’ve given anyone,” he snarled against the sensitive skin at the base of her ear and then she felt his tongue there. She tried to push him away as the gymnasts, who didn’t seem to care about the dramatic events that had brought them to this pass, started to warm up with cartwheels.

At the gymnasts’ antics, Lily stopped pushing him away and slid one arm around him and the other hand into his hair, trying gently to move his head so she could see his face.

“I don’t mean this. I don’t mean here, in the bedroom,” she whispered.

It was as if she didn’t speak, one of his hands skimmed with delicious intent across her belly, up to her breast, his thumb expertly finding her nipple through the fabric and rubbed tantalisingly against it. Even though she tried to control it, Lily felt her insides melt.

“I’ve given you more than I gave my adoptive family,” he murmured, his voice turned silky and was still at her ear, the deep timbre shooting tremors through her.

“Nate, don’t do this. We’ve always been good at this. Talk to me,” Lily begged.

He ignored her and his lips edged along her jaw to her chin as his hand went between their bodies, teasing at the edge of her lacy panties.

With his lips against hers, he said, “More than I gave my mother.”

She gasped as she realised he didn’t mean Laura. It was the first time he’d spoken of his birth mother since, well, the only other time he’d ever spoken of her on their first date in the park.

Her gasp was cut off by his lips taking possession of hers in a brutal, demanding kiss, a kiss that was meant to tell her something, a kiss that coincided exactly with his fingers stopping their tantalising play. They shoved the delicate fabric of her underwear aside and two of them entered her in a beautiful invasion.

She immediately moaned against his mouth, instantly responding to his touch. Her arms went around him, her hands pulling his shirt out of his jeans so she could run her fingers along the hard muscles of his back, so she could feel the immense heat of his skin.

“So wet,” he muttered against her lips, “only for me.”

And touching her, he seemed somehow taken away from the current tense conversation, his voice almost reverent, disbelieving. The sound of it broke Lily’s heart.

His fingers started moving, she could think of nothing else, not their argument, not his secrets, just what his hand was doing to her.

“Only you, Nate,” she agreed softly.

At her words, he dropped his forehead to hers and closed his eyes that look coming over him that was so raw and intense, it shook Lily to her core.

He kept his lips against hers as his hand worked its magic but he didn’t kiss her. He’d opened his eyes and they bored into hers as his hand sent electrifying shockwaves of pleasure shooting through her body.

Finally, he said against her mouth as his thumb swirled and she cried out sharply as he brought her closer, ever so closer. “You’re not leaving me, Lily.”

She shook her head.

“Say it,” he growled.

She pressed against his hand, so close, she was nearly there.

“Please, Nate.”

“Say it!” he demanded.

“Nate,” she breathed against his mouth, one hand coming up to delve into his hair, hold his face to hers.

“Lily.” His voice was a low, velvet rumble.

She opened her half-shut eyes and looked directly into his black ones.

“I’m not leaving you, Nate. I’ll never leave you,” Lily declared, her voice trembling with a feeling that had nothing at all to do with what his fingers were doing. A feeling that had everything to do with what was in her heart. What had been in her heart since she was fourteen years old and what she knew was her wish come true when Nate had saved her from the purse snatcher.

And then his mouth crushed down on hers and he let her soar, his hand taking her to glorious heights, where he always took her. His mouth absorbed her cry of pleasure as her hands clutched at him, her hips pressing into his fingers.

As the shudders receded, he fell to his side, gently pulling her with him and righting her skirt at the same time. Then he cradled her in his arms protectively, slowly stroking her back.

Her face was pressed into his throat and she felt vulnerable and exposed. He had taken her to a beautiful place but he did not join her there.

Still removed. Always removed one way or another.

“Nate?” she mumbled against his throat.

“Mm?” He was in his own place again, his own thoughts, far, far away from her. She was beginning to recognise when he was with her and when he was gone.

Quietly, in a voice so small she was surprised he heard it, she whispered scant words that held deep meaning, “I need you here, with me.”

His hand stopped stroking and his arms tightened around her, taking her breath.

“You have me.”

She shook her head against his neck, mutely denying his words.

“You have me, Lily. I promise.”

She knew she didn’t.

But Lily experienced a colossal change of mind. A life changing one.

Even an earth shattering one.

Instead of putting all her energies into guarding her heart against him (which clearly wasn’t working, it was Nate), she was going to try to open his heart to her. She was going to use everything that was in her power, such as it was, maybe even go so far as to use her last wish to open his heart.

She had no idea if she would succeed but, Lily determined in that instant, she was damn well going to try.