The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

Eden Ahbez, "Nature Boy" (1948)

 
 
 
 
 
Tác giả: Lisa Kleypas
Thể loại: Tiểu Thuyết
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Cập nhật: 2017-08-09 10:28:40 +0700
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Chapter 7
fter an hour of romping along the hedgerow and through the orchard, Beatrix took Rye back to the house for his afternoon lessons.
“I don’t like lessons,” Rye said, heaving a sigh as they approached the French doors at the side of the house. “I’d much rather play.”
“Yes, but you must learn your maths.”
“I don’t need to, really. I already know how to count to a hundred. And I’m sure I’ll never need more than a hundred of anything.”
Beatrix grinned. “Practice your letters, then. And you’ll be able to read lots of adventure stories.”
“But if I spend my time reading about adventures,” Rye said, “I won’t actually be having them.”
Beatrix shook her head and laughed. “I should know better than to debate with you, Rye. You’re as clever as a cart full of monkeys.”
The child scampered up the stairs and turned to look back at her. “Aren’t you coming in, Auntie?”
“Not yet,” she said absently, her gaze drawn to the forest beyond Ramsay House. “I think I’ll go for a walk.”
“Shall I come with you?”
“Thank you, Rye, but at the moment I need a solitary walk.”
“You’re going to look for the dog,” he said wisely.
Beatrix smiled. “I might.”
Rye regarded her speculatively. “Auntie?”
“Yes?”
“Are you ever going to marry?”
“I hope so, Rye. But I have to find the right gentleman first.”
“If no one else will marry you, I will when I’m grown up. But only if I’m taller, because I wouldn’t want to look up at you.”
“Thank you,” she said gravely, suppressing a smile as she turned and strode toward the forest.
It was a walk she had taken hundreds of times before. The scenery was familiar, shadows broken by sunlight that came in shards through the tree limbs. Bark was frosted with pale green moss, except for the dark erosions where wood had turned into dust. The woodland floor was soft with mud, overlaid by papery leaves, ferns, and hazel catkins. The sounds were familiar, birdsong and swishing leaves, and the rustlings of a million small creatures.
For all her acquaintance with these woods, however, Beatrix was aware of a new feeling. A sense that she should be cautious. The air was charged with the promise of... something. As she went farther, the feeling intensified. Her heart behaved strangely, a wild pulse awakening in her wrists and throat and even in her knees.
There was movement ahead, a shape sliding low through the trees and rippling the bracken. It was not a human shape.
Picking up a fallen branch, Beatrix deftly snapped it to the length of a walking stick.
The creature went still, and silence descended over the forest.
“Come here,” Beatrix called out.
A dog came bounding toward her, crashing through brush and leaves. He gave the distinctive bay of a terrier. Halting a few yards away from her, the dog snarled and bared long white teeth.
Beatrix held still and studied him calmly. He was lean, his wiry fur stripped short except for comical whisks of it on his face and ears and near his eyes. Such expressive bright eyes, round as shillings.
There was no mistaking that distinctive face. She had seen it before.
“Albert?” she said in wonder.
The dog’s ears twitched at the name. Crouching, he growled in his throat, a sound of angry confusion.
“He brought you back with him,” Beatrix said, dropping the stick. Her eyes prickled with the beginnings of tears, even as she let out a little laugh. “I’m so glad you made it through the war safely. Come, Albert, let’s be friends.” She stayed unmoving and let the dog approach her cautiously. He sniffed at her skirts, circling slowly. In a moment she felt his cold wet nose nudge the side of her hand. She didn’t move to pet him, only allowed him to become familiar with her scent. When she saw the change in his face, the jaw muscles relaxing and his mouth hanging open, she spoke firmly. “Sit, Albert.”
His bottom dropped to the ground. A whine whistled from his throat. Beatrix reached out to stroke his head and scratch behind his ears. Albert panted eagerly, his eyes half closed in enjoyment.
“So you’ve run off from him, have you?” Beatrix asked, smoothing the wiry ruff on his head. “Naughty boy. I suppose you’ve had a fine old time chasing rabbits and squirrels. And there’s a damaging rumor about a missing chicken. You had better stay out of poultry yards, or it won’t go well for you in Stony Cross. Shall I take you home, boy? He’s probably looking for you. He—”
She stopped at the sound of something... someone... moving through the thicket. Albert turned his head and let out a happy bark, bounding toward the approaching figure.
Beatrix was slow to lift her head. She struggled to moderate her breathing, and tried to calm the frantic stutters of her heart. She was aware of the dog bounding joyfully back to her, tongue dangling. He glanced back at his master as if to convey Look what I found!
Letting out a slow breath, Beatrix looked up at the man who had stopped approximately three yards away.
Christopher.
It seemed the entire world stopped.
Beatrix tried to compare the man standing before her with the cavalier rake he had once been. But it seemed impossible that he could be the same person. No longer a god descending from Olympus... now a warrior hardened by bitter experience.
His complexion was a deep mixture of gold and copper, as if he had been slowly steeped in sun. The dark wheaten locks of his hair had been cut in efficiently short layers. His face was impassive, but something volatile was contained in the stillness.
How bleak he looked. How alone.
She wanted to run to him. She wanted to touch him. The effort of standing motionless caused her muscles to tremble in protest.
She heard herself speak in a voice that wasn’t quite steady. “Welcome home, Captain Phelan.”
He was silent, staring at her without apparent recognition. Dear Lord, those eyes... frost and fire, his gaze burning through her awareness.
“I’m Beatrix Hathaway,” she managed to say. “My family—”
“I remember you.”
The rough velvet of his voice was a pleasure-stroke against her ears. Fascinated, bewildered, Beatrix stared at his guarded face.
To Christopher Phelan, she was a stranger. But the memories of his letters were between them, even if he wasn’t aware of it.
Her hand moved gently over Albert’s rough fur. “You were absent in London,” she said. “There was a great deal of hullabaloo on your behalf.”
“I wasn’t ready for it.”
So much was expressed in that spare handful of words. Of course he wasn’t ready. The contrast would be too jarring, the blood-soaked brutality of war followed by a fanfare of parades and trumpets and flower petals. “I can’t imagine any sane man would be,” she said. “It’s quite an uproar. Your picture is in all the shop windows. And they’re naming things after you.”
“Things,” he repeated cautiously.
“There’s a Phelan hat.”
His brows lowered. “No there isn’t.”
“Oh, yes there is. Rounded at the top. Narrow-brimmed. Sold in shades of gray or black. They have one featured at the milliner’s in Stony Cross.”
Scowling, Christopher muttered something beneath his breath.
Beatrix played gently with Albert’s ears. “I... heard about Albert, from Prudence. How lovely that you brought him back with you.”
“It was a mistake,” he said flatly. “He’s behaved like a mad creature ever since we landed at Dover. So far he’s tried to bite two people, including one of my servants. He won’t stop barking. I had to shut him in a garden shed last night, and he escaped.”
“He’s fearful,” Beatrix said. “He thinks if he acts that way, no one will harm him.” Eagerly the dog stood on his hind legs and set his front paws on her. Beatrix bumped a knee gently against his chest.
“Here,” Christopher said, in a tone of such quiet menace that it sent a chill down Beatrix’s spine. The dog slunk to him, tail between his legs. Christopher took a coiled leather leash from his coat pocket and looped it around the dog’s neck. He glanced at Beatrix, his gaze traveling from the two smears of mud on her skirts to the gentle curves of her breasts. “My apologies,” he said brusquely.
“No harm done. I don’t mind. But he should be taught not to jump on people.”
“He’s only been with soldiers. He knows nothing of polite company.”
“He can learn. I’m sure he’ll be a fine dog once he becomes used to his new surroundings.” Beatrix paused before offering, “I could work with him the next time I visit Audrey. I’m very good with dogs.”
Christopher gave her a brooding glance. “I’d forgotten you were friends with my sister-in-law.”
“Yes.” Beatrix hesitated. “I should have said earlier that I’m very sorry for the loss of your—”
His hand lifted in a staying gesture. As he brought it to his side, his fingers curled into a tight fist.
Beatrix understood. The pain of his brother’s death was still too acute. It was territory he couldn’t yet traverse. “You haven’t been able to grieve yet, have you?” she asked gently. “I suppose his death wasn’t entirely real to you, until you came back to Stony Cross.”
Christopher gave her a warning glance.
Beatrix had seen that look from captured animals, the helpless animosity toward anyone who approached. She had learned to respect such a glance, understanding that wild creatures were at their most dangerous when they had the fewest defenses. She returned her attention to the dog, smoothing his fur repeatedly.
“How is Prudence?” she heard him ask. It hurt to hear the note of wary longing in his voice.
“Quite well, I believe. She’s in London for the season.” Beatrix hesitated before adding carefully, “We are still friends, but perhaps not as fond of each other as we once were.”
“Why?”
His gaze was alert now. Clearly any mention of Prudence earned his close attention.
Because of you, Beatrix thought, and managed a faint, wry smile. “It seems we have different interests.” I’m interested in you, and she’s interested in your inheritance.
“You’re hardly cut from the same cloth.”
Hearing the sardonic note in his voice, Beatrix tilted her head and regarded him curiously. “I don’t take your meaning.”
He hesitated. “I only meant that Miss Mercer is conventional. And you’re... not.” His tone was seasoned with the merest hint of condescension... but there was no mistaking it.
Abruptly all the feelings of compassion and tenderness disappeared as Beatrix realized that Christopher Phelan had not changed in one regard: he still didn’t like her.
“I would never want to be a conventional person,” she said. “They’re usually dull and superficial.”
It seemed he took that as a slight against Prudence.
“As compared to people who bring garden pests to picnics? No one could accuse you of being dull, Miss Hathaway.”
Beatrix felt the blood drain from her face. He had insulted her. The realization made her numb.
“You may insult me,” she said, half amazed that she could still speak. “But leave my hedgehog alone.”
Whirling around, she walked away from him in long, digging strides. Albert whimpered and began to follow, which forced Christopher to call him back.
Beatrix didn’t glance over her shoulder, only plowed forward. Bad enough to love a man who didn’t love her. But it was exponentially worse to love a man who actively disliked her.
Ridiculously, she wished she could write to her Christopher about the stranger she had just met.
He was so contemptuous, she would write. He dismissed me as someone who didn’t deserve a modicum of respect. Clearly he thinks I’m wild and more than a little mad. And the worst part is that he’s probably right.
It crossed her mind that this was why she preferred the company of animals to people. Animals weren’t deceitful. They didn’t give one conflicting impressions of who they were. And one was never tempted to hope that an animal might change its nature.
Christopher walked back home with Albert padding calmly beside him. For some reason the dog seemed improved after meeting Beatrix Hathaway. As Christopher gave him a damning glance, Albert looked up at him with a toothy grin, his tongue lolling.
“Idiot,” Christopher muttered, although he wasn’t certain if the word was directed at his dog or himself.
He felt troubled and guilty. He knew he’d behaved like an ass to Beatrix Hathaway. She had tried to be friendly, and he had been cold and condescending.
He hadn’t meant to be offensive. It was just that he was nearly mad with longing for Prudence, for the sweet, artless voice that had saved his sanity. Every word of every letter she’d sent him still resonated through his soul.
“I’ve done a great deal of walking lately. I seem to think better outdoors...”
And when Christopher had set out to find Albert, and found himself walking through the forest, a mad idea had taken hold of him... that she was nearby, and fate would bring them together that quickly, that simply.
But instead of finding the woman he had dreamed of, craved, needed for so long, he had found Beatrix Hathaway.
It wasn’t that he disliked her. Beatrix was an odd creature, but fairly engaging, and far more attractive than he had remembered. In fact, she had become a beauty in his absence, her gangly coltish shape now curved and graceful...
Christopher shook his head impatiently, trying to redirect his thoughts. But the image of Beatrix Hathaway remained. A lovely oval face, a gently erotic mouth, and haunting blue eyes, a blue so rich and deep it seemed to contain hints of purple. And that silky dark hair, pinned up haphazardly, with teasing locks slipping free.
Christ, it had been too long since he’d had a woman. He was randy as the devil, and lonely, and filled with equal measures of grief and anger. He had so many unfulfilled needs, and he didn’t begin to know how to address any of them. But finding Prudence seemed like a good start.
He would rest here for a few days. When he felt more like his former self, he would go to Prudence in London. At the moment, however, it was fairly clear that his old way with words had left him. And Christopher knew that whereas he had once been relaxed and charming, he was now guarded and wooden.
Part of the problem was that he wasn’t sleeping well. Any slight noise, a creak of the house settling, a rap of a branch against the window, woke him to full heart-pounding readiness. And it happened in the daylight hours as well. Yesterday Audrey had dropped a book from a stack she was carrying, and Christopher had nearly jumped out of his shoes. He had instinctively reached for a weapon before recalling in the next instant that he no longer carried a gun. His rifle had become as familiar as one of his own limbs... he often felt it as a phantom presence.
Christopher’s steps slowed. He stopped to crouch beside Albert, looking into that shaggy fur-whisked face. “Hard to leave the war behind, isn’t it?” he murmured, petting the dog with affectionate roughness. Albert panted and lunged against him, and tried to lick his face. “Poor fellow, you have no idea what’s going on, do you? For all you know, shells may start exploding overhead at any moment.”
Albert flopped to his back and arched up his tummy, begging for a scratch. Christopher obliged him, and stood. “Let’s go back,” he said. “I’ll let you inside the house again—but God help you if you bite anyone.”
Unfortunately, as soon as they went into the ivy-covered mansion, Albert erupted in the same hostility he had shown before. Grimly Christopher dragged him to the parlor, where his mother and Audrey were having tea.
Albert barked at the women. He barked at a terrified housemaid. He barked at a fly on the wall. He barked at the teapot.
“Quiet,” Christopher said through gritted teeth, pulling the crazed canine to the settee. He tied one end of the leash to a leg of the settee. “Sit, Albert. Down.”
Warily the dog settled on the floor and growled in his throat.
Audrey pasted a false smile on her face and inquired in a parody of teatime manners, “Shall I pour?”
“Thank you,” Christopher said in a dry tone, and went to join them at the tea table.
His mother’s face pleated, accordionlike, and her voice emerged in a strained tone. “It’s leaving mud on the carpet. Must you inflict that creature on us, Christopher?”
“Yes, I must. He has to become accustomed to staying in the house.”
“I won’t become accustomed to it,” his mother retorted. “I understand that the dog assisted you during the war. But surely you have no need of it now.”
“Sugar? Milk?” Audrey asked, her soft brown eyes now unsmiling as she gazed from Christopher to his mother.
“Only sugar.” Christopher watched as she stirred a lump of sugar into tea with a little spoon. He took the cup and concentrated on the steaming liquid, while he struggled with a rush of untoward rage. This, too, was a new problem, these surges of feeling that were entirely out of proportion to the circumstances.
When Christopher had calmed himself sufficiently to speak, he said, “Albert did more than assist me. When I spent days at a time in a muddy trench, he kept watch over me so that I could sleep without fear of being taken by surprise. He took messages up and down the lines, so that we didn’t make mistakes in carrying out orders. He alerted us when he sensed the enemy approaching, long before our eyes or ears could have detected anyone.” Christopher paused as he glanced into his mother’s taut, unhappy face. “I owe him my life, and my loyalty. And unsightly and ill mannered though he is, I happen to love him.” He slitted a glance at Albert.
Albert’s tail thumped the floor enthusiastically.
Audrey looked dubious. His mother looked angry.
Christopher drank his tea in the ensuing silence. It tore at his heart to see the changes in both women. They were both thin and pale. His mother’s hair had gone white. No doubt John’s prolonged illness had taken a toll on them before his death, and nearly a year of mourning had finished the job.
Not for the first time, Christopher thought it a shame that the rules of mourning imposed such solitude on people, when it probably would have benefited them to have company and pleasant distractions.
Setting down her half-finished cup of tea, his mother pushed back from the table. Christopher rose to help her with the chair.
“I can’t enjoy my tea with that beast staring at me,” she said. “At any moment, it could leap forward and rip my throat out.”
“His leash is tied to the furniture, Mother,” Audrey pointed out.
“That doesn’t matter. It’s a savage creature, and I detest it.” She swept out of the room, her head high with indignation.
Freed of the necessity for good manners, Audrey rested an elbow on the table and leaned her hand on her chin. “Your uncle and aunt have invited her to stay with them in Hertfordshire,” she said. “I’ve encouraged her to accept their offer. She needs a change of view.”
“The house is too dark,” Christopher said. “Why are all the shutters closed and the curtains drawn?”
“The light hurts her eyes.”
“The devil it does.” Christopher stared at her with a slight frown. “She should go,” he said. “She’s been holed up in this morgue for far too long. And so have you.”
Audrey sighed. “It’s almost been a year. Soon I’ll be out of full mourning and I can go into half-mourning.”
“What is half-mourning, exactly?” Christopher asked, having only a vague notion of such female-oriented rituals.
“It means I can stop wearing veils” Audrey said without enthusiasm. “I can wear gray and lavender dresses, and ornaments without shine. And I may attend a few limited social events, as long as I don’t actually appear to be enjoying myself.”
Christopher snorted derisively. “Who invents these rules?”
“I don’t know. But heaven help us, we must follow them or face the wrath of society.” Audrey paused. “Your mother says she won’t go into half-mourning. She intends to wear black for the rest of her life.”
Christopher nodded, unsurprised. His mother’s devotion had only been strengthened by death. “It’s clear that every time she looks at me,” he said, “she thinks I should have been the son she lost.”
Audrey opened her mouth to argue, then closed it. “It was hardly your fault that you came back alive,” she said eventually. “I’m glad you’re here. And I believe that somewhere in her heart, your mother is glad as well. But she’s become slightly unbalanced during the past year. I don’t think she’s always entirely aware of what she says or does. I believe some time away from Hampshire will do her good.” She paused. “I’m going to leave, too, Christopher. I want to see my family in London. And it wouldn’t be appropriate for the two of us to stay here unchaperoned.”
“I’ll escort you to London in a few days, if you like. I had already planned to go there to see Prudence Mercer.”
Audrey frowned. “Oh.”
Christopher gave her a questioning glance. “I gather your opinion of her has not changed.”
“Oh, it has. It’s worsened.”
He couldn’t help but feel defensive on Prudence’s behalf. “Why?”
“For the past two years, Prudence has earned a reputation as a shameless flirt. Her ambition to marry a wealthy man, preferably a peer, is known to everyone. I hope you have no illusions that she pined for you in your absence.”
“I would hardly expect her to don sackcloth while I was gone.”
“Good, because she didn’t. In fact, from all appearances you slipped from her mind completely.” Audrey paused before adding bitterly, “However, soon after John passed away and you became the new heir to Riverton, Prudence evinced a great deal of renewed interest in you.”
Christopher showed no expression as he puzzled over this unwelcome information. It sounded nothing like the woman who had corresponded with him. Clearly Prudence was the victim of vicious rumors—and in light of her beauty and charm, that was entirely expected.
However, he had no desire to start an argument with his sister-in-law. Hoping to distract her from the volatile subject of Prudence Mercer, he said, “I happened to meet one of your friends today, when I chanced upon her during a walk.”
“Who?”
“Miss Hathaway.”
“Beatrix?” Audrey looked at him attentively. “I hope you were polite to her.”
“Not especially,” he admitted.
“What did you say to her?”
He scowled into his teacup. “I insulted her hedgehog,” he muttered.
Audrey looked exasperated. “Oh, good God.” She began to stir her tea so vigorously that the spoon threatened to crack the porcelain cup. “And to think you were once renowned for your silver tongue. What perverse instinct drives you to repeatedly offend one of the nicest women I’ve ever known?”
“I haven’t repeatedly offended her, I just did it today.”
Her mouth twisted in derision. “How conveniently short your memory is. All of Stony Cross knows that you once said she belonged in the stables.”
“I would never have said that to a woman, no matter how damned eccentric she was. Is.”
“Beatrix overheard you telling it to one of your friends, at the harvest dance held at Stony Cross Manor.”
“And she told everyone?”
“No, she made the mistake of confiding in Prudence, who told everyone. Prudence is an incurable gossip.”
“Obviously you have no liking for Prudence,” he began, “but if you—”
“I’ve tried my best to like her. I thought if one peeled away the layers of artifice, one would find the real Prudence beneath. But there’s nothing beneath. And I doubt there ever will be.”
“And you find Beatrix Hathaway superior to her?”
“In every regard, except perhaps beauty.”
“There you have it wrong,” he informed her. “Miss Hathaway is a beauty.”
Audrey’s brows lifted. “Do you think so?” she asked idly, lifting the teacup to her lips.
“It’s obvious. Regardless of what I think of her character, Miss Hathaway is an exceptionally attractive woman.”
“Oh, I don’t know...” Audrey devoted careful attention to her tea, adding a tiny lump of sugar. “She’s rather tall.”
“She has the ideal height and form.”
“And brown hair is so common...”
“It’s not the usual shade of brown, it’s as dark as sable. And those eyes...”
“Blue,” Audrey said with a dismissive wave.
“The deepest, purest blue I’ve ever seen. No artist could capture—” Christopher broke off abruptly. “Never mind. I’m straying from the point.”
“What is your point?” Audrey asked sweetly.
“That it is of no significance to me whether Miss Hathaway is a beauty or not. She’s peculiar, and so is her family, and I have no interest in any of them. By the same token, I don’t give a damn if Prudence Mercer is beautiful—I’m interested in the workings of her mind. Her lovely, original, absolutely compelling mind.”
“I see. Beatrix’s mind is peculiar, and Prudence’s is original and compelling.”
“Just so.”
Audrey shook her head slowly. “There is something I want to tell you. But it’s going to become more obvious over time. And you wouldn’t believe it if I told you, or at least you wouldn’t want to believe it. This is one of those things that must be discovered for oneself.”
“Audrey, what the devil are you talking about?”
Folding her narrow arms across her chest, his sister-in-law contemplated him sternly. And yet a strange little smile kept tugging at the corners of her lips. “If you are at all a gentleman,” she finally said, “you will call on Beatrix tomorrow and apologize for hurting her feelings. Go during one of your walks with Albert—she’ll be glad to see him, if not you.”
Love In The Afternoon Love In The Afternoon - Lisa Kleypas Love In The  Afternoon