e drive my car across state lines into Illinois, to a particularly awful neighborhood of some busted river town, and we spend an hour wiping it down, and then we leave it with the keys in the ignition. Call it the circle of strife: The Arkansas couple who drove it before me were sketchy; Ozark Amy was obviously shady; hopefully, some Illinois down-and-outer will enjoy it for a bit too.

Then we drive back into Missouri over wavy hills until I can see, between the trees, Lake Hannafan glistening. Because Desi has family in St. Louis, he likes to believe the area is old, East Coast old, but he is wrong. Lake Hannafan is not named after a nineteenth-century statesman or a Civil War hero. It is a private lake, machine-forged in 2002 by an oily developer named Mike Hannafan who turned out to have a moonlighting job illegally disposing of hazardous waste. The kerfuffled community is scrambling to find a new name for their lake. Lake Collings, I’m sure, has been floated.

So despite the well-planned lake – upon which a few select residents can sail but not motor – and Desi’s tastefully grand house – a Swiss château on an American scale – I remain unwooed. That was always the problem with Desi. Be from Missouri or don’t, but don’t pretend Lake ‘Collings’ is Lake Como.

He leans against his Jaguar and aims his gaze up at the house so that I have to pause for appreciation also.

‘We modeled it after this wonderful little chalet my mother and I stayed at in Brienzersee,’ he says. ‘All we’re missing is the mountain range.’

A rather big miss, I think, but I put my hand on his arm and say, ‘Show me the inside. It must be fabulous.’

He gives me the nickel tour, laughing at the idea of a nickel. A cathedral kitchen – all granite and chrome – a living room with his-and-hers fireplaces that flows onto an outdoor space (what midwesterners call a deck) overlooking the woods and the lake. A basement entertainment room with a snooker table, darts, surround sound, a wet bar, and its own outdoor space (what midwesterners call another deck). A sauna off the entertainment room and next to it the wine cellar. Upstairs, five bedrooms, the second largest of which he bestows on me.

‘I had it repainted,’ he says. ‘I know you love dusty rose.’

I don’t love dusty rose anymore; that was high school. ‘You are so lovely, Desi, thank you,’ I say, my most heartfelt. My thank-yous always come out rather labored. I often don’t give them at all. People do what they’re supposed to do and then wait for you to pile on the appreciation – they’re like frozen-yogurt employees who put out cups for tips.

But Desi takes to thank-yous like a cat being brushed; his back almost arches with the pleasure. For now it’s a worthwhile gesture.

I set my bag down in my room, trying to signal my retirement for the evening – I need to see how people are reacting to Andie’s confession and whether Nick has been arrested – but it seems I am far from through with the thank-yous. Desi has ensured I will be forever indebted to him. He smiles a special-surprise smile and takes my hand (I have something else to show you) and pulls me back downstairs (I really hope you like this) onto a hallway off the kitchen (it took a lot of work, but it’s so worth it).

‘I really hope you like this,’ he says again, and flings open the door.

It’s a glass room, a greenhouse, I realize. Within are tulips, hundreds, of all colors. Tulips bloom in the middle of July in Desi’s lake house. In their own special room for a very special girl.

‘I know tulips are your favorite, but the season is so short,’ Desi said. ‘So I fixed that for you. They’ll bloom year-round.’

He puts his arm around my waist and aims me toward the flowers so I can appreciate them fully.

‘Tulips any day of the year,’ I say, and try to get my eyes to glisten. Tulips were my favorite in high school. They were everyone’s favorite, the gerbera daisy of the late ’80s. Now I like orchids, which are basically the opposite of tulips.

‘Would Nick ever have thought of something like this for you?’ Desi breathes into my ear as the tulips sway under a mechanized dusting of water from above.

‘Nick never even remembered I liked tulips,’ I say, the correct answer.

It is sweet, beyond sweet, the gesture. My own flower room, like a fairy tale. And yet I feel a lilt of nerves: I called Desi only twenty-four hours ago, and these are not newly planted tulips, and the bedroom did not smell of fresh paint. It makes me wonder: the uptick in his letters the past year, their wooful tone … how long has he been wanting to bring me here? And how long does he think I will stay? Long enough to enjoy blooming tulips every day for a year.

‘My goodness, Desi,’ I say. ‘It’s like a fairy tale.’

‘Your fairy tale,’ he says. ‘I want you to see what life can be like.’

In fairy tales, there is always gold. I wait for him to give me a stack of bills, a slim credit card, something of use. The tour loops back around through all the rooms so I can ooh and ahh about details I missed the first time, and then we return to my bedroom, a satin-and-silk, pink-and-plush, marshmallow-and-cotton-candy girl’s room. As I peer out a window, I notice the high wall that surrounds the house.

I blurt, nervously, ‘Desi, would you be able to leave me with some money?’

He actually pretends to be surprised. ‘You don’t need money now, do you?’ he says. ‘You have no rent to pay anymore; the house will be stocked with food. I can bring new clothes for you. Not that I don’t like you in bait-shop chic.’

‘I guess a little cash would just make me feel more comfortable. Should something happen. Should I need to get out of here quickly.’

He opens his wallet and pulls out two twenty-dollar bills. Presses them gently in my hand. ‘There you are,’ he says indulgently.

I wonder then if I have made a very big mistake.