Thất bại lớn nhất của một người là anh ta không bao giờ chịu thừa nhận mình có thể bị thất bại.

Gerald N. Weiskott

 
 
 
 
 
Tác giả: Kristan Higgins
Thể loại: Tiểu Thuyết
Biên tập: Bach Ly Bang
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Language: English
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Cập nhật: 2015-08-17 06:30:19 +0700
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Chapter 32
HAHAHA. AHAHAHA. OOOH. Ahahaha.” Mom’s society laugh rang out loud and false over the table.
“Hoohoohoohoo!” Andrew’s mother, not to be out-faked, chortled right back. From the other side of the table, Margaret kicked me meaningfully, making me wince in pain.
“Aren’t you glad you’re not marrying into that family?” she hissed.
“So glad,” I whispered back.
“Margaret, are you drunk?” Mémé asked her loudly. “I had a cousin who couldn’t hold her liquor, either. Disgraceful. In my day, a lady never overindulged.”
“Aren’t you glad those days are gone now, Mémé?” Margaret quipped. “Would you like another Rusty Nail, by the way?”
“Thank you, dear,” Mémé said, mollified. Margaret signaled the waiter, then made a mocking toast to me.
“Oh, yes, a toast!” Natalie cried. “Honey, make a toast!”
Andrew stood up, his parents gazing at him with servantile adoration. “This is such a happy day for us,” he said. Awkwardly. His eyes paused on me, then moved on. “Nattie and I are so happy. And we’re so happy that you’re all here to share our happiness.”
“I know I’m happy,” I muttered to Margs, rolling my eyes.
“Hardly a great orator, is he?” she said, loud enough for our mother to hear. Mom covered with another round of “Ahahaha. Ahahaha. Oooh. Ahahaha.”
The waiter appeared with our appetizers. Looking up, I saw it was Cambry. “Hey!” I exclaimed. “How are you?”
“I’m fine,” he said, grinning.
“I hear we’re all having dinner next week chez Julian.”
“If he doesn’t bolt,” Cambry answered, setting down the oysters Rockefeller in front of me.
Julian was in a relationship. Granted, the mere word caused him stomach cramps and a cold sweat, but he was dating, and even he couldn’t find much fault with Cambry, who was waiting tables while he finished law school.
“You hang in there,” I said. “You’re good for him. He hardly ever wants to come over and watch Dancing with the Stars these days. I should probably hate you.”
“Do you?” he asked, raising a concerned eyebrow.
“No, of course not. But you have to share. He’s been my best friend since high school.”
“Duly noted,” he said.
“Grace, I thought the oysters here caused food poisoning,” Mémé bellowed, causing a nearby diner to spit abruptly into his napkin.
“No, no!” I said loudly. “No. They’re great. So fresh!” I smiled encouragingly to the napkin spitter and took a bite as he watched nervously.
“Well, didn’t they just about kill your doctor?” Mémé asked, turning to the Carsons, who were smiling politely. “He was in the toilet for twenty minutes,” she informed them, as if they hadn’t been there. “The trots, you know. My second husband had stomach problems. We couldn’t leave the house some days! And the smell!”
“It was so bad, the cat fainted,” Margaret intoned.
“It was so bad, the cat fainted!” Mémé announced.
“Okay, Mother,” Dad said, his face burning. “Perhaps that’s enough.”
“Ahahaha. Ahahaha. Oooh. Ahahaha,” laughed Mom, her eyes murderous upon her mother-in-law, who was knocking back another cocktail. Personally, I’d never been fonder of Mémé, for some reason. Cambry was struggling unsuccessfully to hide his laughter, and in a rush of warm sincerity, I said a quick little prayer that he and Julian would make it. Even if it meant I had no one to cushion my loneliness, poor lonely spinster that I was. Perhaps Angus needed a wife. Maybe I could have his little snipping reversed and I could become a dog breeder for people who loved to have things destroyed by adorable barking balls of fur. Or not.
I looked down the table at Natalie. She wore a pale blue dress, and her smooth, honey-colored hair was swept up and held with the kind of clip my own hair ate like a Venus flytrap. She looked so happy. Her hand brushed Andrew’s over a roll, and she blushed at the contact. Aw. Then she caught my eye, and I smiled at her, my beautiful sister. She smiled back.
“Grace, where’s Callahan?” she asked abruptly, her head snapping around to look for him. “Is he coming separately?”
Drat. The truth was, I’d been kind of hoping not to have to discuss it. I hadn’t mentioned my breakup to anyone but Margaret. For two reasons. One, I’d been holding on to the hope that Cal might, well, forgive me, realizing that I was the one for him and he couldn’t live without me. And two, I didn’t want to rain on Nattie’s parade. She’d be worried about me, cluck and pat my back and puzzle over how someone could not want to date her big sister. Someone other than Andrew, that was.
Lucky for me, I’d just taken a bite of my oysters, so I grinned and pointed and chewed. And chewed. Chewed a bit more, stalling as the oyster was ground into flavored saliva.
“Who’s Callahan?” asked Mrs. Carson, turning her beady eyes on me.
“Grace is dating someone wonderful,” Mom announced loudly.
“A convict,” Mémé said, then belched. “An Irish convict with big hands. Right, Grace?”
Mr. Carson choked, Mrs. Carson’s slitty eyes grew wider with malicious glee. “Well,” I began.
“He used to be an accountant,” my father said heartily. “Went to Tulane.”
Margaret sighed.
“He’s a handyman, right, Grace?” Mémé bellowed. “Or a gardener. Or a lumberjack. I can’t remember.”
“Or a coal miner. Or a shepherd,” Margaret added, making me snort.
“He’s wonderful,” Mom said firmly, ignoring both her eldest child and Callahan’s criminal past. “So, er, handsome.”
“Oh, he is!” Natalie said, turning her shining eyes to the Carsons. “He and Grace are so good together. You can tell they’re just crazy about each other.”
“He dumped me,” I announced calmly, wiping my mouth. Across the table, Margaret choked on some wine. As she sputtered into her napkin, she gave me a thumbs-up.
“The gardener dumped you? What? What did she say?” Mémé asked. “Why are you mumbling, Grace?”
“Callahan dumped me, Mémé,” I said loudly. “My ethics aren’t up to snuff.”
“The prisoner said that?” Mémé barked.
“Pish!” my mother said. No one else said a word. Natalie looked like I’d clubbed her over the head.
“Thanks, Mom,” I said. “Sorry to say, I think he’s right.”
“Oh, Pudding, no. You’re wonderful,” Dad said. “What does he know, after all? He’s an idiot. An ex-con and an idiot.”
“An ex-con?” Mr. Carson wheezed.
“No, he’s not, Dad. He’s not an idiot, that is. He is an ex-con, Mr. Carson,” I clarified.
“Well,” Mom said, her eyes darting between the Carsons and me, “do you think you might get back with your pediatric surgeon? He was such a nice young man.”
Wow. Amazing how a lie could be so powerful. I looked at Margaret. She looked back, lifted an eyebrow. I turned back to my mother.
“There was no pediatric surgeon, Mom,” I said, enunciating so Mémé could hear. “I made him up.”
You know, it was almost fun, dropping a bomb like that. Almost. Margaret sat back and smiled broadly. “You go, Grace,” she said, and for the first time in a long time, she looked genuinely happy.
I sat up a little straighter, though my heart was thudding so hard I thought I might throw up. My voice shook…but it carried, too. “I pretended to date someone so Natalie and Andrew wouldn’t feel so guilty. And so everyone would stop treating me like I was some sort of abandoned dog covered in sores.”
“Oh, Grace,” Nat whispered.
“What? Grace, you can’t be serious!” Dad exclaimed.
“I am, Dad. I’m sorry,” I said, swallowing hard. Here it was at last…my confession. I started talking again, and my voice grew faster and faster. “Andrew broke up with me because he fell in love with Natalie, and it hurt. A lot. But I was getting over it. I was, and if they wanted to be together, I didn’t want to be the reason they stayed apart. So I made up Wyatt Dunn, this impossibly perfect guy, and everyone felt much better, and I just ran with it because to tell you the truth, it felt great, even just pretending I had a boyfriend who was so wonderful. But then I fell for Callahan, and obviously I had to break up with Wyatt, and then, that night that Andrew came over and kissed me on the porch, Cal was really unhappy about that, and we talked and then I ended up telling him about Wyatt Dunn. And he dumped me. Because I lied.”
My breath came in shaky little gasps, and my back was damp with sweat. Margaret reached across the table and put her hand over mind. “Good girl,” she murmured.
Natalie didn’t move. The Carsons’ heads swiveled to gape at their son, who looked like he’d just been shot in the stomach, eyes wide with horror, face white. The rest of the restaurant was so quiet, you could almost hear the crickets cheeping.
“Wait a minute, wait a sec,” my father said, his face slack with confusion. “Then who was I talking to in the bathroom that night?”
“Shut it, Jim,” my mother hissed.
“That was Julian, pretending to be Wyatt,” I said. “Any other questions? Comments? No? Okay, then, I’m going out for some air.”
On shaking legs, I walked across the restaurant, past the now-silent diners, my face on fire. As I entered the foyer, Cambry leaped over to open the front door. “You are one magnificent creature,” he said in an admiring voice as I walked out.
“Thanks,” I whispered.
He had the grace to leave me alone. I was shaking like a leaf, my heart thudding. Who said that confession was good for the soul? I wanted to throw up. Going over to a small bench that sat in the restaurant’s front garden, I sat down heavily. Pressed my cold fingers against my burning cheeks and closed my eyes, just trying to breathe normally. In and out. In and out. Not hyperventilating or passing out would be enough for now.
“Grace?” Natalie’s voice was timid. I hadn’t heard her footsteps.
“Hey, Nattie,” I said wearily without looking up.
“Can I sit with you?” she asked.
“Sure. Of course.” Natalie sat next to me. When she slipped her hand into mine, I looked down at our entwined hands. Her engagement ring caught the light. “My ring looked just like this,” I murmured.
“I know. Who buys the same ring for sisters?”
“He probably didn’t remember the one he gave to me. He can’t even pick out matching socks.”
“Pathetic,” she murmured.
“Men,” I muttered.
“So dumb.”
I agreed…in Andrew’s case, anyway. “Did he tell you about that kiss?” I whispered.
I hadn’t meant to ruin anything for Natalie. Should’ve thought about that before I opened my mouth.
She was quiet for a moment. “Yes, he told me.” A mockingbird twittered above us, a long stream of notes.
“What did he say?” I asked, more out of curiosity than anything.
“He said it was a lapse in judgment. That being in the house with you, having seen you with another guy…it made him feel a little jealous.”
I sneaked a glance at my sister. “What did you think about that?”
“Well, I thought he was an asshole, Grace,” she said, making my mouth drop open in shock. “It was our first fight. I told him he’d screwed up our lives enough already, and kissing you was unacceptable. Then I slammed a few doors and stomped around for a while.”
Natalie’s face was red. “How refreshing,” I murmured.
She snorted. “And I was…jealous. Not that I had a right to be, given what I did to you.”
I squeezed her hand. “You can’t help the big kablammy,” I said.
Natalie shot me a questioning glance.
“You know,” I said. “The thunderbolt. Just one look, that’s all it took, all that garbage.” I paused. “But you made up, obviously. You guys are okay, right?”
She gave a little nod. “I think so,” she whispered, looking straight ahead and squeezing my hand a little tighter. Her eyes were full of tears. “Grace, I’m so sorry that of all the people in the world, I had to fall for him. That I hurt you.” She drew a shaking breath. “I never said it, but I’ll say it now. I’m so, so sorry.”
“Well, you know, it really sucked,” I admitted. It was a relief to say the words.
“Are you mad at me?” Two tears slipped down her cheeks.
“No,” I assured her. Then I reconsidered. “Well…not anymore. I tried not to be. I was more mad at Andrew, to be honest, but yeah, part of me was just screaming. It wasn’t fair.”
“Grace, you know you’re my favorite person in the world. The last person I’d ever willingly hurt. I never meant to. I never wanted to. I hated that I fell for Andrew. I hated it.” She was crying harder now.
I slipped my arm around her, pulling her so that our heads touched as we sat, side by side, not looking at each other. I didn’t like to have my sister crying, but maybe she just needed to. And maybe I needed to see it. “Well,” I admitted softly, “it hurt. Quite a bit. I didn’t want you to know it. But I’m over that now. I really am.”
“Making up Wyatt…” Her voice trailed off. “I think that might be the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me. And man, I jumped all over that.” She gave a grim laugh. “I kind of suspected he wasn’t real, you know. You had me up until the bit about the feral cats.” She grinned.
I rolled my eyes. “I know.”
Nat sighed. “I guess I didn’t want to know the truth.” We were quiet for a moment. “You know, Grace,” she said softly, “you don’t have to watch out for me anymore. You don’t have to protect me from every sad emotion.”
“Well,” I said, my own eyes filling. “I kind of do. That’s my job. I’m your big sister.”
“Forget the job,” she suggested, reaching out to tuck a wayward strand of frizz behind my ear. “Forget that you’re the big sister. Let’s just be plain old sisters. Equals, okay?”
I looked into the blue, clear sky. Ever since I was four, I’d been watching out for Natalie, admiring her, protecting her. It might be nice, just…just liking her. Instead of adoration, friendship. Equals, like she said.
“Like Margaret,” I mused.
“Oh, God, don’t be like Margaret!” she blurted with mock earnestness, and we both burst into laughter. Then Nat opened her purse and handed me a tissue—of course, she was armed with a cunning little tissue pack with roses on the cover—and we sat for another minute, listening to the mockingbird, holding hands.
“Grace?” she said eventually.
“Yeah?”
“I really liked Callahan.”
Hearing that was like pressing on a bruise to see if it still hurt. It did. “Me, too,” I whispered. She squeezed my hand and had the sense not to say anything else. After a moment, I cleared my throat and glanced around at the restaurant. “Want to get back?”
“Nah,” she said. “Let everyone wonder. Maybe we could fake a cat fight, just for fun.”
I laughed. My Nattie of old. “I missed you,” I admitted.
“I missed you, too. It’s been so hard, wondering if you’re really as okay as you seemed, but afraid to ask. And I’ve been jealous, you know. You and Margs, living together.”
“Oh, well, then, you can take her. You and Andrew,” I said. “For as long as you want.”
“He wouldn’t survive the week.” She grinned.
“Nattie,” I said slowly, “about us being equals…” She nodded encouragingly. “I want you to do me a favor, Nat.”
“Anything,” she said.
I turned a little to better face her. “Nat, I don’t want to be maid of honor tomorrow. Let it be Margaret. I’ll be your bridesmaid, go down the aisle and all that, but not maid of honor. It’s too weird, okay? A little pimp-ish, you know?”
“Okay,” she said instantly. “But make sure Margaret doesn’t roll her eyes and make faces.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t guarantee anything,” I said with a laugh. “But I’ll try.”
Then I stood up and pulled my little sister to her feet. “Let’s go back, okay? I’m starving.”
We held hands all the way back to our table. Mom hopped up like an anxious sparrow when she saw us. “Girls! Is everything all right?”
“Yes, Mom. We’re fine.”
Mrs. Carson rolled her eyes and gave a ladylike snort, and suddenly, our mother wheeled on her. “I’ll thank you to wipe that look off your face, Letitia!” she said, her voice carrying easily through the restaurant. “If you have something to say, speak up!”
“I’m…I don’t…”
“Then stop treating my girls like they’re not good enough for your precious son. And Andrew, let me say this. We only tolerate you because Natalie asked us to. If you screw up any of my girls’ lives again, I will rip out your liver and eat it. Understand me?”
“I…I definitely do understand, Mrs. Emerson,” Andrew said meekly, forgetting that he was supposed to call Mom by her first name.
Mom sat back down, and Dad turned to her. “I love you,” he said, his voice awed.
“Of course you do,” she said briskly. “Is everyone ready to order?”
“I can’t eat beets,” Mémé announced. “They repeat on me.”
WE ALMOST GOT THROUGH the dinner without further incident. In fact, I was trying to resist the urge to lick my bowl clean of crème brûlée when there was a commotion at the front of the restaurant.
“I’m here to see my wife,” came a raised voice. “Now.”
Stuart.
He came into the dining room, dressed in his usual oxford and argyle sweater vest, tan trousers and tasseled loafers, looking like the gentle, sweet man he was. But his face was set, and his eyes, God bless him, were stormy.
“Margaret, this has gone on long enough,” he announced, ignoring the rest of us.
“Hmm,” Margaret said, narrowing her eyes.
“If you don’t want to have a baby, that’s fine. And if you want sex on the kitchen table, you’ll get it.” He glared down at his wife. “But you’re coming home, and you’re coming home now, and I will be happy to discuss this further once you’re naked and in my bed.” He paused. “Or on the table.” His face flushed. “And the next time you leave me, you’d better mean it, woman, because I’m not going to be treated like a doormat. Understand?”
Margaret rose, put her napkin by her plate and turned to me. “Don’t wait up,” she said. Then she took Stuart’s hand and let him lead her through the restaurant, grinning from ear to ear.
Too Good To Be True Too Good To Be True - Kristan Higgins Too Good To Be True