sat at the dining table in my parents’ home and fought the urge to fidget with everything. I clasped my hands on the table and contained the anxiety that I felt within. I hadn’t yet found the courage to tell them that once again I was lifeless, not because I had brushed it under the carpet as I used to do, but because Life disagreed with my decisions and had left me. I had stalked him with phone calls all afternoon in a pretend effort to apologise but really it was to see if we could cancel the family dinner. He hadn’t answered the phone and then after six tries his phone was switched off. I didn’t leave a message; I couldn’t find the words because I wasn’t near sorry enough to beg for his forgiveness and he would sense I wasn’t genuine. It wasn’t a good situation to be in; it was neither funny nor clever. It was one thing to ignore your life yourself, it was quite another for your own life to ignore – then abandon – you. If Life had given up on me, what chance did I have?

The evening was too chilly to eat outside and so Edith had decided to set up the dining room, my parents’ most formal room and used only for special occasions. Initially I had thought she was trying to get me back for stealing her cake and presenting it to Mum as my own home-baked gift, just like the bouquet of flowers last time, but on observing her that evening, I felt she was genuinely excited to meet the extra special guest and wanted him to receive the grandest of Silchester welcomes. Mum hadn’t held back on preparations either as every room leading off the entrance hall had a Waterford Crystal vase filled with fresh flowers, the dining table was cloaked in white linen, the finest silverware was laid out, her hair was freshly blowdried, and she was wearing a pink and turquoise tweed Chanel shift dress and jacket with one of her dozens of pairs of flat pumps. Most people called their dining rooms the dining room, or in some households the kitchen table; we, however, called our dining room the Oak Room. Thanks to our great Literary Writer who came before us, the walls of the dining room were panelled floor to ceiling in oak, and crystal wall lights shone over the expensive eclectic collection of paintings – some abstract, some of men with tweed caps dipped low as they worked the bogs in Mayo.

‘Can I help?’ I asked Mum as she floated into the room for the third time, carrying a sterling silver tray to add to the table of condiments which totalled more than any human being would ever need in a lifetime let alone in one meal. There were tiny silver bowls of mint sauce, mustard – whole-grain and French – olive oil, mayonnaise and ketchup, all with tiny silver spoons displayed beside them.

‘No, dear, you are our guest.’ She surveyed the table. ‘Balsamic?’

‘Mum, it’s fine, really, I think there’s plenty on the table.’

‘He might like some balsamic for that lovely two-bean salad you brought for Mum, Lucy,’ Riley said, stirring it – the tension not the condiments.

‘Yes.’ Mum looked at Riley. ‘You’re right. I’ll get it.’

‘She likes salad,’ I defended my gift to her.

‘And that it came in a plastic container from your work canteen makes it all the more special,’ he smiled.

I hadn’t told them my life wasn’t coming for dinner partly because I didn’t know whether he would show or not but mostly because I rather stupidly thought it wouldn’t make much difference whether or not he turned up. I thought that when the time came I could think of a polite excuse for why he couldn’t make it, but I misjudged it. I hadn’t anticipated such eagerness on their part to be acquainted with my life. There was a buzz in the air, an excitement and surprisingly, almost a nervousness. That was it. My mum was nervous. She was rushing around trying to make sure everything was perfect in an effort to please my life. Edith was too, which astonished me. Technically it was me they were trying to please and I couldn’t help but feel flattered, but mostly I knew I was in trouble. The news wasn’t going to go down well and the later I left it the worse it was going to get.

The gate intercom buzzed and Mum looked at me like a deer caught in headlights. ‘Is my hair okay?’ I was so surprised by her behaviour – Silchesters didn’t get flustered – that I couldn’t answer so she rushed to the gilded mirror above the gigantic marble fireplace and stood on tiptoe to see the top of her head. She licked her finger and stuck a hair down in place. I looked around at the table settings for eight people, and suddenly I was nervous.

‘It may be the carpet man,’ Edith said, trying to calm Mum down.

‘Carpet man? What carpet man?’ I asked, my heartbeat beginning to quicken.

‘Your life friend kindly gave me the number of a carpet company whom he said did wonders in your apartment, though I wish he could have come after the dinner,’ she frowned as she examined the time again. ‘I must say, it was so pleasant speaking to him on the phone, I’m really looking forward to meeting him in person. I know I’m going to love him’ Mum scrunched up her face again and hunched her shoulders at me, lovingly.

‘The carpet man?’

‘No, your life,’ she laughed.

‘What happened to the carpet, Sheila?’ my grandmother asked.

‘Coffee on the Persian rug in the drawing room. Long story but I desperately need it cleaned by tomorrow because Florrie Flanagan is visiting.’ She looked at me. ‘Remember Florrie?’ I shook my head. ‘You do, her daughter Elizabeth just had a baby boy. They called him Oscar. Isn’t that nice?’

I wondered why she never asked Riley whether the birth of any child was ever nice. We heard footsteps coming towards the door. I watched as Mum took a deep breath and smiled in preparation, and I tried to think quickly what to do if either Don or my life walked in the door. I didn’t need to worry as Philip popped his head in the door. Mum exhaled.

‘Oh, it’s you.’

‘Well, thank you for the warm welcome,’ Philip said and as he stepped inside his seven-year-old daughter, Jemima, followed him. She was as serene as always, her face didn’t change, no expression but a calm look around the room and her eyes slightly widened and lit when she saw Riley and me.

‘Jemima,’ Mum said, rushing towards her for a hug. ‘What a lovely surprise.’

‘Mum couldn’t come today so Daddy told me I could visit,’ she said in her soft voice.

Riley cupped his breasts and I tried not to laugh. Philip’s wife Majella had transformed herself over the past ten years so much that there wasn’t a part of her skin that could move voluntarily. Philip was a plastic surgeon and though he claimed it was only ever reconstructive surgery, Riley and I did wonder if it had become cosmetic ‘on the side’ for his wife, something my father would be appalled at. I always felt that as a result of Majella’s surgery, her daughter Jemima, following her lead, was completely without expression. When she was happy, she appeared serene; when she was angry, she was serene. She didn’t frown, didn’t smile too largely, her forehead rarely crumpled, just like her Botoxed mother. Jemima high-fived Riley on the way around the table to me. My grandmother tutted.

‘Hello, Puddle Duck,’ I said, giving her a big hug.

‘Can I sit beside you?’ she asked.

I glanced at my mother who looked confused and started to pick up place names and think aloud in that way that mothers do. Finally she said yes and Jemima sat beside me and Mum returned to adjusting the knives and forks, which were already perfectly laid out. She seemed distracted. Silchesters weren’t distracted.

‘Did the carpet company say who they would be sending out?’

‘I spoke to a man named Roger. He said he didn’t work late in the evenings but his son would come around.’

My heart lifted, then sank, then lifted, bobbing up and down as though it were a buoy in the high seas. Oddly I felt excited to see him, but didn’t want it to be here.

Mum continued to move perfectly placed knives and forks around the table. ‘How are the wedding plans going, Mum?’ Philip asked.

When Mum looked up she had a slightly pained expression but it vanished so quickly I had to question whether it had been there at all.

‘Everything is going very well, thank you. I ordered both your and Riley’s suits. They are sublime. And Lucy, I received your dress measurements from Edith, thank you. I chose a wonderful fabric and I really didn’t want to order it without showing you first.’

I hadn’t sent my dress measurements, that must have been Life, which annoyed me – and it made sense as to why I’d woken up with a measuring tape wrapped around my chest – but I was relieved I could give approval before it was ordered. ‘Thank you.’

‘But the dressmaker told me if I didn’t order it by Monday it wouldn’t be ready on time so I had to tell them to go ahead.’ She looked a little worried. ‘Is that okay? I did call and call but you were busy, probably with … what do we call him, dear?’

‘You don’t have to call him anything,’ I said dismissively, then, gritting my teeth, ‘I’m sure the dress will be lovely.’

Riley chuckled.

‘It will stain,’ my grandmother said, coming alive. ‘Mark my words, that fabric will stain.’ She turned to me, ‘Lucy, we can’t be seated with a guest without knowing his name.’

‘You can call him Cosmo.’

‘What can I call him?’ Riley asked.

Jemima laughed without moving her forehead. An astonishing feat of nature, as she hadn’t a drop of rat poison under her skin.

‘What kind of a name is that?’ my grandmother asked, disgusted.

‘It’s a first name. Cosmo Brown is his full name.’

‘Oh, that’s the man from the film …’ Mum started clicking her fingers as she tried to remember. My grandmother looked at her with further disgust. ‘Donald O’Connor played him in …’ She clicked, clicked, clicked. ‘Singin’ in the Rain!’ she finally said and laughed. Then, full of concern again, ‘He doesn’t have a nut allergy, does he?’

‘Donald O’Connor?’ I asked. ‘I don’t know, I think he passed away some years ago.’

‘From nuts?’ Riley asked.

‘I think it was congestive heart failure,’ Philip said.

‘No, I mean your friend, Cosmo,’ Mum said.

‘Oh no, he’s alive.’

Riley and Philip laughed.

‘I wouldn’t worry about him,’ I said. ‘Isn’t it just nice that we’re all gathered here together, regardless of whether he’s here or not.’

Riley caught the tone and leaned forward to catch my eye. I wouldn’t do it.

On that note Edith rushed into the dining room, her cheeks flushed. ‘Lucy,’ she said gently. ‘I wonder when your friend will arrive. It’s just that the lamb is now ready as Mr Silchester likes it and he has an important phone call at eight p.m.’ I looked at the clock. Life was ten minutes late and father had only allocated thirty minutes for dinner in his schedule.

‘Tell Mr Silchester that he can delay his phone call,’ Mum said sharply which surprised us all, ‘and he can eat his meat a little more well done than usual.’

We were all silent, including my grandmother, which was unheard of.

‘Some things are more important,’ Mum said, straightening her back and the silverware again.

‘Maybe Father can join us now and my friend can catch up with us later. There’s no point in waiting if he’s going to be much later,’ I said to Edith, giving her my emergency-eyes look, which I hoped she would interpret as He’s not coming, heeeelp!

On that note the intercom at the gate buzzed.

‘That’s him,’ Mum said with excitement.

I looked out the window and saw Don’s bright yellow van with the slowly turning flaming red magic carpet that looked like it was on a spit at the gate. I jumped up and pulled the curtains to the three grand windows closed dramatically. ‘I’ll greet him. You all stay here.’

Riley studied me.

‘I want it to be a complete surprise,’ I said, then I ran from the room and closed the door. I was pacing in the entrance hall when Edith came out of the kitchen to join me.

‘What are you up to?’

‘Nothing,’ I said, biting my nails.

‘Lucy Silchester, I have known you all of your life and I know you’re up to no good. I have one minute to fetch your father so I need to know if I should be prepared.’

‘Fine,’ I hissed. ‘My life and I had a fight and he’s not coming today.’

‘Merciful hour.’ Edith held her hands to her head. ‘Why don’t you just tell them?’

‘Why do you think?’ I hissed.

‘So who’s this here?’ We heard the car stop in the drive, the engine cut out.

‘The carpet man,’ I hissed.

‘And why is that bad?’

‘Because I slept with him last night.’

Edith groaned.

‘But I’m in love with someone else.’

She moaned.

‘I think.’

She whined.

‘Oh, God, what am I going to do? Think, think, think, Lucy.’

Then I instantly had a plan. She must have seen it in my face.

‘Lucy,’ she said in a warning tone.

‘Don’t worry.’ I grabbed her hands and held on to them tight. I looked her dead in the eyes. ‘You don’t know anything, nobody told you anything, you are not responsible, it has nothing to do with you, it is all my decision.’

‘How many times in my life have I heard those words?’

‘And isn’t it always okay?’

Edith’s eyes widened. ‘Lucy Silchester, of all the things you have ever done, this is the worst.’

‘They’ll never know. I promise,’ I said in an attempt to calm her.

She whimpered and shuffled off to get my father.

I stepped outside and pulled the front door closed behind me. Don was getting out of his car and he looked up at me in surprise.

‘Hi, welcome to my country retreat,’ I said.

He smiled, but not as widely as he used to. He came up the steps towards me, and suddenly I had an overwhelming desire to kiss him again. I didn’t know what to say but from inside the house I could hear my father’s study door open and his footsteps across the hallway.

‘Lucy is outside greeting him now, sir,’ I could hear Edith saying breathlessly as she tried to catch up with him.

‘Fine. Let’s just get this nonsense over and done with, shall we,’ he said.

We both heard him.

‘I’m sorry about this morning,’ I said, genuinely meaning every word of it.

Don studied me, to see if I genuinely meant every word of it.

‘I told you I was messed up. Not that that makes it any better, but I am. I don’t know what I want. I thought I did. But Life has shown me that I don’t. I don’t have a clue what I’m doing and I need to figure it out. I’m trying to figure it out.’

He nodded, studied me some more. ‘Are you still in love with your ex?’

‘I think so. But I don’t know.’

He was quiet for a moment. ‘Your life told me he might have a new girlfriend.’

‘My life has one?’

‘No, Blake. He told me when you were in the shower.’

‘That’s a very strong possibility.’

He looked around the estate, then back at me. ‘I don’t love you, Lucy.’ He paused. ‘But I do know that I like you. A lot.’

I put my hand on my heart. ‘That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.’

‘I don’t want to be used in some experiment in your life.’

‘You’re not being used.’

‘And I don’t want to be second best.’

‘You’d never be. I just feel like I need to tie up a few loose ends in my life, that’s all.’

He seemed satisfied with that. There was nothing more I could think of to say.

He looked around at the house. ‘Are you nervous about this?’

‘Completely. I haven’t been in a relationship for three years, I’m making every single mistake I could possibly make.’

He smiled. ‘No, I mean, about your life meeting them?’

‘Oh. No. I don’t feel nervous at all. Just physically ill.’

‘It’ll be fine, he’ll do all the talking.’

‘He’s not here and I don’t think he’s coming. I lost my job today and Life isn’t talking to me.’ I swallowed then, realising how deep I was in it.

His eyes widened. ‘Anything I can do to help?’

Everybody was sitting around the table when I poked my head inside the room. Father wasn’t at the head of the table, which surprised me, instead it had been left free for my life.

‘Everybody, I’m very sorry for delaying you; Father, I know you have an important phone call not long from now, we won’t keep you from that but I’d like to introduce you to …’ I opened the door wider and pulled Don inside.

‘This is my family. My family,’ I looked at Don, ‘this is my life.’

He smiled and his dimples took over his face. Then he laughed and I thought there was no way on earth he was going to be able to do this.

‘I’m sorry.’ He stopped laughing. ‘I’m just so honoured to meet you all.’

He held his hand out to Jemima. ‘Hello there.’

‘Jemima,’ she said shyly, taking his hand.

‘Nice to meet you, Jemima.’

Don moved on and my mum hopped up out of her seat. My grandmother didn’t budge, just held her hand out limply.

‘Victoria,’ she said.

‘Lucy’s life,’ he said.

‘Yes.’ She looked him up and down and pulled her hand away.

‘I’m Riley.’ Riley stood up and gave him a firm handshake. ‘I have a jacket just like that.’

‘That’s a co-inky-dinky,’ I said, ushering Don on to my mum.

‘Yes, I left it just out …’ Riley looked out to the closed door in the direction of the hallway. While Don and my mum shook hands, Riley pulled the curtains open. He looked out the window, saw Don’s van and gave me a warning look. I gave one right back and he just looked from Don to me and shook his head and took his seat. Everybody was so busy watching Don, and greeting Don, that they missed our exchange.

‘This is Lucy’s father, Mr Silchester,’ Mum said to Don.

Don looked at me while he made his way to my father. I pursed my lips and tried not to laugh, nervously, while he did the same. Then he took his seat at the head of the table.

‘You have a lovely home,’ he said, looking around. ‘Is this oak?’

‘Yes,’ my mum said, excitedly, ‘We call it the Oak Room.’

‘We’re a creative bunch,’ I said and Don laughed.

‘So tell us, how are you and Lucy getting along?’ Mum asked, hands clasped together.

‘Lucy and I,’ Don looked at me, and my heart quickened, ‘are getting along just famously, thank you. She’s incredibly energetic,’ he said and Riley slid down in his chair slightly. ‘So it takes a lot to keep up with her but I’m just crazy about her,’ he said without taking his eyes off me.

I couldn’t stop looking at him.

‘Isn’t that lovely,’ Mum whispered, not wanting to break the spell. ‘To be in love with life, I can see it on her face. Isn’t that something?’

I snapped out of it then when I realised Mum was staring at me.

‘Yes, well …’ I cleared my throat while I felt all eyes on me and my cheeks blazed. ‘Why don’t we tell him a little something about us?’

‘Well, Mr Silchester and I are renewing our vows,’ Mum said, all excited, ‘Isn’t that right, Samuel?’

My father said a long, lazy and unenthusiastic yes. Don quite understandably assumed it to be a joke and laughed, but as it wasn’t his laugh was misguided and misplaced.

Mum said, a little embarrassed, ‘It’s our thirty-fifth anniversary this year and we thought it would be a nice way to celebrate.’

‘Congratulations,’ Don said politely.

‘Thank you. I’ve asked Lucy to be my bridesmaid. I do hope you will come.’

Don looked at me with amusement. ‘I’m sure Lucy is very excited about that.’

‘Pardon my ignorance on this matter, but how long do you plan on staying around for?’ Mum asked.

‘I’d like to stay around for quite a while,’ Don said and I felt his eyes on me again. ‘But that’s up to Lucy.’

I quickly looked at Riley, who winked at me, and despite my plans to get back with Blake, I couldn’t help but smile.

Edith entered with a trolley of bowls and a giant tureen of soup. She handed out the bowls and began ladling. ‘Courgette and pea,’ she said to Don, then fired me a warning look to let me know she wanted no part of this.

‘Mmm,’ I said, exaggerating. ‘My favourite. Thanks, Edith.’

She ignored me, serving up the soup and leaving me until last.

The intercom buzzed again.

‘That will be the carpet cleaner,’ Mum said and looked to Edith. ‘Edith?’

‘I’ll show him in to the drawing room,’ Edith said, giving me an alarmed look.

I was slightly concerned. If Life had indeed decided to show up, he would not be happy being led into a room with a dirty carpet to clean or with the fact that I’d told a majestic lie. I’d really done it now. But it couldn’t be him, he had deserted me, had left me alone to deal with my family; he would be a lazy foolish Life to back out of that enormous lesson. Unless he sensed a lie, of course, which would mean it was the perfect time for him to arrive, so that I would learn an even greater lesson.

‘Have you been to Lucy’s workplace?’ Philip asked and my heart sank.

‘Yes,’ I interrupted, ‘and actually, funny you should mention that, but I have some news.’ I tried to make it sound positive; gift-wrapping bad news. I needed to say it all in case Life stormed in trying to get me back for this gigantic lie.

‘You got a promotion,’ Mum anticipated excitedly, her voice almost a screech.

‘Actually, no.’ I looked at Don nervously for moral support, then back to my mother. ‘As of today, I no longer work at Mantic.’

She made an oh shape with her mouth.

‘Where do you work instead?’ Riley asked, waiting for the good news.

‘Eh … Nowhere yet.’

‘I’m sorry to hear that but they’ve been haemorrhaging money for years, more job cuts were always on the cards.’

I was grateful to Philip for saying this.

‘Did they offer you a redundancy package?’ Riley asked, concerned.

‘Actually, no, because I left. It was my decision.’

My father slammed his fist down on the table. Everyone jumped, the cutlery and condiment bowls all rattled on the white linen.

‘It’s okay sweetheart,’ Philip said to Jemima, who was wide-eyed and looking at her father in terror – at least I guessed it was terror because her face wasn’t moving much apart from her eyes. I put my arm around her protectively.

‘Is this your doing?’ Father demanded of Don.

‘Maybe we shouldn’t talk about this now,’ I said gently to my father, hoping he’d pick up on my tone.

‘I think this is the perfect time to talk about it,’ he boomed.

‘Jemima, come with me,’ Philip said and he brought her out of the room, to my grandmother’s tutting. When the door opened I saw Edith letting Life into the house. Life looked in and saw me, just as the door was closing.

‘Well, answer me,’ Father said patronisingly to Don.

‘We’re not in the courthouse now,’ I said, under my breath.

‘Don’t you dare speak to me like that in my house.’

I ignored him, I kept eating my soup but everybody was silent and nobody moved an inch. Father rarely lost his temper, he was rarely tipped over the edge but when he was, it was mighty. He had been tipped over the edge now, and I could hear it in his voice; the anger was building too and though I tried to keep calm, I couldn’t help but feel my nerves grow.

‘He had nothing to do with it,’ I said quietly.

‘And why not? Shouldn’t he be responsible for your decisions?’

‘No, because he’s not actually my—’

‘No, that’s okay Lucy,’ Don interrupted. I don’t know if it was because he was afraid or if it was because he wasn’t but when I looked at him I saw no fear at all, just annoyance and the desire to protect.

‘What exactly is your role here?’ my father asked.

‘My role,’ Don looked at me, ‘is to make her happy.’

‘Nonsense.’

‘And when she’s happy she’ll find the right path,’ Don said. ‘I wouldn’t worry about Lucy.’

‘I’ve never heard such absolute nonsense. This is drivel. If, in fact, you are to help her on her right path, aren’t you failing?’

‘And how well do you assess your abilities in your role as her father?’ he said, anger in his voice. He was protecting me but he didn’t know what he was up against. He’d barely met me but I felt he knew me better than anyone at this table. My eyes widened. I can’t believe he said that. I couldn’t look at anybody, I didn’t know what anybody was thinking.

‘How dare you speak to me like that,’ Father shouted and stood up. He was a tall man, and he seemed to be a giant beside us all at the table now that he was standing.

‘Samuel,’ Mum said quietly.

‘Lucy left her job because she wasn’t happy,’ Don continued. ‘I don’t see any harm in that.’

‘Lucy is never happy with work. Lucy is lazy. Lucy will never find anything to which she will feel the need to apply herself. She has never applied herself. She has walked away from everything which, and everyone who, has ever been of any use in her life. She wasted the good education we provided for her, she is living like a pig in a home the size of this room, she is a disappointment and a disgrace to the family name – as, clearly, seeing as you are her life, are you.’

Silchesters don’t cry. Silchesters don’t cry. Silchesters don’t cry. It was a mantra I had to repeat in my mind after each nasty word was spoken but I knew my paranoia was right, it was everything that I thought he felt about me and now he was saying it. To me and to the person he thought was my life but was actually a man that I had feelings for. It was beyond humiliating, it was beyond hurtful, it was the worst thing I think I had ever heard or endured. Worse than Blake leaving me, worse than losing every job I’d ever worked at.

‘I am tired of her behaviour, her constant failure to apply herself. We come from a long line of successes. Here in this very room Philip and Riley have shown themselves to be competent men and hard workers, whereas Lucy here has failed, time and time again, to reach the heights that we have given everything within our abilities for her to reach. Sheila, I have stood back and let the course which you have so believed to be right be carried out, but it is clear to see that when left to her own devices Lucy cannot find direction, so it is left to me to find it for her.’

‘Lucy isn’t a child,’ Don said. ‘She’s a grown woman. I think she’s well able to make her own decisions.’

‘And you, sir,’ my father raised his voice even more, so that I was sure it must be echoing through the valley, ‘are no longer welcome in my home.’

Silence. I could barely breathe.

His chair scraped across the wood as he pushed it back from the table. ‘It was lovely to meet you,’ he said gently. ‘Thank you for your hospitality. Lucy?’

He was asking me to leave with him and I wanted nothing more than to get out of the room but I couldn’t look up. I just couldn’t face anything or anyone. If I stayed still, maybe they’d forget I was there. I felt hot tears about to fall and I couldn’t do it, not in front of him, not in front of anybody, not ever, ever, ever.

‘I’ll show you out,’ my mother said, her voice a whisper. Her chair didn’t scrape on the wood, she lifted it just the appropriate amount in order to prevent that and she quietly left the room. When the door opened I saw Life in the hallway, ashen faced. I had let him down too.

‘Lucy, in my office now, we need to make a plan for you.’

I couldn’t look at anybody.

‘Your father is talking to you,’ my grandmother said.

‘Father, I think you should allow Lucy to finish her dinner and you can discuss it after,’ Riley said firmly.

Allow Lucy. Allow me.

‘Edith can warm it, this is of importance.’

‘Actually, I’m not hungry,’ I said quietly, still looking down at my plate.

‘You’re not a disappointment, Lucy,’ Riley said gently. ‘Father is worried about you, that’s all.’

‘I meant what I said,’ Father said, but he was sitting down now and his voice was no longer booming.

‘None of us think you are a disgrace. Lucy, look at me,’ Riley said again.

I couldn’t. Mum returned to the room but she didn’t sit down; she stayed at the door testing the environment, sticking her toe in to feel the temperature before diving in again.

‘I’m sorry,’ I said, my voice trembling, ‘if I have been such a disappointment to you. Edith, thank you for dinner, sorry I can’t stay.’ I stood up.

‘Sit down,’ my father hissed. It was sharp, like a whip. ‘Sit down at once.’

I paused, then continued to make my way to the door. I couldn’t look at Mum as I passed her by and gently closed the door behind me.

Life and Don stood beside one another in the hallway staring at me.

‘Sorry I’m late,’ Life said. ‘The taxi got lost. Did I miss anything?’

‘Should I tell him where the Persian rug is?’ Don asked.

They both had wicked glints in their eyes but gentleness in their tone. They were trying to cheer me up. They at least made me smile.