oe slowly became aware of his surroundings.

Ronnie’s head was resting on his shoulder, her breath warm against his neck. His own forehead leaned against the wall. And his knees were damned shaky.

He could feel Veronica’s heart beating, hear her soft sigh.

He didn’t want to move. He’d never made love quite like this in his life, and he didn’t want it to end. Of course, it had ended, but as long as they stayed right here, in this same position, these remarkable feelings could linger on.

It was, needless to say, incredibly exhilarating. His future looked so different, so much brighter, with Ronnie in the picture. For the first time in his life, Joe found himself actually considering the possibility of having children. Not for a good long time, of course. He wanted Ronnie all to himself for years and years and years. But down the road, making a baby, creating a new life would be exciting in a way he’d never imagined before. Fifty percent him and fifty percent her, with two hundred percent of their love…

The jeweler’s box he carried in his pocket dug into his ribs and Joe had to laugh. He hadn’t even asked Ronnie to marry him yet, and here he was, practically naming their kids.

“You didn’t have to say that, you know,” she whispered.

She lifted her head and lowered herself to the floor. The spell was broken. Or was it? Joe still felt an incredible warmth in his chest. He used to think it felt like a noose, he realized, but now it was a good feeling, a warmth surrounding his heart, giving him an amazing sense of peace and belonging.

“Didn’t have to say what?” he asked.

Veronica moved away from him slightly, giving him room to adjust his clothes. She was still naked, but she seemed unaware of that as she gazed at him, concern darkening her blue eyes.

“You didn’t have to say that you love me, too,” she said.

Joe froze, hands stilled on the buckle of his belt. Had he actually spoken those words out loud?

“I’d rather that you be honest with me,” she continued. “Don’t say things you don’t mean. Please?”

Veronica turned away, unable to continue looking into Joe’s eyes, unable to keep up the brave front. But, bloody hell, here she’d just spoken of being honest“The truth is, Joe,” she said, her voice shaking slightly, “I’m going to miss you terribly when you’re gone, and—”

Joe drew her into his arms, moving with her so they sat on the sofa, Veronica on his lap. “Who says I’m going anywhere?” he asked softly, smoothing her hair back from her face and kissing her gently on the lips.

Veronica felt her eyes fill with tears. Damn! She blinked them back. “Tomorrow I’m flying to Seattle and you’re—”

He interrupted her with another gentle kiss. “And who says when I said…what I said, that I wasn’t being honest?” He ran his free hand down the curve of her hip and back up again, then cupped her breast. It was impossible not to touch her.

“You love me.” Her disbelief was evident in her voice.

“Is that really so hard to believe?”

Veronica touched the side of his face. “You’re so sweet,” she said. At the mock flare of indignation in his eyes, she added quickly, “I know you don’t think so, but you are. You’re incredibly kind, Joe. And I know you have…feelings for me, but you don’t have to pretend that they’re more than—” She stared down in silence at the small black velvet box Joe pulled from his pocket and held out to her. “What’s this?”

“Open it,” he said. His face looked so serious, so hard. His eyes were so intense.

“I’m afraid to.”

Joe smiled, and it softened his face. “It’s not a grenade,” he said. “Just open it, Ron, will ya?”

Slowly, she took it from him. It was small and square and black and furry. It looked an awful lot like a jeweler’s box. What was he giving her? She couldn’t even begin to imagine the possibilities. Her heart was pounding, she realized. She took a deep breath to steady herself. Then, gazing into Joe’s beautiful eyes, looking for some sort of clue as to what was inside, she opened the box.

She glanced down and her heart stopped. It was a ring. It was an enormous, beautiful, glittering diamond ring.

“Marry me,” Joe said huskily.

“Dear Lord!” Veronica breathed.

As she stared up into his eyes, her expression of shock made Joe smile. “I guess you weren’t expecting this, huh?”

She shook her head.

“Neither was I,” he told her honestly. “But that ring’s not pretend, Ronnie. And neither is what I feel. I…you know…love you—” God, he’d said it and he wasn’t struck by lightning. “And I want to make this thing we have permanent. You follow?”

She was silent. Her eyes were as large as dinner plates as she gazed at him. She was still naked, and he couldn’t have kept from touching her, from stroking her soft skin, if his life depended on it. She was lovely, and he was already uncomfortably aroused again. God, he’d just had the best sex of his life, and already he wanted her again. He couldn’t get enough of her. He never would.

But why wouldn’t she answer? Why wouldn’t she tell him that she wanted to marry him, too?

“Say something, baby.” Joe tried to disguise his insecurity, but knew that he’d failed miserably. It showed in his eyes, in his voice. “The suspense is killing me. Tell me what you think. Good idea? Bad idea? Have I gone crazy, here?”

Veronica was dumbfounded. Joe Catalanotto—Lt. Joe Catalanotto of the U.S. Navy SEALs—wanted to marry her. He’d meant it when he’d said that he loved her. He loved her.

He loved her, and dear Lord, she should be ecstatic. She should be hearing wedding bells and picturing herself in a gorgeous white wedding dress, walking down the aisle of a church to meet this man at the altar. The one man that she truly loved.

But she couldn’t picture herself at a wedding. She could only see herself at a funeral. Joe’s funeral.

“When…” she started, then cleared her throat. She shivered slightly, suddenly aware of the chill of the air-conditioning against her bare skin. Joe ran his hand up and down her arm, trying to warm her. “When are you planning to retire?”

He stared at her blankly. “What?”

“From the SEALs,” she explained. “When are you going to retire from active duty?”

Veronica could see that he didn’t get how this pertained to his wedding proposal, but he shrugged and answered her anyway. “Not for a long time,” he said. “I don’t know. Not for another fifteen years. Twenty if I can manage it.”

Her heart sank. Fifteen or twenty years. Two decades of watching the man she loved leave on countless high-risk missions. Two decades of not knowing whether or not he would return. Two decades of sheer hell. If he lived that long…

“I’m career navy, Ronnie,” Joe said quietly. “I know I’m no prince, but I am an officer and—”

“You are a prince.” Veronica kissed him swiftly on the lips. “I’ve never met anyone even half as princely as you are.”

He was embarrassed. So of course, he tried to turn it into a joke. “Well, damn,” he said. “All the naked women tell me that whenever I get them on my lap.”

Veronica had to smile. “I am naked,” she said. “Aren’t I?”

“I noticed,” he said, lightly touching her breast.

“Do you want me to put on some clothes?”

“I was thinking more along the lines that I should get rid of mine,” Joe murmured, bringing his lips to where his hand had just been. But he only kissed her gently before lifting his head again. “Try it on.”

The ring. He meant the ring.

She knew she shouldn’t. She had no idea what her answer was going to be. She was so utterly, totally torn.

Still, Veronica took the ring from the box and slipped it onto her left hand. It was a little bit too large.

“Say the word, and we can get it sized,” Joe said. “Or, if you want, you can pick out something different.”

Veronica looked at the ring’s simple, elegant setting through a haze of tears. “This is so beautiful,” she said. “I wouldn’t want anything else.”

“When I saw it,” Joe said quietly, “I knew it belonged to you.” He lifted her chin up toward him. “Hey. Hey, are you crying?”

Veronica nodded her head, yes, and he drew her even closer to him. He pulled her mouth to his and kissed her sweetly. She wanted so very much to tell him, “Yes, I’ll marry you.” But she wanted to go to bed every night with him beside her. And she wanted to wake up every morning knowing that he was going to be there again the next night. She didn’t want a Navy SEAL, she wanted a regular, normal man.

But maybe if she asked, he’d leave the SEALs. Lord knows, he could do damn near anything, get any kind of job he wanted. He was an expert in so many different fields. He could work as a translator. Or he could work as a mechanic, she didn’t care. Let him get covered with engine grease every day. She’d learn to do the bloody laundry if that’s what it took. She just wanted to know that he would be safe. And alive.

But Veronica knew she couldn’t ask him to leave the SEALs. And even if she did ask him, she knew that he wouldn’t quit. Not for her. Not for anything. She’d seen him at work. He loved the risk, lived for the danger.

“Please, Joe,” she whispered. “Make love to me again.”

He stood, holding her in his arms, and carried her into the bedroom.

Veronica wanted desperately to marry Joe. But Joe was already married—to the Navy SEALs.

As Veronica slept, curled up next to him in the bed, Joe stared at the ceiling.

She hadn’t said yes.

He’d asked her to marry him, and she’d asked him a bunch of questions in return, but she hadn’t said yes.

She hadn’t said no, either. But she’d taken off the ring and put it back in the box. She gave him some excuse about how she was afraid it was going to fall off. She was afraid she was going to lose it.

But if Ronnie had given him any kind of ring that meant that she wanted him forever, that she loved him “till death do us part,” Joe would damn sure be wearing it, regardless of the size.

It was entirely possible that he was heading full steam ahead into an emotional train wreck. It was entirely possible that although Veronica had said that she loved him, she didn’t love him enough to want “forever.” Hell, it was entirely possible that although she had said she loved him, she didn’t love him at all.

But no. He had to believe that she loved him. He’d seen it in her eyes, felt it in her touch. She did love him. The sixty-four-thousand-dollar question was, how much?

Across the room, from the chair where he’d thrown his clothes, his pocket pager shrilled.

Joe extracted himself from the bed, trying not to wake Veronica, but as he moved swiftly across the room, she stirred and sat up.

“What was that?” she asked.

“My pager,” he said. “I’m sorry. I’ve got to make a phone call.”

Veronica leaned forward and snapped on the light, squinting at him in the sudden brightness. As she watched, he sat back down on the edge of the bed, running his fingers through his short hair before he picked up the telephone. He quickly dialed—a number he had memorized.

“Yeah,” he said into the phone. “Catalanotto.” There was a pause. “I’m still in Phoenix.” Another pause. “Yeah. Yeah, I understand.” He glanced back at Veronica, his face serious. “Give me three minutes, and I’ll call right back.” Another pause. He smiled. “Right. Thanks.”

He dropped the receiver into the cradle and faced Veronica.

“I can get a week’s leave, if I want it,” he said bluntly. “But I need to know right now if I should take it. And I don’t want to take it if you can’t spend the time with me. Do you know what I’m saying?”

Veronica glanced at the clock. “You get called at four-thirty in the morning about whether or not you want leave?” she asked in dismay.

Joe shook his head. “No,” he replied. “I get called and ordered to report to the base at Little Creek. There’s some kind of emergency. They’re calling in all of SEAL Team Ten, including the Alpha Squad.”

Veronica felt faint. “What kind of emergency?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “But even if I did know, I couldn’t say.”

“If we were married, could you tell me?”

Joe smiled ruefully. “No, baby. Not even then.”

“So you just pack up and leave,” Veronica said tightly, “and maybe you’ll come back?”

He reached for her. “I’ll always come back. You gotta believe that.”

She sat up, moving out of reach, keeping her back to him so that he couldn’t see the look on her face. This was her worst nightmare, coming true. This was what she didn’t want to spend the next twenty years doing. This fear, this emptiness was exactly what she didn’t want to spend the next two decades feeling.

“I either have to officially take leave, or go check in with the rest of the team. What do you think?” he asked again. “Can you get time off, too?”

Veronica shook her head. “No.” Funny, her voice sounded so cool and in control. “No, I’m sorry, but I have to be on the cruise ship with Prince Tedric, starting tomorrow.”

She could feel his eyes on the back of her head. She sensed his hesitation before he turned back to the telephone.

He picked it up and dialed. “Yeah, it’s Joe Cat again. I’m in.”

Veronica closed her eyes. He was in. But in for what? Something that was going to get him killed? She couldn’t stand it. Not knowing where he was going, what he’d be doing, was awful. She wanted to scream —

“Right,” he said into the phone. “I’ll be ready.”

He hung up the phone, and she felt the mattress shift as he stood.

“I have to take a quick shower,” he said. “There’s a car coming in ten minutes.”

Veronica spun around to face him. “Ten minutes!”

“That’s how it works, Ronnie. I get a call, I have to leave. Right away. Sometimes we get preparation time, but usually not. Let me take a shower—we can talk while I’m getting dressed.”

Veronica felt numb. This wasn’t her worst nightmare. This fear she felt deep in her stomach was beyond anything she’d ever imagined. She wanted to tell him, beg him to take the leave. She would quit her job if she had to. She would do anything, anything to keep him from going on that unnamed, unidentified, probably deadly emergency mission.

And then what? she wondered as she heard the sound of the shower. She stood and slipped into her robe, suddenly feeling terribly chilled. She would lose her job, her reputation, her pride, for one measly week of Joe’s company. But after that week of leave was up, he would be gone. He’d go where duty called, when duty called, no matter the danger or risk. Sooner or later it would happen. Sooner or later—and probably sooner—he was going to kiss her goodbye, leaving her with her heart in her throat. He would leave her alone, watching the clock, waiting, praying for him to return. Alive. And he wouldn’t come back.

Veronica couldn’t stand it. She wouldn’t be able to stand it.

The water shut off, and several moments later Joe came out of the bathroom, toweling himself dry. She watched silently as he slipped on his briefs and then his pants.

“So,” he said, rubbing his hair with the towel one last time, glancing over at her. “Tell me when you’ll be done with the Ustanzian tour. I’ll try to arrange leave.”

“It won’t be for another two or three weeks,” Veronica said. “After the cruise, we’ll be heading back to D.C., and then to Ustanzia from there. By then, Wila will have had the baby, and—” She broke off, turning away from him. Why were they having this seemingly normal-sounding conversation, when every cell in her body was screaming for her to hold him—hold him and never let go? But she couldn’t hold him. A car was coming in five minutes to take him away, maybe forever.

“Okay,” Joe was saying. She could hear him slipping his arms into his jacket and buttoning it closed. “What do you say I meet you in Ustanzia? Just let me know the exact dates and—”

Veronica shook her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Okay,” he said again, very quietly. “What is a good idea, Ronnie? You tell me.‘’

He wasn’t moving now. Veronica knew even without looking that he was standing there, his lean face unsmiling, his dark eyes intense as he watched her, waiting for her to move, to speak, to do something, anything.

“I don’t have any good ideas.”

“You don’t want to marry me.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement.

Veronica didn’t move, didn’t say anything. What could she possibly say?

Joe laughed—a brief burst of air that had nothing to do with humor. “Hell, from the way it sounds, you don’t even want to see me again.”

She turned toward him, but she wasn’t prepared for the chill that was in his eyes.

“Boy, did I have you pegged wrong,” he said.

“You don’t understand,” Veronica tried to explain. “I can’t live the way you want me to live. I can’t take it, Joe.”

He turned away, and she moved forward, stopping him with a hand on his arm. “We come from such different worlds,” she said. His world was filled with danger and violence and the ever-present risk of death. Why couldn’t he see the differences between them? “I can’t just… pretend to fit into your world, because I know I won’t. And I know you won’t fit into mine. You can’t change any more than I can, and—”

Joe pulled away. His head was spinning. Different worlds. Different classes was more like it. God, he should have known better. What was he thinking? How could he have thought a woman like Veronica St. John—a wealthy, high-class, gentrified lady—would want more from him than a short, steamy affair?

He’d been right—she’d been slumming.

That was all this was to her.

She had been slumming. She had been checking out how the lower class lived. She had been having sex with a blue-collar man. Officer or not, that was what Joe was, what he would always be. That was where he came from.

Veronica was getting her hands dirty, and Joe, he’d gone and fallen in love. God, he was a royal idiot, a horse’s ass.

He took the ring box from where it still sat on the bedside table and dropped it into his pocket. Damned if he was going to let her walk away with a ring that had put a serious dent into his life savings.

“Try to understand,” Veronica said, her eyes swimming with tears. She stood in front of the door, blocking his exit. “I love you, but… I can’t marry you.‘’

And all at once Joe did understand. She may have been slumming—at first. But she’d fallen in love with him, too. Still, that love wasn’t enough to overcome the differences between their two “worlds” as she called it.

He should walk away. He knew he should walk away. But instead he touched her face and brushed his thumb across her beautiful lips. And then he did something he’d never done before. He begged.

“Please, Ronnie,” Joe said softly. “This thing between us…it’s pretty powerful. Please, baby, can’t we try to work this out?”

Veronica stared up into Joe’s eyes, and for a second, she almost believed that they could.

But then his pager beeped again, and the fear was back. Joe had to go. Now. Reality hit her hard and she felt sick to her stomach. She turned and moved away from the door.

“That’s your answer, huh?” he said quietly.

Veronica kept her back to him. She couldn’t speak. And she couldn’t bear to watch him leave.

She heard him open the bedroom door. She heard him walk through the hotel suite. And she heard him stop, heard him hesitate before he opened the door to the corridor.

“I thought you were tougher than this, Ron,” he said, a catch in his voice.

The door clicked quietly as it closed behind him.