Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Attributed to Groucho Marx
ePub
A4Chapter 12: A Meeting
A
nybody would think we had threeganders, three geese, and twenty-one
goslings. Sheep?"
"He-aa-aa!" answered the sheep all
together.
"Lambs?"
"He-aa-aa!" answered the lambs all
together.
"Templeton?"
No answer.
"Templeton?"
No answer.
"Well, we are all here except the
rat," said Charlotte. "I guess we can
proceed without him. Now, all of you
must have noticed what's been going on
around here the last few days. The
message I wrote in my web, praising
Wilbur, has been received. The
Zuckermans have fallen for it, and so has
everybody else. Zuckerman thinks
Wilbur is an unusual pig, and therefore
he won't want to kill him and eat him. I
dare say my trick will work and
Wilbur's life can be saved.
"Hurray!" cried everybody.
"Thank you very much," said
Charlotte. "Now I called this meeting in
order to get suggestions. I need new
ideas for the web. People are already
getting sick of reading the words 'Some
Pig!". If anybody can think of another
message, or remark, I'll be glad to
weave it into the web. Any suggestions
for a new slogan?"
"How about 'Pig Supreme'?" asked
one of the lambs.
"No good," said Charlotte. "It
sounds like a rich dessert."
"How about 'Terrific, terrific,
terrific'?" asked the goose.
"Cut that down to one 'terrific' and
it will do very nicely," said Charlotte. "I
think 'terrific' might impress
Zuckerman."
"But Charlotte," said Wilbur, "I'm
not terrific."
"That doesn't make a particle of
difference," replied Charlotte. "Not a
particle. People believe almost anything
they see in print. Does anybody here
know how to spell 'terrific'?"
"I think," said the gander, "it's tee
double ee double rr double rr double
eye double ff double eye double see see
see see see."
"What kind of an acrobat do you
think I am?" said Charlotte in disgust. "I
would have to have St. Vitus's Dance to
weave a word like that into my web."
"Sorry, sorry, sorry," said the
gander.
Then the oldest sheep spoke up. "I
agree that there should be something new
written in the web if Wilbur's life is to
be saved. And if Charlotte needs help in
finding words, I think she can get it from
our friend Templeton. The rat visits the
dump regularly and has access to old
magazines. He can tear out bits of
advertisements and bring them up here to
the barn cellar, so that Charlotte can
have something to copy."
"Good idea," said Charlotte. "But
I'm not sure Templeton will be willing to
help. You know how he is - always
looking out for himself, never thinking of
the other fellow."
"I bet I can get him to help," said
the old sheep. "I'll appeal to his baser
instincts, of which he has plenty. Here he
comes now. Everybody keep quiet while
I put the matter up to him!"
The rat entered the barn the way he
always did - creeping along close to the
wall.
"What's up?" he asked, seeing the
animals assembled.
"We're holding a directors'
meeting," replied the old sheep.
"Well, break it up! " said
Templeton. "Meetings bore me."
And the rat began to climb a rope
that hung against the wall.
"Look," said the old sheep, "next
time you go to the dump, Templeton,
bring back a clipping from a magazine.
Charlotte needs new ideas so she can
write messages in her web and save
Wilbur's life."
"Let him die," said the rat. "I should
worry."
"You'll worry all right when next
winter comes," said the sheep. "You'll
worry all right on a zero morning next
January when Wilbur is dead and
nobody comes down here with a nice
pail of warm slops to pour into the
trough. Wilbur's leftover food is your
chief source of supply, Templeton. You
know that. Wilbur's food is your food;
therefore Wilbur's destiny and your
destiny are closely linked. If Wilbur is
killed and his trough stands empty day
after day, you'll grow so thin we can
look right through your stomach and see
objects on the other side."
Templeton's whiskers quivered.
"Maybe you're right," he said
gruffly. "I'm making a trip to the dump
tomorrow afternoon. I'll bring back a
magazine clipping if I can find one."
"Thanks," said Charlotte. "The
meeting is now adjourned. I have a busy
evening ahead of me. I've got to tear my
web apart and write 'Terrific.' "
Wilbur blushed. "But I'm not
terrific, Charlotte. I'm just about average
for a pig."
"You're terrific as far as I'm
concerned," replied Charlotte, sweetly,
"and that's what counts. You're my best
friend, and I think you're sensational.
Now stop arguing and go get some
sleep!"
