To love is to admire with the heart:

to admire is to love with the mind.

Theophile Gautier

 
 
 
 
 
Tác giả: Jennifer Probst
Thể loại: Tiểu Thuyết
Biên tập: Bach Ly Bang
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Language: English
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Cập nhật: 2015-08-20 21:12:51 +0700
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Chapter 3
lexa squirmed in her seat as the silence in the black BMW stretched between them. Her husband-to-be seemed just as uncomfortable, and chose to focus his energy into his MP3 player. She tried not to wince when he finally settled on Mozart. He actually enjoyed music without words. She almost shuddered again when she thought of sharing the same residence with him.
For. An. Entire. Year.
“Do you have any Black Eyed Peas?”
He looked puzzled by the question. “To eat?”
She held back a groan. “I’ll even settle for some of the old classics. Sinatra, Bennett, Martin.”
He remained silent.
“Eagles? Beatles? Just yell if any of these names sound familiar.”
His shoulders stiffened. “I know who they are. Would you prefer Beethoven?”
“Forget it.”
They veered back to silence with a piano background. Alexa knew they were both nervous as the miles to her parents’ house shortened. Playing the loving couple wouldn’t be easy when they couldn’t even carry on a two-minute conversation. She decided to try again.
“Maggie says you have a fish.”
That remark rewarded her with a chilling look. “Yes.”
“What’s his name?”
“Fish.”
She blinked. “You didn’t even give it a name?”
“Did I commit a crime?”
“Don’t you know animals have feelings just like people?”
“I don’t like animals,” he said.
“Why? Are you afraid of them?”
“Of course not.”
“You were afraid of that snake we found in the woods. Remember how you wouldn’t get close, and you made some excuse to leave?”
The air in the car seemed to drop a few degrees. “I wasn’t afraid, I just didn’t care. I told you I don’t like animals.”
She gave a snort, then settled back to silence. Cross another quality from her list. Earth Mother sucked. Alexa decided not to tell her future husband about the humane animal shelters. When they were overbooked, she always took the extra animals into her house until new spots opened up. Something told her Nick would have a fit. If he ever got up enough emotion to lose control.
The possibility intrigued her.
“What are you smiling about?” he asked.
“Nothing. Do you remember everything we discussed?”
He gave a suffering sigh. “Yes. We went over all your family members in detail. I know names and general backgrounds. For God’s sakes, Alexa, I used to play at your house when we were younger.”
She snorted. “You only wanted my mother’s chocolate chip cookies. And you loved torturing me and your sister. Besides, that was years ago. You’ve had nothing to do with them over the past decade.” She tried hard to bite back the bitterness, but the ease with which Nick had shed his past without a glance back left her a bit pissed off. “Speaking of which, you never mention your parents. Have you seen your father lately?”
She wondered if it was possible to get frostbite from the chill he emanated. “No.”
She waited for more but nothing came. “How about your mom? Did she remarry?”
“No. I don’t want to talk about my parents. There’s no point.”
“Wonderful. What are we supposed to tell my family about them? They’ll ask.”
His words were clipped. “Tell them my father’s lounging in Mexico and my mother is off somewhere with her new boyfriend. Tell them whatever you want. They won’t be at the wedding anyway.”
She opened her mouth but his warning glare told her this conversation was over. Great. She just adored his chattiness.
Alexa pointed toward the upcoming street sign. “Here’s the turn for my parents’.”
Nick pulled into the circular driveway and cut the engine. They both studied the white Victorian house. Even from outside, the structure radiated friendly warmth from each classic pillar to the graceful wraparound porch. Weeping willow trees surrounded the edges of the sloping lawn almost as in protection. Large picture windows with black shutters dotted the front. Darkness now veiled the symptoms of neglect due to financial difficulties. It hid the peeling white paint on the columns, the cracked step at the top of the patio, the worn roof. She gave a deep sigh as the home of her childhood settled around her like a comforting blanket.
“Are we ready?” he asked.
She glanced at him. His face was shuttered, his eyes distant. He looked hip and casual in his khaki Dockers, white Calvin Klein T-shirt, and leather boat shoes. His sun-bleached hair was neatly tamed except for one stubborn curl over his brow. His chest filled the shirt out nicely. A little too nicely for her taste. Obviously, he lifted weights. She wondered if he had a washboard stomach, but the thought did bad things to her own tummy so she pushed away the idea and concentrated on their immediate problem.
“You look like you stepped in a pile of dog doo.”
His neutral expression slipped. The corner of his mouth kicked up an inch. “Hmmm, Maggie said you wrote poetry.”
“We’re supposed to be madly in love. If they suspect otherwise, I can’t marry you, and my mother would make my life a living hell. So put on a good act. Oh, and don’t be afraid to touch me. I promise I don’t have cooties.”
“I’m not afraid to—”
His breath hissed as she reached out and brushed the errant curl away from his eyes. The silky feel of his hair as it slid through her fingers pleased her. The shocked expression on his face tempted her to continue the caress by sliding the back of her hand down his cheek with one slow motion. His skin felt both smooth and rough to the touch.
“See? No big deal.”
His full lips tightened with what she figured was annoyance. Obviously, Nick Ryan looked at her not as a grown woman, but more of an asexual human being. Like an amoeba.
She flung open the door and cut off his response. “Show time.”
He muttered something under his breath and followed her.
They didn’t have to worry about ringing the doorbell. Her family streamed out the door one by one, until the front porch overflowed with her screeching sisters and two appraising males. Alexa had already called ahead to warn them of her engagement. She’d come up with a story about seeing Nick on the sly, a whirlwind romance, and an impulsive engagement. She played up their past so her parents believed they had always been in touch over the years as friends.
Nick tried to huddle back but her sisters refused to comply. Isabella and Genevieve launched themselves into his arms for a big hug, chattering at once.
“Congratulations!”
“Welcome to the family!”
“Izzy, I told you he’d turn out to be gorgeous. How awesome is this? Childhood friends and now husband and wife!”
“Did you set a wedding date?”
“Can I be in the bridal party?”
Nick looked as if he was about to vault over the porch and make his escape.
Alexa collapsed into laughter. She cut off her younger twin sisters by pulling them to her for a hug. “Stop scaring him, guys. I finally got a fiancé. Don’t ruin this for me.”
They giggled. A double vision of two sixteen-year-old girls with chocolate hair, navy eyes, and long skinny legs stood before her. One had braces, one didn’t. Alexa bet their teachers were grateful for the distinction. Her sisters were full of mischief and loved playing the switch game.
A demanding squeal pulled her attention away. She lifted up the blonde angel at her feet and covered her three-year-old niece with kisses. “Taylor, the Troublemaker,” she said, “meet Nick Ryan. Uncle Nick to you, squirt.”
Taylor looked him over with the careful attentiveness only a child exudes. Nick awaited her opinion with patience. Then her face broke in a sunny smile. “Hi, Nick!”
He smiled back. “Hi, Taylor.”
“Approval bestowed,” Alexa said. She urged Nick over. “Let me make the rest of the introductions. My twin sisters, Isabella and Genevieve, now all grown up and out of diapers.” She ignored their dual groans and grinned. “My sister-in-law, Gina, and you know my brother Lance and my parents. Everyone, this is Nick Ryan, my fiancé.”
She didn’t even stumble over the word.
Her mother grabbed Nick’s cheeks and gave him a smacking kiss. “Nicky, you’re all grown up.” She flung out her arms in welcome. “And you’re so handsome.”
Alexa wondered if that was a hint of red on Nick’s cheeks, then dismissed the thought.
He cleared his throat. “Umm, thank you, Mrs. McKenzie. It’s been a long time.”
Lance gave him a friendly punch in the shoulder. “Hey, Nick, haven’t seen you in centuries. Now I hear you’re going to be part of the family. Congrats.”
“Thanks.”
Her father walked over and stuck out his hand. “Call me Jim,” he said. “I remember you used to torture my little girl on many occasions. I think her first official curse word came out with you in mind.”
“I think I still have that effect,” Nick said wryly.
Her father laughed. Gina broke out of Lance’s embrace to give him a big hug. “Now maybe I’ll have someone to even out the odds around here,” she said. Her green eyes sparkled. “You can get outnumbered in family meetings.”
Alexa laughed. “He’s still a man, Gina. Trust me, he’ll take Lance’s side every time.”
Lance grabbed his wife back and wrapped his arms around her waist. “The odds are turning, baby. I finally got another man in the house to battle all the PMS.”
Alexa punched his arm. Gina punched the other one.
Maria clucked her tongue. “Lancelot, men do not speak like that with ladies around.”
“What ladies?”
Maria swatted him on the backside. “Everyone inside. We’ll have a champagne toast, eat, and then have some good espresso.”
“Can I have champagne?”
“Me, too?”
Maria shook her head at the two girls begging at her feet. “You’ll have sparkling apple cider. I bought a bottle for this occasion.”
“Me too! Me too!”
Alexa smiled down at the shiny-eyed toddler in her arms. “Okay, squirt. Apple juice for you, too.” She placed her niece back on the ground and watched her race to the kitchen to get in on all the excitement. The embracing warmth of her clan settled around her like a fuzzy cloak, and fought with the nerves jumping in her belly.
Could she pull this off? Casting a love spell to meet a nameless, faceless man with money to bail out her family was one thing. Nick Ryan in the flesh for one full year was another. If her parents suspected she had made a marriage bargain to save the house, they’d never forgive her. Or themselves. With the steady stream of medical bills from his heart condition, family pride pushed them to refuse any financial help from others. Knowing their daughter sacrificed her integrity to bail them out would break their hearts.
Nick watched her with a strange expression on his face, as if trying to figure something out. Her fingers clenched to keep from reaching out to touch him. “You okay?” she asked.
“I’m fine. Let’s go in.”
She watched him walk inside and tried not to feel hurt by his clipped words. He’d already warned her he didn’t like big families. She shouldn’t be childish by taking his actions so personally.
She stiffened her resolve and her chin and followed him. The hours passed with hearty Italian lasagna, fresh garlic bread with cheese and herbs, and a bottle of Chianti. By the time they retired to the living room for espresso and Sambuca, a nice buzz hummed in her blood, fueled by good food and good conversation. She glanced up at Nick as he settled himself next to her on the worn beige sofa at a careful distance.
Misery etched out his features.
He listened politely, laughed in the right places, and did a perfect job of looking like a gentleman. Except he wouldn’t look her in the eye, moved away when she tried to touch him, and wasn’t acting at all like the besotted fiancé he was supposed to be.
Jim McKenzie sipped his espresso with a casual demeanor. “So, Nick, tell me about your job.”
“Dad—”
“No, it’s okay.” Nick turned to face her father. “Dreamscape is an architectural firm that designs buildings in the Hudson Valley. We designed the Japanese restaurant at the top of the mountain in Suffern.”
Her father’s face lit up. “Wonderful place to eat. Maria always loved the gardens there.” He paused. “So, what do you think of Alexa’s paintings?”
She hid a wince. Oh, God, this was bad. Very bad. Her painting was a futile attempt at artistic expression, and most agreed they sucked. She painted more for her own therapy than to wow others. She cursed herself for not letting him pick her up at the apartment instead of her bookstore. As an alcoholic counselor, Jim honed in on weaknesses like a trained vulture and now he scented blood.
Nick kept the smile pasted on. “They’re fantastic. I’ve always told her she should hang them in a gallery.”
Jim’s crossed his arms. “You like them, huh? Which one do you like the most?”
“Dad—”
“The landscape one. Definitely puts you right at the scene.”
Panic flirted with her slight drunken buzz as her father caught the tension between them and stalked him like a predator. She gave Nick credit for trying but he was doomed before he began. The rest of her family knew the drill and watched the process begin.
“She doesn’t paint landscapes.” The words hung in the air like a cannon blast.
Nick’s smile never faltered. “She just tried her hand at landscapes. Darling, didn’t you tell them?”
She fought back panic. “No, sorry, Dad, I haven’t brought you up to speed. I’m painting mountain landscapes now.”
“You hate landscapes.”
“Not anymore,” she managed cheerily. “I have a new appreciation for landscapes since meeting an architect.”
Her comment only elicited a snort before he continued. “So, Nick, baseball fan or football?”
“Both.”
“Great season for the Giants, huh? I’m hoping for another New York Super Bowl. Hey, have you read Alexa’s new poem?”
“Which one?”
“The one about the rainstorm.”
“Oh, yes. I thought it was wonderful.”
“She never wrote a poem about a rainstorm. She writes about experiences in life relating to love or loss. She’s never written a nature poem, just as she’s never painted a landscape.”
Alexa chugged the rest of her Sambuca, ignored the espresso, and hoped the liquor got her through the evening. “Umm, Dad, I just wrote one about a rainstorm.”
“Really? Would you recite it for us? Your mother and I haven’t heard some of your new work.”
She swallowed. “Well, it’s still in creation mode. I’ll definitely share as soon as it’s perfect.”
“But you let Nick see it.”
Sickness clawed at her gut, and she prayed for escape. Her palms grew damp. “Yes. Well, Nick, maybe we better get going. It’s late and I have a lot of wedding plans to get together.”
Jim put his elbows on his knees. The circling stopped and he launched in for the kill. The rest of the family watched with impending doom. The sympathetic look on her brother’s face told her he didn’t think there’d be a wedding any longer. He wrapped his arms around his wife’s waist as if reliving his own horror when he’d announced she was pregnant and they were getting married. Taylor busied herself with Legos and ignored the crisis.
“I meant to ask you about the wedding,” Jim said. “You’re putting it together in a week. Why not give everyone some time to get to know Nick and welcome him into the family? Why the rush?”
Nick tried to save them both. “I understand, Jim, but Alexa and I talked about this and we both don’t want a big fuss. We decided we want to be together and start our lives right away.”
“It’s romantic, Dad,” Izzy ventured.
Alexa mouthed a thank you but she was suddenly double-teamed.
“I agree.” Maria held a dishtowel in her hands as she stood in the doorway of the kitchen. “Let us enjoy the wedding. We’d love to throw you an engagement party so Nick can meet the rest of the family. There’s just not time for everyone to come down on Saturday. All your cousins will miss out.”
Jim stood. “Then it’s settled. You’ll postpone the date.”
Maria nodded. “Excellent idea.”
Alexa grabbed Nick’s hand. “Darling, can I see you in the bedroom for a second?”
“Of course, dear.”
She dragged him down the hallway and pushed him into the bedroom. The door swung partially closed. “You’ve ruined everything,” she whispered furiously. “I told you to pretend but you suck at it and now my parents know we’re not in love!”
“I suck at it? You’re acting like this is some stupid play you’ve put together for the neighbors. This is real life, and I’m doing the best I can.”
“My plays were not stupid. We made a lot of money in admission tickets. I thought Annie was excellent.”
He snorted. “You can’t even sing and you cast yourself as Annie.”
“You’re still pissed because I wouldn’t let you play Daddy Warbucks.”
He plowed ten fingers through his hair and made a noise deep in his throat. “How the hell do you get me on these ridiculous subjects?”
“You better come up with something quick. God, don’t you know how to treat a girlfriend? You acted like I was some polite stranger. No wonder my father suspects!”
“You’re a grown up now, Alexa, and he’s still interrogating your boyfriends. We don’t need their permission. We get married on Saturday and if your parents don’t like it, too bad.”
“I want my father to walk me down the aisle!”
“It’s not even a real wedding!”
“It’s the best I’m going to get right now!” The grief leaked out for one moment as the truth of her predicament hit full force. This would never be a real marriage, and something would be forever ruined once Nick’s ring slipped onto her finger. She’d always dreamed of love everlasting, white picket fences, and tons of children. Instead, she got cold hard cash and a husband who politely tolerated her. She’d be damned if her sacrifice failed because of his inability to fake enough emotion for her parents.
She stood on tiptoe and grabbed the upper arms of his T-shirt. Her nails dug into the fabric and cut flesh. “You better fix this,” she hissed.
“What do you want me to do?”
She blinked. Her lip trembled as she bit out the words. “Do something, damn it! Prove to my father this will be a real marriage or—”
“Alexa?” The echo of her name drifted into the open door from the hallway, her mother’s gentle, concerned voice checking if they were okay.
“Your mother’s coming,” he said.
“I know—she probably heard us arguing. Do something!”
“What?”
“Anything!”
“Fine!” He grabbed her around the waist, dragged her body flush against his, and ducked his head. His lips crushed hers as his hands wrapped around her tightly so they were plastered against each other, hip to hip, thigh to thigh, breasts to chest.
The breath whooshed out of her lungs and she swayed as her feet cut out on her. She expected a precise, controlled kiss to calmly show her mother they were lovers. Instead she got hot testosterone and raw sexual energy. She got warm lips melded over hers. His teeth nipped. His tongue burrowed inside and plunged in and out with sheer command, bending her back over his arm to take every last drop of her resolve.
She hung on and gave it all back. Ravenous for his touch, she got drunk on his musky scent and taste, reveled in the hard length of his body as animal heat rose between them and pushed them over the edge.
She moaned deep in her throat. He slid his fingers into the heavy weight of her hair to hold her head still as he continued the sensual invasion. Her breasts grew heavy and full, and liquid heat pulsed between her thighs.
“Alexa, I—oh!”
Nick ripped his mouth from hers. Dazed, Alexa searched his face for some sign of emotion, but he focused on her mother. “I’m sorry, Maria.” His grin was wry and totally male.
Maria laughed and looked at her daughter, still snug in his arms. “Sorry to interrupt. Come join us when you’re finished.”
Alexa heard footsteps retreating. Slowly, Nick’s gaze traveled downward.
She shuddered. She expected to see a fog of passion. Instead, his chestnut eyes were clear. His face seemed calm. If not for the hard length pressed against her thigh, Alexa would have thought the kiss hadn’t affected him. She was dragged back to another time and place, deep in the woods, when her thoughts were freely spoken and her trust shattered. The first touch of his lips over hers, the boyish scent of cologne rising to her nostrils, the gentle bite of his fingers on her hips as he held her.
Icy fear trickled down her spine. If he laughed at her again, she’d call off the whole thing. If he laughed…
His arms released her and he stepped back. Silence surged between them like a heavy wave gaining speed and ready to crash.
“I think we solved our problem,” he said.
She didn’t respond.
“Isn’t this what you wanted?”
She stuck her chin high in the air and hid every messy emotion that writhed like snakes in her belly. “I guess so.”
He paused, then reached for her. “We better present a united front.”
Five fingers closed around hers with a graceful strength that brought tears to her eyes. She fought them back and decided she was in major PMS mode. There was no other reason why a kiss from Nick Ryan should bring so much pleasure, yet hurt so deeply.
“Are you okay?
She gritted her teeth and smiled so brightly she could have done an advertisement for toothpaste. “Of course. Brilliant idea, by the way.”
“Thank you.”
“Just don’t stiffen up again like a corpse out there. Pretend I’m Gabriella.”
“I could never confuse you and Gabriella.”
The cutting remark slashed through her but she refused to show weakness. “I’m sure you’re right. But you’re no fantasy for me either, Pretty Boy.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“Forget it.” She led him back out into the living room. “Sorry for the interruption, guys. I think we better get going, it’s late.”
Everyone jumped up to say good-bye. Maria kissed her cheek and winked with approval. “I may not like the rush,” she whispered, “but you’re a grown woman. Ignore your father and follow your heart.”
Her throat tightened. “Thanks, Mom. We’ve got a lot to do this week.”
“Don’t worry, honey.”
They were almost to the door when Jim took a last ditch attempt. “Alexandria, the least you could do is postpone the wedding a few weeks for the family. Nick, surely you can’t disagree?”
Nick put his hand on her father’s shoulder. His other firmly clasped his fiancée’s. “I understand why you want us to wait, Jim. But you see, I’m madly in love with your daughter, and we’re getting married on Saturday. We really want your blessing.”
Everyone grew quiet. Even Taylor stopped her babbling to watch the scene before her. Alexa waited for the explosion.
Jim nodded. “Okay. Can I pull you aside for a moment?”
“Dad—”
“Just for a moment.” Nick followed Jim into the kitchen.
Alexa bit back the worry as she chatted with Izzy and Gen about bridesmaid dresses. She caught a glimpse of Nick’s serious expression as he listened to her father. After a few minutes, they shook hands and Jim looked a bit chastened as he kissed her good-bye.
They said their final farewells and got into the car. “What did my father want?”
Nick pulled out of the driveway and concentrated on the road in front of him. “He was worried about paying for the wedding.”
Guilt assaulted her in massive gulps. She’d completely forgotten about the wedding expenses. Of course, her father probably assumed he’d pay, even though times have changed. Sweat pricked her forehead. “What did you tell him?”
Nick glanced at her. “I refused to let him pay, and told him if I’d done what he asked and waited a year, I’d accept his money. But because this was our decision to rush the wedding, I insisted I foot the bill. So we made a bargain. He pays for his tux and your brother’s. I pay for all the girls’ dresses—including yours—and the rest of the wedding.”
She let out her breath in a rush and studied him in the flash of oncoming headlights. His face remained expressionless, but his gesture tugged at her heart. “Thank you,” she said softly.
He jerked as if her words punched through him. “No need. I’d never hurt your parents. No one usually has enough money to pay for a wedding in a week. And I understand family pride. I’d never strip them of that.”
She choked back emotion as they drove for a while in silence. Alexa stared out the window into the darkness. His offer suggested a real relationship between them, and made her long for more. She should have introduced her family to a real life love—not a fake. The lies of the night pressed down on her spirits as she realized she’d made a bargain with the devil for cold hard cash. Cash to save her family. But cash nonetheless.
His gravelly voice broke the silence and her gloomy thoughts. “You seemed upset about our little ruse tonight.”
“I hate lying to my family.”
“Then why do it?”
An uncomfortable silence settled between them.
Nick pressed on. “How badly do you want this money? You don’t seem too thrilled with the idea of marrying me. You’re lying to your family and holding a fake wedding. All for a business expansion? You could get a loan from a bank like most businesses do. Something isn’t adding up.”
The words bubbled up and she almost told him the truth. Her father’s sickness shortly after his return. The lack of medical insurance to pay the staggering bills. Her brother’s struggle to get through medical school while supporting a new family. The endless calls from collectors until her mother had no choice but to sell the house, already heavily mortgaged.
And the weight of responsibility and helplessness Alexa carried along the way.
“I need the money,” she said simply.
“Need? Or want?”
She closed her eyes at the taunt. He wanted to believe she was selfish and shallow. In that moment, she realized she needed every defense against this man. His kiss had shattered all illusions of neutrality between them. His lips over hers had rocked her to the bottom of her soul, just like the very first time in the woods. Nicholas Ryan tore through her walls and left her vulnerable. After a week living in close quarters, she’d be jumping his bones.
Alexa had no other choice.
She needed to cultivate his hatred for her. If he thought she had shady character, he’d leave her alone and she’d walk away with her pride intact and her family whole. She refused to foster his pity or take his charity. If she told the truth about her family, the rest of her defenses would shatter. He may even give her the money free and clear, and then she’d be forever in his debt.
The image of him casting her in a role of the martyr to save Tara choked her with humiliation. No, better off if he believed her to be a cold-hearted businesswoman as he craved. At least he’d resent her and keep his distance. Just being near the man set her off like a firecracker, and she’d be damned if she took a backseat to his precious Gabriella.
Her deal with the devil would be on her own terms.
Alexa drew on her inner reserve and lapsed into her second phase of lies for the night. “You really want to know the truth?”
“Yeah. I want to know.”
“You grew up with money, Pretty Boy. Money smoothes out a lot of unhappiness and stress. I’m tired of struggling like my mother. I don’t want to wait another five years before expanding my bookstore. I don’t want to deal with interest and banks and debt-to-income ratios. I’m going to use the money to build a cafe onto BookCrazy and make it a success.”
“What if it fails? You’ll be back where you started.”
“The property is building in value so I can always sell. And I’m putting the extra into a solid financial portfolio. I can buy a small house outright and be secure by the time our marriage dissolves.”
“Why not ask for $200,000? Or even more? Why not squeeze me dry?”
She shrugged. “I estimated one-fifty would be enough to give me everything I want. If I thought you’d give me more money, I would’ve asked. After all, other than dealing with my family, it’s a pretty easy bargain. I just have to put up with you.”
“I guess you’re more logical than I thought.” The statement should have been a compliment. She burned with humiliation, but knew she’d bought the distance desperately needed. Of course, the price was her character. But she reminded herself of the goal and remained silent.
He pulled up to her apartment building. She opened the car door and grabbed her purse. “I’d invite you up, but I think we’ll be seeing enough of each other in the next year.”
He nodded. “Good night. I’ll be in touch. I can have the movers help you whenever you’re ready. Do whatever you want with the wedding and let me know where and when to show up.”
“Okay. See ya.”
“See ya.”
She let herself into her apartment, closed the door behind her, and slid her back down the frame until she hit the floor.
Then cried.
Nick watched her safely enter her loft and waited for the light to click on. The low purr of the BMW was the only sound to break the silence.
His annoyance at her blunt admission bothered him. Why did he care if she wanted the money? It was a perfect motivation to get them both through the next year with no damages. He needed to keep his distance. Her parents caused a dangerous longing to bubble up from deep inside. He quickly squashed the emotion, but the idea that he still retained some sick ray of hope for a normal family pissed him off.
Maybe it was the way she looked tonight. She’d pinned her hair up, and stubborn black curls stabbed through the bobby pins to lay across her cheek and down her neck. Her skin looked warm to the touch, slightly flushed with pleasure from being around her family. She smiled so easily, her lips full and relaxed.
He’d wanted to dip his head and taste what lay beneath those ruby, bee-stung lips. Wanted to slip his tongue deep inside and tempt her to play. The snug material of her jeans showed off the curve of her buttocks and swing of her hips. A hot pink button-down shirt seemed conservative enough, until she leaned forward and Nick caught a glimpse of pale rose lace cupping her full breasts. The image burned through his mind and wreaked havoc with his concentration. He’d spent most of the evening trying to get her to bend down to sneak a peek. Just like a horny teenager.
The light bulb kicked on and he roared away from the curb. Temper bit at him like a moody pit bull. She bothered him in a deep gutted way. So did her family. He remembered how loving her mother was. Remembered the guilt when he’d wished his own mother would disappear and leave him with Maria McKenzie. Remembered the old pain of being out of control in a world not meant for children to be alone. Remembered things he’d vowed to never unearth. Marriage. Children. Connections only caused a ripping pain no one deserved.
He had erected walls so Alexa wouldn’t spot any moments of weakness. If she suspected he desired her in any way, the rules would change. He didn’t intend for this siren of a woman to have any power over him.
Until the kiss.
Nick muttered a foul curse. He remembered how her breath came in choppy gasps and her eyes snapped. That damn shirt finally gaped open enough for him to spot ripe flesh encased in pink lace. He’d been ready to push her away, and then she’d grabbed him at her mother’s call. Wasn’t his fault he gave in to instinct to save their ruse.
Until her hot, wet mouth opened under his. Until her sweet taste swamped his senses, and the maddening scents of vanilla and spice made him want to howl at the moon. He finally knew she approached sex the same way she approached anger—no holds barred—no prisoners taken. Demanding. Punishing. Passionate.
He was so screwed. And not in a good way.
But she’d never know. He had made sure to screen his face to a nothing blankness, though his jutting erection screamed he was a liar. Didn’t matter. Nick refused to break the rules. Alexa was a woman who lived in the light and would never be happy with the deal he’d made himself when he was a child. One year was enough.
He hoped he emerged in one piece.
The Marriage Bargain The Marriage Bargain - Jennifer Probst The Marriage Bargain