The walls of books around him, dense with the past, formed a kind of insulation against the present world and its disasters.
Ross MacDonald
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What She Had To
I was three years old sitting in the seat of a Greyhound bus
My brother and me, Mama's tears falling like a Carolina rain
Cause she pulled out a gun the night before
Said he ain't gonna drink and hit me no more
She pulled the trigger on my father in a moment's rain
Thank God that gun wasn't loaded
Didn't know where to go or how she'd survive
Didn't care, anywhere but there that night
Now she held her babies tight
And we rode through the cold of the midnight blue
She was scared, she was broke
But all she knew was she was gonna do
What she had to
She got her a job in a trailer out west
It wasn't much but she was doing her best
Putting food on the table for her family
But then one day I came home from school
My Mama was crying alone in her room
She said, I lost my job and we're gonna lose the trailer too
And she got that volkswagon loaded
Didn't know where to go or how she'd survive
Didn't care, anywhere but there that night
She held her babies tight
And we rode through the cold of the midnight blue
She was scared, she was broke
But all she knew was she was gonna do
What she had to
Whenever things go wrong in my life
I just think of her, what it took that night
To get on that bus in a Carolina rain
Didn't know where to go or how she'd survive
Didn't care, anywhere but there that night
She held her babies tight
(She held her babies tight)
And we rode through the cold of the midnight blue
She was scared, she was broke
But all she knew was she was gonna do
What she had to
What she had to (what she had to)
Yeah, yeah, ooooh, what she had to
What she had to