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Lord Chesterfield
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The Cramper
Have you ever known a free lancer
Thinks that he's a camper
Known around my way as the cramper
Like P.M.S. always pokin'
But he won't go away with a little Motrin
Now if you ever heard the term cramper and you wonder
The worms kinda like I guess a modern day Felix Unger
When ya first meet em ya think he's O.K.
But then you learn a little bit of the cramper goes a long way
Hear say here I say through the grapevine
He squawks and he gawks and he walks a thin line
Just like a little ****in' ***
He always wants to get high but never has a bag
Never works says he can't find the right job
Ain't got a dime and when he does he's a tightwad
He's the dampest there's no one damp
Huh huh.... he's the mother ****in cramper
Now the crampers red, there's no one redder,
He rides ya wrong like a really tight sweater
He's sorta like a mouse a pest of a peer
You come home he's at your house drinkin' your last beer
Pokin' and strokin' he makes you want to belt him
Always wearin' out his mother ****in' welcome
And then sporty's never that cautious
He sips from your forty and he always backwashes
Talk about a certain subject, he'll jinx it
Let him borrow a shirt, the stooge always shrinks it
He's the dampest, there's no one damper
Huh huh.... he's the mother ****in' cramper