A good book on your shelf is a friend that turns its back on you and remains a friend.
Author Unknown
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My 1st Single
Oh! Yeah,
So much for 1st single on this one
Shady's the label, Aftermath is the stable
That the horses come out of 'erp
Of course we're about to stir up
Some **** thick as Mrs. Butterworth's syrup
It's the Mr. Picked-On-Christopher-Reeves-Just-For-No-Reason
Other than to just tease him
'Cause he was his biggest (burp) fan
He used to be Superman
Now I'm pourin' liquor on the curb in his name for him
"Eminem you wait til we meet up again
****er I'm kicking your *** for everything you've ever said"
It goes one for the money two for the ****in' show
Ready get set let's go
Here comes the buckin' bronco
Stompin' and stampedin' up the damn street like them buffalo
Soldiers I told ya
I'm about to blow so look out below, Geronimo
************s it's dominoes
I'm on a roll, around and around I go
When will I stop? I don't know
Tryin' to pick up where the Eminem Show left off but I know
Anything's possible though I'm not gonna top what I sold
I'm at the top of my game that **** is not gonna change
Long as I got Dr Dre on my team I'll get away
With murder, I'm like O-J
He's like my Cochran today
We keep them Mark Ferman tapes in a safe
Lock em away
Better watch what you say just when you thought you were safe
Them ****ers got you on tape
You swear to God you was playin'
Whether or not you was little Joshua Gosh
I wish I could of told you not to do the same
'Cause one day it could cost you your name
[Chorus]
And this was supposed to be my first single (burp)
But I just ****ed that off so
**** it let's all have fun, let's mingle (burp)
Slap a ***** and smack a ho
This was supposed to be my catchy little jingle (fart)
That you hear on your radio
But ****'s about to hit the shingle (fart)
Oh oh oh oh oh oh no
Oh ah oh ah oh ah
Oh oh ah ah
Oh ah oh ah oh ah
Poo poo ka ka
Eri-eri-Erick swallowed some generic
Sleeping pills, and woke up in bed next to his best friend Derrick bare-naked
Jig-a-jig-ji-ji-Janean just turned sixteen and used a fake I-D
To sneak in V-I-P to see are Kelly
Hee-hee-hee-hee
To be so young and naive
Oh what I wouldn't give to live so Kim and care free
Paris and Nicky's parents must be so tickled they cherish every picture
With their kids with hickeys all over their necks
Hicky-dickory dirk diggler look at me work wizardry
With these words, am I a jerk or just jerk chicken?
Or (scratch sound) jerkin your chain
Twenty two jerks in a jerk circle
Or is it a circle jerk
Or wait a minute what am I saying?
Allow me to run it back and rewind it
Wait let me ask you again
Am I just jerkin your chain
Am I berserk or insane
Or am I just one of them damn amateurs
Working the dang cameras
Filmin' one of them Paris Hilton homemade
Porno's who keeps tiltin' the lens at an angle
Jigga-ji-just recently somebody just discovered Britney and Justin
Video tapes of em ****in'
When they was just Musketeers in the Mickey Mouse Club and dusted em
And went straight to The Source with em
Cause they could have sworn someone said ni-
And then tried to erase and record over it
But if you listen close enough to it
You can hear the ga-uh
And then come ta
Find out it was Justin
Sayin' "I'm gon-na cum!"
And this was supposed to be
[Chorus]
Any opinions or somethin' you just wanna get off your chest
And address it about my lyrics
I'd love to hear it
All you gotta do is pick up the phone and just dial up this number
It's 1-800 I'm a **** sucker I love to suck a ****
And if someone picks up you can talk all the **** you want about me
Just type in your number back and follow it by the pound key
And I'll be sure to get back as soon as there comes a day
That I fall out with Dre
Wake up gay and make up with Ray
Hey! So **** a chicken, lick a chicken, suck a chicken, beat a chicken
Eat a chicken like it's a big ****, big a big ****
Or suck a **** and lick a **** and eat a **** and stick a **** in your mouth
I'm done you can **** off
**** a **** off
(Chorus)