Good as it is to inherit a library, it is better to collect one.

Augustine Birrell, Obiter Dicta, "Book Buying"

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Maria
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(one nun at a time)
She climbs a tree
And scrapes her knee
 
Her dress has got a tear
 
She waltzs on her way to mass
And whistles on the stair
 
And underneath her wimple
She has curlers in her hair!
 
I've even heard her singing in the abbey
 
She's always late for chapple
 
But her penitence is real
 
She's always late for everything
 
Except for every meal
 
I hate to have to say it but I very firmly feel
 
(all together)
Maria's not an asset to the abbey
 
(one nun)
I'd like to say a word in her behalf:
Maria makes me laugh
 
(all nuns laugh)
 
(all nuns)
How do you solve a problem like maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
 
(one nun at a time)
A flibbertajibbit?
 
A will of a whisp
 
a clown
 
Many a thing you know you'd like tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
 
But how do you make her stay?
And listen to all you say
 
how do you keep a wave upon the sand?
 
Oh how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moon beam in your hand?
 
When I'm with her
I'm confused
Out of focus
And bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
 
(one nun at a time)
Unpredictable as weather
 
She's as flighty as a feather
 
She's a darling
 
She's a demon
 
She's a lamb
 
She'd out pester any pest
Drive a hornet from its nest
 
She can throw a twirling dervish out of whirl
 
She is gentle
She is wild
 
She's a riddle
She's a child
 
She's a headache
 
She's an angel
 
She's a girl!!
 
(all at once)
How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
 
A flibbertajjibet
A will of a wisp
A clown
 
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay?
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh how do you solve a problem like maria?
How do you hold a moon beam in your hand?