As a rule reading fiction is as hard to me as trying to hit a target by hurling feathers at it. I need resistance to celebrate!
William James
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Boy Wanted
I've just finished writing an advertisement
Calling for a boy.
No half-hearted Romeo or flirt is meant;
That`s the kind I`d not employ.
Though anybody interested can apply,
He must know a thing or two to qualify.
For instance:
He must be able to dance.
He must make life a romance.
I said a boy wanted,
One who can smile;
Boy wanted, lovable style.
He must know how to say "Yes!"
When I look at a new dress.
Oh, I`ll be ready when the right one calls,
And I`ll start vamping him until he falls;
Yes, if he proves to be the right little laddie,
I`ll make him glad he answered my ad.
He must like musical shows,
And he must wear snappy clothes.
Yes, that is my story,
And to it I`ll stick;
No glory
In having a hick.
He needn't be such a saint,
But, Oh! he doesn't say "ain`t."
I don`t care if his bankroll totals naught,
For we can live on love and food for thought.
If he`s a scholar, when I see him I`ll holler,
My lad, I`m glad you answered my ad!`
Original Version:
I`ve just finished writing an advertisement
Calling for a boy.
No half-hearted Romeo or flirt is meant;
That`s the kind I`d not employ.
Though anybody interested can apply,
He must know a thing to qualify.
For instance:
[Refrain 1]
He must be able to dance.
he must make life a romance.
I said a boy wanted,
One who can smile;
Boy wanted,
Lovable style.
He must be tender and true,
And he must know how to woo.
I know we`ll get acquainted mighty soon,
Out in a garden `neath a harvest moon;
And if he proves to be the right little laddie,
I`ll make him glad
He`ll answer my ad!
[Refrain 2]
To be the boy of my choice,
He needn`t own a Rolls Royce.
The kind of boy wanted*
Needn`t have gold;
Boy wanted,
Mustn`t be cold.
If he has oodles of charm,
I`ll even life on a farm.
if he fits into my picture of a home,
I`ll be so nice he`ll never have to roam.**
Yes, if he proves to be the right little laddie,
I`ll make him glad
He answered my ad.
[Refrain 3]
He must like musical shows,
And he must wear snappy clothes.
Yes, that is my story,
And to it I`ll stick;
There`s no glory
In having a hick.
He must know how to say "Yes!"***
When I look at a new dress.
Oh, I`ll be ready when the right one calls,
And I`ll start vamping him until he falls;
And if he subsidises me, oh, sweet daddy!
I`ll make him glad
He answered my ad!
[Refrain 4]
The movies he must avoid,
He`ll know his Nietzsche and Freud.
I said a boy wanted,
One who knows books;
Boy wanted
Needn`t have looks.
He must be such a saint,
But, Oh! he dassent say `ain`t.`
I don`t care if his bankroll totals naught,
For we can live on love and food for thought.
If he`s a scholar, when I see him I`ll holler,
`My lad, I`m glad
You answered my ad!`
Primrose Version:
Verse:
I`ve just finished writing an advertisement
Calling for a boy.
No half-hearted Romeo or flirt is meant;
That`s the kind I won`t employ.
Though anybody interested can apply,
He must know a thing to qualify.
For instance:
Refrain 1:
To have a ghost of a chance,
He must be able to dance.
The sort of boy wanted
Must have a smile
Boy wanted,
Lovable style.
He must be tender and true,
And if he knows what to do,
I think I`ll learn to love him very soon;
I`ll want him morning, night and afternoon.
So if you know of one who`s wanting employment,
Just tell him that
I`m wanting a boy!
Refrain 2:
To be the boy of my choice,
He`s got to own a Rolls Royce.
He must be quite reckless
Buying me things:
Pearl necklace,
Diamond rings.
He must be ready to pay
A dozen bills ev`ry day.
I`ll simply smothing him with tender care
If I could find a multimillionaire.
So if you could seen one dining at the Savoy-oh!
Just tell him
I`m wanting a boy!
Refrain 3:
I won`t have anyone small,
He must be handsome and tall.
I said a boy wanted,
Beautifully dressed;
Boy wanted,
Trousers well pressed.
He must have wonderful eyes;
He must wear wonderful ties.
I want a boy who`ll always look as though
He`s only just come out of Savile Row.
So if some Paris wants a Helen of Troy-oh!
Just tell him that
I`m wanting a boy.