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Chapter 92
moved my hand to her cheek. The warmth only pressed my point on her breakable state, "If I was too hasty...if for one second I wasn't paying enough attention, I could reach out, meaning to touch your face, and crush your skull by mistake. You don't realize how incredibly breakable you are. I can never, never afford to lose any kind of control when I'm with you."
She didn't respond. Her silence was unnerving. With every breath she took, I became more anxious, "Are you scared?" I asked, worried.
She still didn't respond. Had she gone to sleep? No, her pulse was still hammering and her breath was still staggered. I secured my arms around her, hoping to reassure her that I would never hurt her. She finally spoke, "No. I'm fine." she lied smoothly.
I thought about it for a minute. I had questions of my own now, "I'm curious now, though," I said lightly, "Have you ever...?" I didn't finish my sentence, hoping she would realize what I was asking.
She responded immediately, "Of course not." I could smell the blood rushing to her face again, "I told you I've never felt like this about anyone before, not even close."
I instantly felt appalled for ever thinking that Bella was like a normal human.
"I know. It's just that I know other people's thoughts. I know love and lust don't always keep the same company." I explained.
"They do for me. Now, anyway, that they exist for me at all," she sighed.
I tightened my arms around her again, and took her fragrance into my lungs, letting my throat burn in pleasure, "That's nice. We have that one thing in common, at least." I said, pleased.
In my whole existence, I had never been with another woman, human or vampire. I had never been this physically or emotionally close to anyone. I was grateful that I waited until this moment to be with Bella. Being with anyone else was unconceivable. The sensations I am feeling are incredible and worth the wait.
"Your human instincts..." she began, I waited, "Well, do you find me attractive, in that way, at all?"
I was taken aback. Did she seriously think I found her unattractive in any sort of way? I laughed low, to not let Charlie hear. I moved one of my hands to her hair and lightly fluffed it up.
"I may not be human, but I am a man," I assured her.
Suddenly, she was yawning. I was keeping her awake, she needed to get sleep, "I've answered your questions, now you should sleep," I insisted.
"I'm not sure if I can."
It broke my heart to ask her, but it always had to be Bella's choice, "Do you want me to leave?" there was sadness in my voice.
"No!" She almost yelled.
I laughed; I became light hearted immediately at her exclamation. I began humming her lullaby in her ear again. We laid there for only a few moments before Bella's breathing became deep.
Then, the talking began.
17. Family
When Bella first fell asleep, she was quiet. I held her in my arms and kept my face close to her neck. I continued to breathe deeply while I hummed her lullaby very quietly in her ear. Even in her sleep, she trembled at my touch. This moment is what I had always wished for when I was the peeping tom, and now, after everything I've done; spying on her, being rude to her, ignoring her, she invites me in and still wants to be with me. The thought sent pleasure through me. A feeling I couldn't get used to, yet I craved it more.
While I was laying there with an angel in my arms I was thinking about the past day's events. I couldn't think of my life before her, because that was no life at all. I was so joyous, euphoric. Every time I felt her warmth, hear her pulse speed up, watch her face flush I fell deeper and deeper into love.
After fifteen minutes of silence, Bella began to mumble. I couldn't understand what she was saying for the most part. She shivered then, and I realized that I was probably making her cold. Though it pained me to do it, I removed her from my arms and pulled the blanket around her firmly. Bella turned over when I let go of her, and I thought she woke up when she mumbled, "I love you, Edward." She sighed then, and smiled. Bursts of pleasure and exultation flowed swiftly through my body at the thought of her love for me. I was rejoicing, my skin literally singing. The onslaught of euphoric feelings was almost overwhelming.
A light snore followed and then she turned again, moving her left hand around like she was looking for something...this distracted me. I didn't know what she could possibly be feeling for. An idea sparked in my head then. I grabbed another blanket and wrapped it securely around her. She mumbled, sighed, and said my name. Her hand never stopped searching. I finally laid down next to her, holding her while she was bundled in her quilt and another blanket.
Like her hand found what it was looking for, she grabbed my neck and pulled her face into the hollow below my ear. She breathed deep heavy breaths onto my neck. The warmth made me tremble. I pulled her in closer to me. The sensations of her breath were almost maddening. She reached up with her right hand and then it limply fell onto my chest. I held her even closer then. She was quiet.
After several immeasurable moments, she turned over and sighed. Her hand came around her back and pulled me close again. I gently caressed her face. Even in her sleep she flushed red. I wonder what she is dreaming about. She sighed my name once more, lightly snored again and didn't move for over an hour.
It was becoming late in the evening and Charlie decided he was going to bed. Before he went to bed though, he went outside, opened the hood of Bella's truck, felt to see if it was warm...just in case she had snuck out and back without his knowledge, and then swiftly unplugged the battery cables. Did he seriously think that is all it would take to stop Bella from leaving? Charlie went to bed then, and he was snoring in a matter of minutes.
Bella moved once more, bringing her head to my chest, over my still heart. I moved the hair from her face and watched as she slept peacefully. I caressed her face, her hair, her lips over and over again. Every time I pressed my fingers to her skin I was stung by the electricity. It was an astonishing feeling.
When I could see the sky turning a deep dark blue, I left to take a shower and change my clothes. Removing my arms from Bella was torture. But I had to. I jumped out of Bella's window and raced to my house. It isn't home without Bella, she was my home now.
Alice, oh Alice...she was waiting for me, just like always, at the bottom of the stairs outside.
"Thanks," I mumbled under my breath, I was still grateful for her presence this evening.
"So, Jasper lost the bet - he should know better than to bet against me." Alice laughed.
We heard Emmett's chuckling from inside the house, immediately after we heard a loud thud and a, "I'll get you for that!"
Shortly after we heard Esme, "Boy's, cut it out!" followed by "I'm Sorry," from Jasper and Emmett both.
Alice and I just grinned widely at each other.
"So, are the boys ready to meet Bella?" I asked Alice.
Her face went blank as I watched her go through her most recent visions. She was seeing Jasper staying far from Bella, Emmett enjoying Bella's presence immensely until Rosalie show's up and Bella and I laughing exuberantly.
"Thanks again," I said.
I heard a chuckle from inside the house again, "Hey Edward, is meeting Bella going to be as fun as messing with that kid in Spanish class?" Emmett mused.
I heard a light slap from inside the house, "Emmett, you will be good to Bella, she is going to be a part of this family!" Esme reprimanded him.
"Alice, can I ask you a question?" I wondered.
Oh, of course you would be wondering about that. I am surprised it took you this long to notice, Alice thought.
"Please, Alice," I pleaded, "Show me the vision again."
Bella and Alice were in a room together, Bella's room, I noticed. Alice was taking measurements of her body and Bella was blushing scarlet with a frown prominent on her face. Immediately I noticed the ring on her left hand.
"Stop," I begged.
What is it Edward, I don't understand, Alice asked, concerned.
"This isn't the same vision, is this newer?" I asked
Alice tried to hide her thoughts. It was a new vision, but I was noticing how she was getting measured for a wedding gown and how her face was still flushing a deep red, which meant that she was human. How was that possible? Was it when Bella asked me about marriage? I must admit, the thought did run through my mind, but for only a fraction of a second. Did we both want it at the same time? It seemed a dream come true - but how could this be possible. I was completely miffed! How could I let myself get so deeply into this? Because you love her, you idiot, I yelled internally.
She was my life now, and there was no taking it back. I could not leave her, and I knew she felt the same way. I frowned at Alice. It wasn't her fault, but she was the one who was showing me what I could possibly be doing to Bella. I was coveting her.
I went inside the house. Carlisle was talking with Jasper intently about a new medical study going on at the hospital. When I walked in the room, they stopped immediately. Jasper could feel the mix of emotions coming off of me.
What is going on with you Edward? I have never felt so many emotions radiating off one person, love, self hatred, anger, happiness... there are so many feelings, get a grip, Edward! Jasper scolded.
"I'm sorry," I muttered to Jasper.
I put my feelings in check then, deciding to focus on today's events.
"Carlisle, I am going to invite Bella over to meet the family, is that okay?" I asked
Absolutely, that would be delightful, Carlisle thought.
Esme came into the room then, interested in our conversation. I had not talked that much about Bella in the past, but they all knew how my mood has changed since I met her. She has altered me in ways I didn't know were possible.
"You know my thoughts on that Edward. I've wanted to meet her for some time now. She is your partner, which means she is family. I am ready to meet my new daughter," Esme beamed.
"Thank you," I said to both of them with a grin on my face.
"No need to thank us Edward, we want to thank Bella!" Carlisle exclaimed.
"No doubt," I mumbled, distracted now.
My family could tell I was distracted, and they scattered, while their mental humming starting thinking about the days events, which would include a human.
I went to my bedroom and quickly showered and changed. I was in a hurry and I was finished in just two minutes. I was out the door in the next second.
Can't wait to see Bella, Alice thought as I flew by.
I was back at Bella's before Charlie left. Charlie was humming under his breath while gathering his fishing supplies. He checked on Bella, went downstairs, and pulled something out of the fridge. I was standing in the shade of the trees. My arms were feeling cold, something they have never felt before, but I knew it was because Bella's warmth was absent and I was becoming impatient with Charlie's human slowness.
He finally exited the house and I was already in Bella's room. When I jumped in the window, wind blew inward and then back out the window throwing Bella's scent into my face, instantly assaulting my throat. Hot flames burst down my throat licking at my aching wounds from my already dry thirsty throat. I whirled around to look at Bella. She was sleeping soundly, her hair all around her, where it had dried in the shape of her pillow. A little laugh escaped my lips and the monster was instantly caged, even though the dull ache in my throat continued to burn.
Charlie reconnected Bella's battery cables and left to meet Harry Clearwater at the lake in that moment. I was busy watching over Bella, though. I didn't have time to deal with anyone else's thoughts. My arms were still feeling cold from Bella's absence, but my heart had warmed since I reentered her bedroom. I continually breathed in several large generous gulps of air, letting her scent burn my throat, sending painful pleasure through my body.
I sat in the rocking chair, afraid pulling her into my arms would wake her now. An hour passed, and she still hadn't moved. I would have thought her dead if it weren't for her regular pulse and light snoring.
Suddenly Bella moaned, putting her arm over her face and then she rolled over. She was still for a moment. Her heart started pounding, and her pulse began racing. I was worried but then, instantly, she was sitting up, "Oh!" she breathed.
She met my gaze and I smiled, "Your hair looks like a haystack...but I like it," I teased.
Her hair was splayed across her face...she was adorable. In a fluid movement, by her standards, she was out of the bed and into my arms, clutching herself to me, "Edward! You stayed!" she exulted. My arms instantly engulfed her and brought her to my chest.
She became stone under my arms and her gaze met mine, worry in her expression. She must be worried she went too far but when she threw herself into my arms, I was instantly satisfied, my arms simultaneously warming. I laughed, joyous, "Of course," I told her.
My hands were at her back and began moving up and down gently, caressing her. She shivered in pleasure. I breathed in her delicious scent. Her head met my shoulder, and I brought my arms around her again, securing her to my chest.
"I was sure it was a dream," she mused.
"You're not that creative," I teased.
"Charlie," she exclaimed, leaving my arms quickly to go to the door.
My arms stung without her presence, like they were turning to ice.
"He left an hour ago - after reattaching your battery cables, I might add. I have to admit I was disappointed. Is that really all it would take to stop you, if you were determined to go?" I asked, curious.
She stood in the middle of her room, with a confused expression on her face, unresponsive to my question, "You're not usually this confused in the morning," I noted.
My arms were still stinging unbearably now. I held my arms out, welcoming her back into my embrace. She stared at me, wavered, and then spoke, "I need another human minute," she explained.
"I'll wait."
Bella literally skipped to the bathroom. I had never seen her do that, and it sent a new sensation spiraling down my spine. I still didn't know Bella, there were so many things I didn't understand and I wanted to know everything about it. Her expressions, her thoughts and feelings. I gritted my teeth, and tightened my eyes shut trying to read her thoughts once more. Nothing, not even a hum, murmur, or buzz. Absolutely...frustrating, there was no other word for it. I heard the water running in the bathroom again and I was extremely happy that she wasn't taking another warm shower. The memory of the scent left painful scorch marks in my throat.
I heard the water turn off. She ran back into the room and I immediately held out my arms, pleading obvious on my face. For her to be in my arms was a necessity at this moment. I couldn't remain in this chair for long if she wasn't locked in my arms.
"Welcome back," I murmured.
Her heart began beating rapidly and she embraced me back. I held her to my chest, rocking her lightly back and forth while lightly tracing her bodies every line. A rush of sensations was rippling through my body, at each electric jolt; jubilance, happiness, triumph...the uplifting joy I was feeling was indescribable.
Bella grabbed the collar of my shirt, "You left?" she accused.
I felt so light-hearted at this moment, "I could hardly leave in the clothes I came in - what would the neighbors think?" I teased, not like the neighbors would see me.
Her bottom lip was suddenly protruding from her face. My new desires and the passion I was always feeling for her flared up and I wanted to bring my mouth to hers to nibble on her lower lip. No mistakes, I told myself. If I were to slip, I might break the skin. I decided to distract myself, "You were very deeply asleep; I didn't miss anything," I stared at her, "The talking came earlier."
She groaned loudly and I automatically brought my arms around her to comfort her.
"What did you hear?" she moaned.
"You said you loved me." I explained with adoration in my joyous expression.
"You knew that already," she noted, bringing her head to my chest again.
Her warmth was insatiable and I brought her scent into my lungs again and again, relishing in the burning desires.
"It was nice to hear, just the same," I explained.
She didn't even hesitate, "I love you," she whispered softly.
My heart, unbeating, felt like it grew to ten times its normal size, a walking stereo type for the Grinch. I wrapped my arms around her in this moment, holding her closely while inhaling the delicate scent that I would on no account be able to acquire enough of.
I was holding Bella in my arms as she was confessing her love to me. I had to affirm my affections for her, and love wasn't an effective enough declaration, "You are my life now." I replied with an understated fervor.
Not one word escaped her mouth, but she drew me closer to her warm body. Her reaction was all the confirmation I needed. She understood. It would be foolish for me to deny myself the warmth of this soul. After several moments of pure bliss, I recalled her human weakness, "Breakfast time," I said, letting her know that I didn't forget all her human frailties.
She glanced at me and in an abrupt action she grasped her neck with both hands. Her eyes widened in terror. I was instantly distressed, terrified that she thought I was going to drink from her. She comprehended my reaction. It must be apparent on my face.
"Kidding!" she giggled, "And you said I couldn't act!" she pointed out.
I felt a moment of unease. Unbelievable! How could she possibly think of her life as a joke? Did she think so little of me, too? I was offended and a little out-raged, "That wasn't funny." I stated with vexation clear on my face.
"It was very funny, and you know it," she responded, laugh lines still present on her cheeks.
Nothing could smoother her uplifted mood or mine. She continued to examine my face. The anger I was feeling fled from my body as quickly as it came, "Shall I rephrase?" I inspected her face, "Breakfast time for the human."
"Oh, okay," she answered with a smirk.
I felt suddenly playful. I grabbed her up, and in the gentlest of ways, tossed her over my shoulder. She caught her breath and her pulse raced. The warmth emitted from her like the sun. Her scent was assaulting my nose, and entering my lungs in waves. I reveled in it because I knew the cold would return as soon as I placed her back on her feet. I disappeared down the stairs and in a seconds time I was in the kitchen. With my new discipline of my easy touch coming more naturally, I placed Bella carefully on a chair.
"What's for breakfast?" she asked with smile lines still prominent on her face.
Crap, I groaned internally. I remembered that she needed food, but I didn't think to learn to make food. I still hadn't found out all her little secrets like all the things she liked and disliked, including foods.
"Er, I'm not sure," I answered honestly, "What would you like?"
I was hoping she wouldn't ask for anything difficult. A pop tart maybe? Disgusting! I could see my reflection in her bright brown eyes and I watched as my brow furrowed at the complexity that was food. I was stumped on what to do.
She could read the apprehension on my face. She grinned her magnificent smile, bounded toward the cabinets and began searching.
Midnight Sun Midnight Sun - Stephenie Meyer Midnight Sun