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Chapter 32
N
ICHOLAS woke at a knock at the door, and became aware of two things simultaneously. He was lying with his limbs entwined with Regina’s, and the person who had knocked wasn’t going to wait to be invited in.
Finding his wife next to him was a lovely surprise, stirring wonderful memories. He turned toward the door and muttered a curse. Regina’s maid stood there, a candle in one hand, Thomas pressed to her shoulder with the other hand. A look of ridiculous surprise spread across her face.
“Isn’t it customary to wait until you are bid entry?” Nicholas growled.
But Meg wasn’t intimidated. “It’s not customary at all, your lordship, not when it’s my Lady Reggie’s room I am enterin‘.”
“Well, Lady Reggie is not alone, so if you will turn yourself around, I will make myself presentable.”
Meg gasped as he stood up without further notice. She swung around quickly, wax spilling onto the floor. What was he doing in Reggie’s bed? The poor girl had been heartbroken when he deserted her, and now here he was back without, she guessed, so much as an apology.
“You may turn around now, and state your business.”
Meg bristled. She glanced hesitantly over her shoulder just as he came up behind her, blocking her view of the bed.
Suspiciously, she asked, “Does she know you’re here?”
Nicholas laughed. “My dear woman, what are you accusing me of?”
Meg drew herself up stiffly, trying to think what she should say.
“Is there some problem that brings you here in the middle of the night?” Nicholas asked before she could speak.
“I’ve brought Lord Thomas for his late-night feeding,” she explained, making him wonder how he could have forgotten so soon that the infant required attention in the middle of the night.
Meg continued as if she had read his thoughts. “It’s troublesome, true, but it won’t be lastin‘ much longer, these late feedings. A few nights already he’s slept right through. It’s the travelin’ and the strange room that have him fussin‘ tonight.”
“Very well, you may give him to me.”
Meg drew back in amazement. “Beggin‘ your pardon, your lordship, but wouldn’t it be better if you just left the room for a while?”
“No, it would not,” Nicholas said firmly. “But you may do so. And no, dear woman, I do not imagine I can satisfy his needs, so you needn’t look at me like that. I will give him to his mother and see he is returned to you when he is finished.”
He reached for Thomas and Meg was forced to comply, though she warned, “Careful. You must support his neck… that’s right, just so. He’s not a rag doll, you know.” At the scowl he shot her, she left.
Nicholas sighed. There was nothing for it, he would have to wake her. Blister it, he didn’t want to wake her. She had slept long enough to have lost all the effects of the wine. She would be shocked by his presence. Oh, why couldn’t the child suckle without her being awake? Her lovely breasts were already bared, and she was lying on her side. Could the child do it on his own?
He gently lifted the boy and placed him close to Regina. Nothing happened. Nicholas sat back and frowned. Why the devil wouldn’t it work? Didn’t babies possess some kind of instinct? He turned the little face toward her until the baby’s cheek brushed against her nipple. But the little head turned away again, and Thomas began making sounds of frustration.
Exasperated, Nicholas lay down behind Thomas and turned him onto his side, guiding the little mouth to the nipple. Nicholas held the boy in place until at last the nipple was found and Thomas began to suck.
Nicholas smiled, pleased with himself and the baby. With his hand covering the back of the baby’s head, holding him firmly to his source of food, Nicholas was able to lie there and watch mother and child at his leisure. Every new father ought to be so lucky, he told himself.
He nearly chuckled aloud at his own cleverness. He was feeling damned proud. This was his son—he would bloody well lay low anyone who said otherwise—and he had helped to feed him. Well, he had brought the baby to his food, anyway. It was nearly the same thing. He could understand a little of what Regina must feel each time she fed him. It was a marvelous feeling.
Watching them, he was filled again with the warmth and tenderness he had felt the night before, and a wealth of possessiveness, too. His wife, his child. They belonged to him. Something was going to have to be done to see that they knew it and accepted it.
Nicholas was handling the baby with much more confidence when he walked him down the hall to the room Meg shared with the nurse. He had even managed to turn both mother and child over so that Regina’s other breast, quite swollen with milk, could be drained as well. And all without waking her.
Meg opened the door, looking disagreeable. Here, he thought, was a good place to begin gaining acceptance.
“Tell me something, Meg. Is this animosity you have for me personal, or only a reflection of your lady’s feelings for me?”
Meg, much older than Nicholas, was bold enough to speak her mind. “Both. You shouldn’t have come back. She was doin‘ just fine without you, and she’ll do just fine again once you’re gone.”
“Gone?” He was truly shocked. “You have me leaving when I’ve only just returned?”
“Well, won’t you?” Meg retorted, working herself into a fine stew. “You didn’t want her for your wife. She knows that well enough now.”
“And if I don’t leave again, Meg? What then?” he asked softly.
Meg held her ground. He was not to be let off easily. “She’ll make your life miserable, that’s what. No more than you deserve, beggin‘ your pardon, your lordship. Tess and I didn’t raise any insipid miss, I can tell you that. You can’t hurt a Malory twice.”
Nicholas nodded. He had heard enough. If anyone knew Regina’s real feelings, it was Meg, and the maid was outspoken enough to tell him the truth. Was she right? Was there no hope for him and Regina?
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Love Only Once
Johanna Lindsey
Love Only Once - Johanna Lindsey
https://isach.info/story.php?story=love_only_once__johanna_lindsey