OUR HOURS LATER THE PLANE glided over the sea and landed at Lanzarote Airport, causing everyone to cheer and applaud. No one on the plane was more relieved than Denise.

"Oh, I have the biggest headache," she complained to the girls as they made their way to the luggage reclaim.

"That bloody girl just talks and talks and talks." She massaged her temples and closed her eyes, relieved at the peace.

Sharon and Holly spotted Cindy and her crew making their way over to them and they dashed off into the crowd, leaving Denise standing alone with her eyes closed.

They beat their way through the crowd so they had a good view of the luggage. Everybody thought it would be a great idea to stand right next to the conveyer belt and to lean forward so that nobody beside them could see what was coming. They stood there for almost half an hour before the conveyer belt even started moving and a further half an hour later they were still standing there waiting for their bags while the majority of the crowd had headed outside to their coaches.

"You bitches," Denise said, angrily approaching them, dragging her suitcase behind her. "You still waiting for your bags?"

"No, I just find it strangely comforting standing here and watching the same leftover bags going around and around and around. Why don't you go on ahead to the coach and I'll just stay here and continue enjoying myself," Sharon said sarcastically.

"Well, I hope they lost your case," Denise snapped. "Or even better, I hope your bag burst open and all your big knickers and bras are spread all over the conveyer belt for everyone to see."

Holly looked at Denise with amusement. "You feel better now?"

"Not until I have a cigarette," she replied, but she still managed to smile.

"Ooh, there's my bag!" Sharon said happily and swung it off the conveyer belt, managing to whack Holly in the shins.

"Ow!"

"Sorry, but must save clothes."

"If they've lost my clothes I'm going to sue them," Holly said angrily. By now everyone else had gone and they were the only people left inside. "Why am I always the last person waiting for my bags?" she asked her friends.

"Murphy's Law," Sharon explained. "Ah, here it is." She grabbed the suitcase and once again whacked it against Holly's already sore shins.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" Holly yelled, rubbing her legs. "Could you at least swing the bloody thing the other way?!"

"Sorry," Sharon looked apologetic, "I only swing one way, darling."

The three of them headed off to meet their holiday rep.

"Stop, Gary! Get off me!" they heard a voice screeching as they rounded a corner. They followed the sound and spotted a young woman dressed in a red holiday rep uniform being attacked by a young man also dressed in a holiday rep uniform. The girls approached her and she straightened herself up.

"Kennedy, McCarthy and Hennessey?" she said in a thick London accent.

The girls nodded.

"Hi, I'm Victoria and I'm your holiday rep for the next week." She plastered a smile on her face. "So follow me and I'll show you to the coach." She winked cheekily at Gary and led the girls outside.

It was two o'clock in the morning, and yet a warm breeze greeted them as they stepped outside. Holly smiled to the girls, who felt it too; now they were really on holiday. When they stepped into the coach everybody cheered and Holly silently cursed them all, hoping this wasn't going to be a cheesy "let's all make friends" holiday.

"Woo-hoo," Cindy sang over to them. She was standing up from her chair and waving at them. "I kept you all a seat back here!"

Denise sighed loudly over Holly's shoulder and the girls trudged down to the backseat of the bus. Holly was lucky to sit next to the window, where she could ignore the rest of them. She hoped Cindy would understand that she wanted to be left alone, the major hint being that Holly had ignored her from the moment she had tottered over to their table.

Forty-five minutes later they reached Costa Palma Palace and the excitement once again returned to Holly's stomach. There was a long driveway in and tall palm trees lined the center of the drive. A large fountain was lit up with blue lights outside the main entrance and to her annoyance everybody on the bus cheered once again when they pulled up outside. The girls were booked into a studio apartment, which was a nice neat size containing one bedroom with twin beds, a small kitchen and living area with a sofa bed, a bathroom, of course, and a balcony. Holly stepped onto the balcony and looked out to the sea. Although it was too dark to see anything, Holly could hear the water gently lapping up against the sand. She closed her eyes and listened.

"Cigarette, cigarette, must have cigarette," Denise joined her, ripping the cigarette packet open and inhaling deeply. "Ah! That's much better; I no longer have the desire to kill people."

Holly laughed; she was looking forward to spending time with her friends. "Hol, do you mind if I sleep on the sofa bed? That way I can smoke . . ."

"Only if you keep the door open, Denise," Sharon yelled from inside. "I'm not waking up in the morning to the stink of smoke."

"Thanks," Denise said happily.

At nine o'clock that morning Holly was woken up to the sound of Sharon stirring. Sharon whispered to her she was going down to the pool to save them some sun beds. Fifteen minutes later Sharon returned to the apartment. "The Germans have nicked all the sun beds," she said grumpily. "I'll be down on the beach if you want me." Holly sleepily mumbled some sort of response and fell back asleep again. At ten o'clock Denise jumped on her in bed and they decided to get up and join Sharon at the beach.

The sand was hot and they had to keep moving so as not to burn the soles of their feet. As proud as Holly had been about her tan back in Ireland, it was obvious they had just arrived on the island, as they were the whitest people there. They spotted Sharon sitting under the shade of an umbrella reading her book.

"Oh, this is so beautiful, isn't it?" Denise smiled, looking around.

Sharon looked up from her book and smiled. "Heaven."

Holly looked around to see if Gerry had come to the same heaven. Nope, no sign of him. All around her there were couples, couples massaging sun cream onto each other's bodies, couples walking hand in hand along the beach, couples playing beach tennis, and directly in front of her sun bed, a couple was snuggled up together sunbathing. Holly didn't have any time to be depressed, as Denise had stepped out of her sundress and was hopping around on the hot sand in nothing but a skimpy leopard-skin thong.

"Will one of you put sun cream on me?"

Sharon put her book down and stared at her over the rim of her reading glasses. "I'll do it, but you can put the cream on your tits and bum yourself."

"Damn," Denise joked. "Don't worry about it, I'll go ask someone else then." Denise sat at the end of Sharon's sun bed while Sharon applied the cream. "You know what, Sharon?"

"What?"

"You'll get an awful tan line if you keep that sarong on."

Sharon looked down at herself and pulled the little skirt further down her legs. "What tan? I never get a tan.

I've nice Irish skin, Denise. Didn't you know that the color blue was the new brown?"

Holly and Denise laughed. As much as Sharon tried to tan over the years she just ended up getting sunburned and then peeling. She had finally given up trying for a tan and accepted the fact that her skin was meant to be blue.

"Besides, I look like such a blob these days I wouldn't want to scare everyone off."

Holly looked at her friend, annoyed at her for calling herself a blob. She had put a little bit of weight on but was by no means fat.

"Why don't you go up to the swimming pool then and scare all those Germans away?" Denise joked.

"Yeah girls, we really need to get up earlier tomorrow to get a place by the pool. The beach gets boring after a while," Holly suggested.

"Don't vorry. Ve vill get ze Germans," joked Sharon.

The girls relaxed by the beach for the rest of the day, occasionally dipping themselves into the sea to cool down. They ate lunch at the beach bar and generally had a lazy day just as they had planned. Holly gradually felt all the stress and tension working its way out of her muscles, and for a few hours she felt free.

That night they successfully managed to avoid the Barbie Brigade and enjoyed dinner in one of the many restaurants that lined the busy street not far from the complex.

"I can't believe it's ten o'clock and we're heading back to the apartment already," Denise said while staring longingly at the huge choice of bars around them.

People overflowed from the outdoor bars and onto the streets, music vibrating from every building, mixing together to form an unusual eclectic sound. Holly could almost feel the ground pulsing beneath her.

Conversation between them stopped as they took in the sights, sounds and smells around them. There was loud laughter, clinking glasses and singing coming from every direction. Neon lights flashed and buzzed, each battling for its own customers. On the street, bar owners fought hard against each other to convince passersby to enter, handing out leaflets, free drinks and concessions.

Tanned young bodies hung out in big groups around the outdoor tables and strolled confidently by them on the street, the smell of coconut sun cream rich in the air. Looking at the average age of the clientele, Holly felt old.

"Well, we can go to a bar for a few drinks if you want," Holly said uncertainly, watching the younger ones dancing around on the street.

Denise stopped walking and scanned the bars in order to choose one.

"All right, beautiful." A very attractive man stopped and flashed his pearly whites at Denise. He had an English accent. "Are you coming in here with me?"

Denise stared at the young man for a while, lost in thought. Sharon and Holly smirked at each other, knowing that Denise wouldn't be going to bed early after all. In fact, Denise might not get to bed at all that night, knowing her.

Finally Denise snapped out of her trance and straightened herself up. "No thank you, I have a boyfriend and I love him!" she announced proudly. "Come on, girls!" she said to Holly and Sharon and walked off in the direction of the hotel.

The two girls remained on the street, mouths open in shock. They couldn't quite believe it. They had to run to catch up with her.

"What are you two gawking at?" Denise smiled.

"You," Sharon said, still shocked. "Who are you and what have you done with my man-eating friend?"

"OK." Denise held her hands up in the air and grinned. "Maybe being single isn't all it's cracked up to be."

Holly lowered her eyes and kicked a stone along the path as they made their way back to their resort. It sure wasn't.

"Well good for you, Denise," Sharon said happily, wrapping her arm around Denise's waist and giving her a little squeeze.

A silence fell between them and Holly listened as the music faded away slowly, leaving only a beat of the bass in the distance.

"That street made me feel so old," Sharon said suddenly.

"Me too!" Denise's eyes widened. "Since when did people start going out so young?"

Sharon began to laugh. "Denise, the people aren't getting younger, we are getting older, I'm afraid."

Denise thought about that for a while. "Well, it's not like we're old old, for God's sake. I mean, it's not exactly time for us to hang up our dancing shoes and grab our walking sticks. We could stay out all night if we wanted to, we just . . . are tired. We've had a long day . . . oh God, I do sound old." Denise rambled on to herself as Sharon was too busy watching Holly, head down, kicking a stone along the path.

"Holly, are you OK? You haven't said a word in a while." Sharon was concerned.

"Yeah, I was just thinking," Holly said quietly, keeping her head down.

"Thinking about what?" Sharon asked softly.

Holly's head shot up. "Gerry." She looked at the girls. "I was thinking about Gerry."

"Let's go down to the beach," Denise suggested, and they slipped out of their shoes and allowed their feet to sink into the cool sand.

The sky was clear black and a million little stars twinkled down on them; it was as if someone had thrown glitter up into a massive black net. The full moon rested itself low over the horizon, reflecting its beam and showing where the sea met the sky. The girls sat in its path along the shore. The musical water gently lapped before them, calming them, relaxing them. The air was warm but a small cool breeze brushed past Holly, causing her hair to tickle her skin. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and filled her lungs with fresh air.

"That's why he brought you here, you know," Sharon said, watching her friend relaxing.

Holly's eyes remained closed and she smiled.

"You don't talk about him much, Holly," Denise said casually, making designs with her finger in the sand.

Holly slowly opened her eyes. Her voice was quiet but warm and silky. "I know."

Denise looked up from drawing circles in the sand. "Why not?"

Holly paused for a while and looked out to the black sea. "I don't know how to talk about him." She thought for a while. "I don't know whether to say 'Gerry was' or 'Gerry is.' I don't know whether to be sad or happy when I talk about him to other people. It's like if I'm happy when I talk about him, certain people judge and expect me to be crying my eyes out. When I'm upset when talking about him, it makes people feel uncomfortable." She stared out to the black sea sparkling in the background and her voice was quieter when she spoke again. "I can't tease him in conversation like I used to because it feels wrong. I can't talk about things he told me in confidence because I don't want to give his secrets away, because they're his secrets. I just don't quite know how to remember him in conversation. It doesn't mean I don't remember him up here," she tapped the side of her temples.

The three girls sat cross-legged on the soft sand.

"John and I talk about Gerry all the time." Sharon looked at Holly with glittering eyes. "We talk about the times he made us laugh, which was a lot." The girls laughed at the memory. "We even talk about the times we fought. Things we loved about him, things he did that really annoyed us."

Holly raised her eyebrows.

Sharon continued, "Because to us, that's just how Gerry was. He wasn't all nice. We remember all of him, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that."

There was a long silence.

Denise was the first to speak. "I wish my Tom had known Gerry." Her voice trembled a little.

Holly looked at her in surprise.

"Gerry was my friend too," she said, tears pricking in her eyes. "And Tom didn't even know him at all. So I try to tell him things about Gerry all the time just so he knows that not long ago, one of the nicest men on this earth was my friend and I think everyone should have known him." Her lip wobbled and she bit down on it hard. "But I can't believe that someone I now love so much, who knows everything else about me, doesn't know a friend that I loved for ten years."

A tear ran down Holly's cheek and she reached out to hug her friend. "Well then, Denise, we'll just have to keep telling Tom about him, won't we?"

They didn't bother meeting up with their holiday rep the next morning, as they had no intention of going on any tours or taking part in any silly sports tournaments. Instead, they got up early and took part in the sun bed dance, running around trying to throw their towels on the sun beds to reserve their positions for the day.

Unfortunately, they still hadn't managed to get up early enough. ("Don't those bloody Germans ever sleep?"

Sharon had given out.) Finally after Sharon had sneakily thrown a few towels away from some unattended beds, the girls managed to get three beds together.

Just as Holly found herself nodding off she heard piercing screams and a crowd ran by her. For some reason, Gary, one of the holiday reps, thought it would be a really funny idea to dress in drag and be chased around the swimming pool by Victoria. Everyone around the pool cheered them on as the girls rolled their eyes.

Eventually Victoria caught Gary and they both managed to fall on top of each other into the swimming pool.

Everyone applauded.

Minutes later as Holly was taking a quiet swim a woman announced into a microphone attached to her head that she was going to begin aqua aerobics in the pool in five minutes. Victoria and Gary, helped by the Barbie Brigade, ran around all the sun beds dragging everyone up and forcing them to take part.

"Ah, would you ever fuck off!" Holly heard Sharon scream at one of the members of the Barbie Brigade as she tried to drag her into the pool. Holly was soon forced out of the pool by the approaching herd of hippopotami who were about to dive in for their aqua aerobics session. They sat through an incredibly annoying half hour session of aerobics with the instructor yelling out the movements into the headpiece. When it was finally over they announced a water polo tournament was about to take place, so the girls immediately jumped up and headed over to the beach for some peace and quiet.

"You ever hear from Gerry's parents, Holly?" Sharon asked as she and Holly lounged on their inflatable rafts in the sea.

"Yeah, they send me postcards every few weeks telling me where they are and how they're getting on."

"So they're still on that cruise?"

"Yeah."

"Do you miss them?"

"To be honest, I don't really think they feel like they're part of me anymore. Their son's gone and they have no grandchildren, so I don't think they feel we have any connection anymore."

"That's bullshit, Holly. You were married to their son and that makes you their daughter-in-law. That's a very strong connection."

"Oh, I don't know," she sighed. "I just don't think that's enough for them."

"They're a bit backward, aren't they?"

"Yeah, very. They hated me and Gerry 'living in sin' as they said. Couldn't wait for us to get married. And then they were even worse when we did! They couldn't understand why I wouldn't change my name."

"Yeah, I remember that," Sharon said. "His mum gave me an earful at the wedding. She said it was the woman's duty to change her name as a sign of respect to her husband. Imagine that? The cheek of her!"

Holly laughed.

"Ah well, you're better off without them being around anyway," Sharon assured her.

"Hello girls." Denise floated out to meet them.

"Hey, where have you been?" Holly asked.

"Oh, I was just chatting to some bloke from Miami. Really nice guy."

"Miami? That's where Daniel went on holiday," she said, lightly running her fingers through the clear blue water.

"Hmmm," Sharon replied, "nice guy, Daniel, isn't he?"

"Yeah, he's a really nice guy," Holly agreed. "Very easy to talk to."

"Tom was telling me he's really been through the wars recently," Denise said, turning to lie on her back.

Sharon's ears pricked up at the sound of gossip, "Why's that?"

"Oh, he was engaged to be married to some chick and it turns out she was sleeping with someone else. That's why he moved to Dublin and bought the pub, to get away from her."

"I know, it's awful, isn't it?" Holly said sadly.

"Why, where did he live before?" Sharon asked.

"Galway. He used to run a pub there," Holly explained.

"Oh," Sharon said, surprised, "he doesn't have a Galway accent."

"Well, he grew up in Dublin and joined the army, then he left and moved to Galway where his family owns a pub, then he met Laura, they were together for seven years, were engaged to be married, but she cheated on him so they broke up and he moved back to Dublin and bought Hogan's." Holly caught her breath.

"Don't know much about him, do you?" Denise teased.

"Well, if you and Tom had paid the slightest bit more attention to us the other night in the pub then maybe I wouldn't know so much about him," Holly replied playfully.

Denise sighed loudly. "God, I really miss Tom," she said sadly.

"Did you tell the guy from Miami that?" Sharon laughed.

"No, I was just chatting to him," Denise said defensively. "To be honest, nobody else interests me. It's really weird, it's like I can't even see any other men, and I mean that I don't even notice them. And as we are currently surrounded by hundreds of half-naked men, I think that's saying a lot."

"I think they call it love, Denise." Sharon smiled at her friend.

"Well, whatever it is, I've never felt like this before."

"It's a nice feeling," Holly said more to herself.

They lay in silence for a while, all lost in their own thoughts, allowing the gentle motion of the waves to soothe them.

"Holy shit!" Denise suddenly yelled, causing the other two to jump. "Look how far out we are!"

Holly sat up immediately and looked around. They were out so far from the shore everybody on the beach looked like little ants.

"Oh shit!" panicked Sharon, and as soon as Sharon panicked Holly knew they were in trouble.

"Start swimming, quick!" Denise yelled, and they all lay on their stomachs and started splashing around with all their might. After a few minutes of tirelessly going at it they gave up, out of breath. To their horror they were even farther out than they had been when they started.

It was no use, the tide was moving out too quickly, and the waves were just too strong.