hapter Twenty-One

Lynn showed Jane off to Jim that night as if she were a beloved child brought before a stranger to display her tricks. She sang Jane’s praises until he began to look dazed, then shooed the two of them into the living room so they could patch up whatever differences remained between them.

As Jane took a seat in Annie’s chair, the resemblance between father and son made her ache, and she wanted to move next to him on the couch and fold herself into those sturdy Cal-like arms. Instead, she drew a deep breath and told him how she had met Cal and what she had done.

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“I didn’t write the tabloid article,” she said, when she reached the end of her story, “but nearly every word of it was true.”

She expected his censure.

“I guess Ethan would have a few things to say here about divine providence being responsible for getting you and Cal together,” he said.

He surprised her. “I don’t know about that.”

“You love Cal, don’t you?”

“With all my heart.” She dropped her gaze. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to be an afterthought in his life.”

“I’m sorry he’s giving you such a hard time. I don’t think he can help it. The men in our family are pretty hard-headed.” He looked uncomfortable. “I guess I have a confession of my own.”

“Oh?”

“I called Sherry Vogler this afternoon.”

“You called my doctor?”

“I couldn’t relax about your pregnancy until I made sure everything was all right. She gave you a clean bill of health, but I couldn’t bully her into telling me whether I have a grandson or a granddaughter on the way. She said you’d decided to wait, and I had to wait, too.” He looked sheepish. “I know I was out of line talking to her behind your back, but I don’t want anything to happen to you. Are you angry?”

She thought of Cherry and Jamie and then of her own father, who’d never seemed to care at all. The next thing she knew, she was smiling. “I’m not angry. Thanks.”

He shook his head and grinned. “You’re a nice lady, Janie Bonner. The old bat was right about you, after all.”

“I heard that!” the old bat called from the next room.

Later that night as Jane lay sleepless in her narrow iron bed, she smiled at the memory of Annie’s indignation. But her smile faded as she thought of all she would be losing when she left here: Jim and Lynn and Annie, these mountains that seemed to be more a part of her every day, and Cal. Except how could she lose something she’d never had?

She wanted to close her eyes and cry her heart out, but she punched the pillow instead and pretended it was Cal. Her anger faded, and she lay back to stare at the ceiling. What was she doing here? Was she subconsciously waiting for him to change his mind and realize he loved her? Today had shown her that wasn’t going to happen.

She remembered the humiliating moment this afternoon when he’d shouted out that he would stay married. His offer had cut her to the quick. The words she’d longed to hear had been uttered on the cusp of his anger, and there hadn’t been an ounce of true meaning behind them.

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She made herself face the truth. He might very well come around, but it would be out of duty instead of love because he didn’t feel the same way about her that she felt about him. She had to accept that and start living her life again. It was time for her to leave Heartache Mountain.

The wind had whipped up outside, and the room had grown chilly. Although it was warm under the covers, the cold seemed to have settled into her bones. She curled deeper into the bedclothes and accepted the fact that she had to leave. She’d always be thankful that she’d taken these two weeks for herself, but now she had to stop hiding and resume her life.

Miserable, she finally fell asleep, only to be jolted awake by a crash of thunder and a cold, wet hand settling over her mouth. She sucked in her breath to scream, but the hand clamped down tighter, and a deep, familiar voice whispered in her ear. “Shhh… It’s me.”

Her eyes shot open. A dark shape loomed over her. Wind and rain blew in through the window next to her bed and whipped the curtains against the wall. He eased his hand from her mouth and reached out to close the window just as a boom of thunder shook the house.

Rubber-limbed from the fright he’d given her, she struggled to sit up. “Get out!”

“Lower your voice before Medea shows up with her handmaiden.”

“Don’t you dare say anything bad about either one of them.”

“They’d eat their own children for dinner.”

This was too cruel. Why couldn’t he just leave her alone? “What are you doing here?”

He planted his hands on his hips and scowled down at her. “I came to kidnap you, but it’s wet and cold out there, so I’ll have to do it some other time.”

He lowered himself onto the straight chair that sat at the sewing machine next to her bed. Beads of water glistened in his hair and on his nylon parka. As another flash of lightning lit the room, she saw that he was still just as unshaven and haggard-looking as he’d been this afternoon.

“You planned to kidnap me?”

“You don’t seriously think I’m going to let you stay here much longer with these crazy women, do you?”

“It’s none of your business what I do.”

He ignored that. “I had to talk to you without those vampires listening in. For one thing, you need to stay away from town for the next few days. A couple of reporters have shown up anxious to check out that tabloid article.”

So that was why he’d shown up tonight. Not to bring her a declaration of undying love, but a warning about the press. She struggled to swallow her disappointment.

“They’re a bunch of bloodsuckers,” he growled.

She sat higher in the pillows and met his gaze straight on. “Don’t do anything to Jodie.”

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“Fat chance.”

“I mean it.”

He glared at her, and a flash of lightning picked out the hard glitter of her eyes. “You know damn well she’s the one who sold that story to the tabloid.”

“The damage is done, and there’s nothing more she can do, so what’s the point?” She pulled the quilt to her chin. “It’d be like squashing an ant. She’s pitiful, and I want you to leave her alone.”

“It’s not in my nature to let somebody hit me without hitting them back.”

She stiffened. “I know.”

“All right.” He sighed. “I’ll leave her alone. I guess we don’t have to worry too much about it anyway. Kevin held a press conference this evening, and he says he’s holding another one tomorrow for the next batch of reporters who show up. Believe it or not, he’s pretty much defused the whole thing.”

“Kevin?”

“Your knight in shining armor.” She didn’t miss the bite of sarcasm in his tone. “I walked into the Mountaineer to get a beer and found him holding court with a bunch of reporters. He told them that the story was true.”

“What?”

“But only up to a point. He said the two of us had been dating for months before that fateful night. According to him, the birthday thing was a surprise you’d arranged. Middle-age kinkiness, I believe he called it. I’ve got to say, the kid was pretty convincing. By the time he was done, even I believed that’s the way it happened.”

“I told you he was a sweetie.”

“Oh, yeah? Well, your sweetie also made it clear that the only reason you and I started to date was becausehe’d just dumped you, and you were so upset about it he passed you on to me as a consolation prize.”

“That jerk.”

“My sentiments exactly.”

Despite his words, he didn’t sound all that upset with Kevin. He rose and pushed the chair aside. She stiffened as he sat on the edge of the bed.

“Come on home, sweetheart. You know I’m sorry about what happened before, don’t you?” He closed his hand over her arm, where it lay beneath the covers. “I should have called Brian as soon as my feelings toward you changed, but I guess I wasn’t ready to face what was happening. We can work it out. We just need to be alone for a while to do it.”

He was breaking her heart. “There’s nothing to work out.”

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“There’s the fact that we’re married, and we have a baby coming. Be reasonable, Jane. We just need a little time.”

She hardened herself against the frailty inside her that made her want to agree. She refused to be another weak-willed woman victimized by her emotions. “My home is in Chicago.”

“Don’t say that.” Once again, the edge of anger was back in his voice. “You’ve got a perfectly good home on the other side of this mountain.”

“That place is yours, not mine.”

“That’s not so.”

A rap sounded on the door, startling them both. Cal shot up from the edge of the bed.

“Jane?” Lynn called out. “Jane, I heard something. Are you all right?”

“I’m fine.”

“I heard voices. Do you have a man in there?”

“Yes.”

“Why’d you have to go and tell her that?” Cal hissed.

“Do you want him there?” Lynn asked.

Jane fought the tide of misery rising in her chest. “No.”

There was a long pause. “All right, then. Come in my room. You can sleep with me.”

Jane pushed back the covers.

Cal caught her arm. “Don’t do this, Jane. We need to talk.”

“The time’s past for talking. I’m going back to Chicago tomorrow.”

“You can’t do that! I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I have things to tell you.”

“Go tell them to somebody who cares.” She jerked free and rushed from the room.

Jane was going to bolt, and Cal couldn’t let it happen. Not in a million years. He loved her!

He’d learned from his father that the women got up early, so he arrived at Heartache Mountain right at dawn. He hadn’t slept at all since he’d climbed back out into the rain from Jane’s bedroom window last night. Now that it was too late, he saw the mistake in his strategy.

He should have told her he loved her the minute he came into her room, while he still had his hand over her mouth. Instead, he’d gone on about kidnaping and reporters, jabbering away instead of getting to the heart of the matter, the only part of what he had to say that meant anything. Maybe he’d been ashamed

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that it had taken him so long to figure out what should have been obvious to him for a long time.

The reality of his feelings had hit him like a lightning bolt. Yesterday afternoon he’d been struck by the truth as he’d driven hell-for-leather off the mountain right after he’d made a fool of himself by yelling out that he’d stay married. The expression on her face—the look of absolute contempt—had devastated him. Her good opinion meant more to him than any sportswriter’s. She was everything to him.

Now he understood that loving her wasn’t a new feeling, only his acceptance was new. Looking back, he figured he’d probably fallen in love with her when he’d tackled her in Annie’s backyard that day he’d found out how old she was.

More than anything in his life, he knew he couldn’t let this marriage break up. As much as the idea of ending his career scared him, it didn’t scare him half as much as losing her. That meant he had to get her to listen to him, but first, he had to make certain she stayed put.

The front door of Annie’s house was locked with the new dead bolt he’d installed not two weeks earlier. He figured there wasn’t a chance in hell they’d open it for him, so he kicked it in and made his way to the kitchen.

Jane stood at the sink in her Goofy nightshirt with her hair all rumpled and her mouth open in an oval of surprise. As she took in his appearance, her eyes widened with alarm.

He’d caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror as he’d come through the living room, and he wasn’t surprised by her reaction. With his outlaw’s stubble, red eyes, and trigger-happy temper, he looked like the meanest hombre this side of the Pecos. Which was just fine with him. Let all of them know right from the beginning that he meant business.

Annie sat at the table with an old flannel shirt pulled on over pink satin pj’s. She hadn’t put on her makeup yet, and she looked every one of her eighty years. As he stalked across her kitchen floor, she started to sputter and struggle to her feet. He walked right past her and snatched the shotgun from its resting place in the corner.

“Consider yourselves disarmed, ladies. And nobody leaves here without my permission.”

Taking the shotgun with him, he stalked back out through the front of the house to the porch, where he leaned the antique weapon against the house and slouched down into the old wooden rocker that sat near the front door. He propped his heels on the red-and-white Igloo cooler he’d brought with him. It held a six-pack of beer, a package of bologna, some frozen Milky Ways, and a loaf of Wonder bread, so they could just forget about starving him out. Then he leaned back and closed his eyes. Nobody threatened his family. Not even his own family.

Ethan showed up around eleven o’clock. Cal hadn’t heard much noise from inside: some muted conversation, water running, Annie coughing. At least she wasn’t smoking these days. No way would his mother and Jane let her get away with that.

Ethan stopped on the bottom step. Cal noted with disgust that he’d ironed his T-shirt again.

“What’s going on here, Cal? And why’s your Jeep blocking the road?” He walked up onto the porch. “I thought they wouldn’t let you in the house.”

“They won’t. Hand over your car keys if you plan to go inside.”

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“My car keys?” He eyed the shotgun propped against the house.

“Jane thinks she’s leaving today, but since she can’t get that rattletrap she drives out of here with my car in the way, she’ll try to convince you to drive her. I’m just making sure you don’t get tempted.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you. I hope you know that you look like a Wanted poster.”

“You might not mean to give her your keys, but the Professor’s nearly as smart as God. She’ll figure out something.”

“Don’t you think you’re getting just a little paranoid?”

“I know her. You don’t. Hand ’em over.”

With a great deal of reluctance, Ethan withdrew his car keys and passed them to Cal. “Have you thought about just sending her a couple dozen roses? It works for most men.”

Cal gave a snort of disgust, got up from the rocker, and walked over to open the broken door. He stuck his head inside just long enough to call out, “Hey, Professor. The Reverend’s come to visit. The same one who saw you naked as a jaybird.”

Pulling back, he held the door open for Ethan to enter, then resumed his seat in the rocker. As he extracted a frozen Milky Way from the cooler, he decided his lack of principles were a match for her brains any day.

Kevin showed up an hour later. Cal knew he should thank him for the press conferences, but old habits died hard. He scowled at him instead.

“What the hell’s going on, Bomber? Why are there two cars blocking the road?”

He was getting more than a little tired of explaining himself. “You don’t go inside unless you hand over your keys.”

Unlike Ethan, the kid didn’t give him any argument. He shrugged, pitched them over, and stuck his head in the front door. “Don’t shoot, ladies. It’s the good guy.”

With a snort, Cal crossed his arms over his chest, tucked his chin, and shut his eyes. Sooner or later she was going to have to come out and talk to him. All he had to do was wait.

At one o’clock, the old man arrived. Damn people kept coming, but nobody was leaving.

Jim jerked his head toward the road. “It looks like a parking lot.”

Cal held out his hand. “Give me your keys if you want to go inside.”

“Cal, this has to stop.”

“I’m doing my best.”

“Can’t you just tell her you love her?”

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“She won’t give me a chance.”

“I hope you know what you’re doing.” Jim tossed over his keys and went inside.

Cal hoped so, too, and he wasn’t going to admit he had doubts. Especially not to his old man.

Cal’s feelings for Jane were so clear to him now, he couldn’t believe he’d ever been confused. The thought of living his life without her left him with an emptiness nothing would ever fill, not even football. If only he could forget the way he’d thrown her love back at her that day she’d left him. It was the most precious gift he’d ever received, and he’d tossed it away like week-old garbage. Now she was doing the same to him.

Despite her brief flirtation with the dark side to get herself pregnant, she had more integrity than anybody he knew, and he had to put his trust in the belief that, once she loved somebody, it would last forever. Still, when he looked the truth straight on, he knew he deserved what was happening to him because he hadn’t possessed the good sense to value what God had given him. He also knew he’d sit out here for the rest of his life if that’s what it took to get her back.

The afternoon dragged on. The blare of rock music coming from the backyard signaled that an impromptu party had broken out, but still Jane didn’t appear to talk to him. He smelled charcoal and heard Ethan calling out, “Gin!” At one point Kevin ran around the side of the house to catch a Frisbee somebody had thrown. Everybody seemed to be having a great time except him. He was a stranger in his own family, and they were dancing on his grave.

He straightened as he saw two figures moving through the woods on the east side of the house. For a moment he thought Jane had convinced someone to help her sneak away on foot, but just as he got ready to bolt out of the chair, he recognized his father and mother.

They stopped near an old white ash he’d climbed when he was a kid. His father pressed his mother against the trunk. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and the next thing he knew, they were going at it like a couple of teenagers.

His parents’ estrangement was finally over, and he smiled for the first time in days. But his smile faded as he saw the direction his father’s hands were taking and realized he was getting ready to feel up his mother!

With a shudder, he turned the rocker around. There were some things he didn’t want to witness, and that was right at the top of his list.

For the next couple of hours he dozed on and off between brief visits from Kevin and Ethan, neither of whom seemed to have any idea what to talk about. Ethan settled on politics, while Kevin rather predictably picked football. His father was noticeably missing, but he didn’t let himself dwell on what the old man and his mother might be doing. He heard nothing from Jane.

It was close to dusk when his mother appeared. She was badly mussed, and the redness on her neck looked suspiciously like beard burn. A bit of dried leaf clung to her hair, just behind her ear, giving further evidence that she and the old man had been doing something more than collecting wildflowers out in those woods.

She gazed down at him, and her forehead creased with worry. “Are you hungry? Would you like me to

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bring you a plate of food?”

“Don’t do me any favors.” He knew he sounded surly, but he felt as if she had betrayed him.

“I’d invite you inside, but Annie won’t allow it.”

“You mean Jane won’t allow it.”

“You’ve hurt her, Cal. What do you expect her to do?”

“I expect her to come out here so we can talk.”

“So you can yell at her, you mean?”

Yelling was the last thing on his mind, and he started to tell her that only to find himself once again alone on the front porch. For someone who’d set out to protect his parents from his personal life, he’d made an unholy mess of it.

Night settled over the mountain, and failure twisted at his belly. He leaned forward and dropped his head into his hands. She wasn’t going to come out. How had he screwed things up so badly?

The screen door creaked on its hinges, and he looked up to see her. His boots dropped to the floor, and he straightened in the chair.

She had on the same thing she’d worn the day she’d left him: that buttery cotton dress with the big tan buttons down the front. This evening there was no headband in her hair. It fell helter-skelter around her beautiful face and looked just as it did when they’d finished making love.

She slipped her hands into the pockets. “Why are you doing this?”

He wanted to sweep her right off the porch and into the woods where he’d love her until she was the one with beard burn and dry leaves in her hair. “You’re not leaving, Jane. Not without giving us a chance to work this out.”

“We’ve had lots of chances, and we’ve blown every one.”

“You meanI have. I promise you I won’t blow the next one.”

He rose from the rocker and moved toward her. She took an instinctive step back against the railing. He forced himself not to go any closer. He wasn’t the only one who didn’t like being backed into a corner.

“I love you, Jane.”

If he’d expected his announcement to sweep her off her feet, he’d badly miscalculated. Instead of showing pleasure, her big, sad eyes seemed to swallow her face.

“You don’t love me, Cal. Don’t you see? This has turned into another game for you. Last night you finally realized that you were going to lose, but you’re a champion, and losing isn’t acceptable. Champions do whatever it takes to win, even saying things they don’t really mean.”

He stared at her, flabbergasted. She didn’t believe him! How could she think this was just about

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winning? “You’re wrong. That’s not it at all. I mean what I said.”

“Maybe right this second you do, but remember what happened after you saw me naked. The game was over, Cal, and you lost interest. This is the same way. If I agreed to take you back, you’d lose interest.”

“I didn’t lose interest after I saw you naked! Where did you get that crazy idea?” He realized he was yelling, and frustration made him want to yell even louder. Why was it so impossible for him to communicate like a normal person?

He swallowed hard and ignored the film of sweat that was breaking out on his forehead. “I love you, Jane, and once I make up my mind about something, it’s made up for good. We’re alike that way. Call off your watchdogs.”

“They’re not my watchdogs, they’re yours!” Agitation showed in her expression. “I’ve tried to get them to leave, but they won’t do it. They’ve got this idea that you need them.You! Ethan’s told me all the sentimental stories from your childhood, and Kevin has described every touchdown you’ve ever made or even thought about making. As if I care! Your father’s narrowed in on your academic accomplishments, which is the last thing I want to hear about!”

“I’ll bet my mother hasn’t been singing my praises.”

“For a while she concentrated on the good causes you support. Then she began to explain how she used to play hopscotch with you, but she started to cry and had to walk away, so I’m not sure what she was trying to tell me.”

“And Annie? What did she say?”

“That you’re a spawn of Satan, and I’m better off without you.”

“She did not.”

“Close enough.”

“Jane, I love you. I don’t want you to go.”

Her face twisted with pain. “Right now you love the challenge of me, but that’s not enough to build a life on.” She hugged herself and rubbed her arms. “These past few weeks have finally cleared the cobwebs from my brain. I don’t know what I was thinking of to believe we could have a lasting relationship. It can’t always be raging fights and knockdown arguments. You feed on that, but I need someone who’s going to be there for me after the challenge is gone.”

“For all your brains, you don’t understand anything!” God, he was yelling again. He took a deep breath and lowered his voice. “Can’t you just take a chance that I mean exactly what I say?”

“It’s too important to take chances.”

“Listen to me, Jane. This isn’t about fights and challenges. I love you, and I want to stay married for the rest of our lives.”

She shook her head.

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Pain cut through him. He was spilling his guts, but she wasn’t buying any of it. He couldn’t think of a single thing that would convince her.

She spoke softly. “I’m leaving tomorrow, even if I have to use the police to get me out. Good-bye, Cal.” She turned away and walked inside.

He squeezed his eyes shut as despair washed through him. He was weak-kneed and aching, just as if he’d taken a career-ending hit. Except he wasn’t going to give up. Not ever.

As much as the idea of public declarations upset his sense of privacy, he couldn’t think of anything else to do but take his case to the people. Clenching his jaw, he followed her inside.

Chapter Twenty-Two