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Hold The Dream
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Chapter 7
E
dwina had arrived.
Emma was aware that her eldest daughter was sitting downstairs in the library, having a drink and recovering from her journey from Manchester Airport. In the last few minutes, first Hilda then Emily had been up to see her, to pass on this news.
Well, there's no time like the present, Emma murmured as she finished dressing in readiness for her dinner date with Blackie and Shane. Putting off the inevitable is not only foolish, it frays the nerves. There's a time bomb ticking inside Edwina, and I'd better defuse it before the weekend begins.
Nodding to herself, glad she had stopped wavering, Emma fastened a pearl choker around her throat, glanced at herself in the mirror, picked up her evening bag and sable jacket, and hurried out.
She descended the long winding staircase at a slower pace, thinking about the things she would say, how she would handle Edwina. Emma had an aversion to confrontation and conflict, preferred to move in roundabout ways and often with stealth to accomplish her ends. Accommodation and compromise had been, and still were, her strong suits, both in business and personal matters. But now, as she approached the library, she recognized there was only one thing she could do: tackle Edwina head on.
Her quick, light step faltered as she walked through the vast Stone Hall, and dismay flew to the surface as she thought of doing battle. But Anthony's happiness was at stake, and therefore Edwina had to be dealt with before she made serious trouble for him,.for everyone in fact. Emma took a deep breath, then continued across the hall, her step now ringing with new determination, her manner resolute.
The library door was partially open, and Emma paused for a moment before going in, one hand resting on the door jamb as she observed Edwina sitting in the wing chair in front of the fire. Only one lamp had been turned on, and the light in the rest of the room was gloomy. Suddenly a log spurted and flared up the chimney, the lambent flames illuminating the shadowed face, bringing it into sharper focus. Emma blinked, momentarily startled. From this distance her daughter was the spitting image of Adele Fairley... the same silvery blond hair, the delicate yet clearly defined profile, the shoulders hunched in concentration. How often had she seen Adele sitting like that beside the fire in her bedroom at Fairley Hall, staring into the distance, lost in her thoughts. But whereas Adele had not lived to see her thirty-eighth year, Edwina was sixty-three and her beauty had never been as ethereal and as heart stopping as Adele's once was. So Emma knew this image was part illusion; still the resemblance was there, had been there since Edwina's birth, and she had always been more of a Fairley than a Harte in many respects.
Clearing her throat, Emma said, "Good evening, Edwina," and bustled forward with briskness, not wanting her to know she had been watching her from the doorway.
Her daughter started in surprise and swung her head, straightening up in the chair as she did. "Hello, Mother," she replied in a formal voice that rang with coldness.
Emma paid no attention to the tone, accustomed to it by now. It had not changed much over the years. She deposited her jacket and bag on a chair, then proceeded to the fireplace, turning on several lamps as she walked past them. "I see you have
a drink," she began, seating herself in the other wing chair. "Does it need refreshing?"
"Not at the moment, thank you."
"How are you?" Emma asked pleasantly.
"I'm all right, I suppose." Edwina eyed her mother. "There's no need to ask how you are. You're positively blooming."
Emma smiled faintly. Sitting back, she crossed her legs,
and said, "I'm afraid I won't be here for dinner after all. I have to go out. A last minute—"
"Business as usual, I've no doubt," Edwina sniffed scornfully, giving her an unfriendly look.
Emma winced but suppressed her annoyance. Edwina's rudeness and sneering manner were generally inflammatory to Emma, but tonight she was determined to overlook her daughter's unwarranted attitude toward her. You don't catch flies with vinegar, she thought dryly, and so she would continue to be pleasant and diplomatic, no matter what. Studying Edwina's face, she at once noticed the tiredness of the drooping mouth, the weary lines around her silver-gray eyes which swam with sadness. Edwina had lost weight, and she seemed nervous, anxious even; and certainly the Dowager Countess of Dunvale, usually filled with her own importance, was not quite so smug this evening. It was apparent she was besieged by troubles.
Emma felt a stab of pity for her, and this was such an unprecedented feeling and so unexpected that she was a little amazed at herself. Poor Edwina. She is truly miserable and frightened, but she does bring it on herself, I'm afraid, Emma thought. If only I could make her see this, get her to change her ways. Then, becoming aware that she was being looked over as carefully as she was scrutinizing, Emma said, "You're staring at me, Edwina. Is there something wrong with my appearance?"
'The frock, Mother," Edwina replied without a moment's hesitation. "It's a little young for you, isn't it?"
Emma stiffened and wondered if_her charitable feelings had been misplaced. Edwina was intent on being obnoxious. Then she relaxed her muscles and laughed a gay, dismissive laugh, resolved not to let Edwina get her goat. When she spoke, her voice was even. "I like red," she said. "It's lively. What color would you like me to wear? Black? I'm'not dead yet, you know; and while we're on the subject of clothes, why do you insist on wearing those awful lumpy tweeds?" Not waiting for a reply, she added, "You have a lovely figure, Edwina. You should show it off more."
Edwina let this small compliment slide by her. She asked herself why she had ever accepted Jim Fairley's invitation or agreed to stay here at Pennistone Royal. She must be insane to expose herself to her mother in this way.
Emma compressed her lips, her eyes narrowing as they weighed Edwina speculatively. She said with the utmost care, "I'd like to talk to you about Anthony."
This statement jolted Edwina out of her introspection; swinging to face Emma, she exclaimed, "Oh no, Mother! When Emily said you'd be coming down to see me, I suspected as much. However, I refuse to discuss my son with you. You're manipulative and controlling."
"And you, Edwina, are beginning to sound like a broken record," Emma remarked. "I'm tired of hearing that accusa-. tion from you. I'm also fed up with your continual sniping. It's impossible to have a decent conversation with you about anything. You're defensive and hostile."
Strong as these words were, Emma's tone had been mild, and her face was devoid of emotion as she pushed herself up and out of the chair. She went to the William and Mary chest in the corner, poured herself a small-glass of sherry, then resumed her position in front of the fire. She sat holding her drink, a reflective light in her eyes. After a long moment, she said, "I am an old woman. A very old woman, really. Although I realize there will never be total peace in this family of mine, I would like a bit of tranquility for the rest of my life if that's possible. And so I'm prepared to forget a lot of the things you've said and done, Edwina, because I've come to the conclusion it's about time you and I buried the hatchet. I think we should try to be friends."
Edwina gaped at her in astonishment, wondering if she was dreaming. She had hardly expected to hear these words from her mother. She finally managed, "Why me? Why not any of the others? Or are you planning to give the same little speech to them this weekend?"
"I don't believe they've been invited. And if they had, I would hope they'd have enough sense not to come. I don't have much time for any of them."
"And you do for me?" Edwina asked incredulously, mentally thrown off.balance by her mother's conciliatory gesture.
"Let's put it this way, I think you were the least guilty in that ridiculous plot against me last year. I know now that you were coerced to a certain extent. You never were very devious, avaricious, or venal, Edwina. Also I do regret our estrangement over the years. We should have made up long ago, I see that now." Emma genuinely meant this, but she was also motivated by another factor: Anthony. Emma was convinced that • only by winning Edwina over to her side
could she hope to influence her, get her to adopt a more reasonable attitude toward her son. So she said again, "I do think we should give it a try. What do we have to lose? And if we can't be real friends, perhaps we can have an amicable relationship at the very least."
"I don't think so, Mother."
Emma exhaled wearily. "I am saddened for you, Edwina, I really am. You threw away one of the most important things in your life, but—"
"What was that?"
"My love for you."
"Oh come off it. Mother," Edwina said with a sneer, looking down her nose at Emma. "You never loved me."
"Yes, I did."
"I don't believe this conversation!" Edwina exclaimed, shifting in her chair. She took a gulp of her Scotch, then brought the glass down on the Georgian side table with a bang. "You're incredible, Mother. You sit there making these extraordinary statements and expecting me to swallow them whole. That's the joke of the century. I might be stupid, but I'm not that stupid." She leaned forward, staring hard at Emma, her eyes like chips of gray ice. "What about you? My God, it was you who threw me away when I was a baby."
Emma brought herself up in the chair with enormous dignity and her face was formidable, her eyes steely as she said, "/ did not. And don't you ever dare say that to me again. Ever, do you hear? You know that I put you in your Aunt Freda's care because I had to work like a drudge to support you. But we've gone through this enough times in.the past, and you'll think what you want, I suppose. In the meantime I have no intention of being sidetracked from what I have to say to you, just because you have the need to dredge up all your old grudges against me."
Edwina opened her mouth, but Emma shook her head. "No, let me finish," she insisted, her green eyes holding Edwina's sharply. "I don't want you to make the same mistake twice in your life. I don't want you to throw Anthony's love away as you did mine. And you're in grave danger of doing so." She sat back, hoping her words would sink in, would have some effect.
"I have never heard anything quite so ridiculous," Edwina snorted, assuming a haughty expression.
"It's the truth nevertheless."
"What do you know about my relationship with my son!"
"A great deal. But despite his love for you, which is considerable, you are hell-bent on driving a wedge between the two of you. Why only last night he told me how concerned he is about your relationship, and he looked pretty damn worried to me.'
Edwina lifted her head swiftly. "So he is here. When I phoned him at his London club last night, they said he'd already left. I couldn't imagine where he was. I had no idea he was coming to the christening. Is he here?"
This was asked with anxiousness, and Emma saw the eager light flickering in her daughter's eyes. She said,' "No, he's not."
"Where is he staying?"
Emma chose to ignore this question for the moment. She said, "Anthony can't understand why you're so opposed to his divorce. It seems you're making his life miserable, badgering him night and day to reconcile with Min. He is baffled and distressed, Edwina."
"So is poor Min! She's heartbroken, and she can't comprehend him or his behavior. Neither can I. He's upsetting our lives in the most disturbing way, creating havoc. I'm almost as distraught as she is."
"Well, that's understandable. No one likes divorce, nor the pain it involves. However, you must think of Anthony before anyone else. From what he tells me, he's been very unhappy for—"
"Not that unhappy, Mother" Edwina interrupted, her voice snippy and high-pitched with tension. "He and Min do have a lot in common, whatever he might have told you. Naturally, he's disappointed she hasn't had a child. On the other hand, they've only been married six years. She could still get pregnant. Min is perfect for him. And don't look at me like that, Mother, so very superior and knowing. It just so happens that I know my son better than you do. Anthony might have strength of character, as you're so fond of pointing out to me whenever you get the opportunity. Nonetheless he does have certain weaknesses." '
Edwina stopped, uncertain about continuing, then decided her mother might as well know the truth. "Sex, for one thing," she announced flatly, staring Emma down with a show of defiance. "He'll go for a pretty face every time. He got himself into the most awful scrapes with women before he married Min." Edwina shook her head and bit her lip, muttering in a low voice, "I don't know how much Min actually knows, but I'm aware that in the last couple of years Anthony has had several affairs and as usual with the wrong sort of women."
Emma was not unduly surprised by this bit of information, nor was she particularly interested, and she did not rise to the bait. Instead she gave Edwina a curious look and asked, "What exactly do you mean by the wrong sort of women?"
"You know very well what I mean, Mother. Unsuitable females with no background or breeding. A man in Anthony's position, a peer of the realm with enormous responsibilities, should have a wife who comes from the aristocracy, his own class, who understands his way of life."
Stifling her amusement at Edwina's hidebound snobbery, Emma said, "Oh for God's sake, stop talking like a Victorian dowager. -We're living in the twenty-first century—well almost. Your views are outdated, my dear."
"I might have known you'd say something like that," 'Edwina replied in a snooty voice. "I must admit, you constantly surprise me, Mother. For a woman of your immense wealth and power, you are awfully careless about certain things. Background is one of them."
Emma chuckled and sipped her sherry, and her eyes twinkled over the rim of the glass. "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones," she said and.chuckled again.
Edwina's face colored, and then, wrinkling her nose in a gesture of distaste, she said, "I dread to think of who he'll end up with if this divorce ever goes through."
"Oh, it's going through all right," Emma said in her softest tone. "I think you would be wise to accept that. Immediately, It's a fact of life you cannot change."
"We'll see about that. Min has to agree before he can do anything."
"But, my dear Edwina, she has agreed,"
Edwina was shocked, and she stared at her mother through horrified eyes, trying to grasp these words. For a split second she %vas disbelieving, and then with a sinking heart she acknowledged that her mother spoke the truth. Whatever else she was, Emma Harte was not a liar. Furthermore her information was always reliable, deadly accurate. Edwina finally stammered, "But... but..." Her voice let her down, and she was unable to continue. She re'ached for her glass with a shaking hand and then put it back on the table without • drinking from it. Slowly she said, "But Min didn't say anything to me last night when we had dinner. How very strange. We've always been close. Why, she's been like a daughter to me. I wonder why she didn't confide in me. She always has in the past." Edwina's face was a picture of dismay as she pondered Min's extraordinary behavior and her very perplexing reticence.
For the first time, with a sudden flash of insight, Emma understood why her daughter was so frantic. She was obviously on intimate terms with Min, happy in the relationship. Yes, she was comfortable, secure, and safe with her daughter-in-law. Anthony, in upsetting the matrimonial applecart, had put his mother's world in jeopardy, or at least so Edwina believed. She was petrified at the thought of change, of a new woman in her son s life, who might not accept her quite as readily as Min had, who might even alienate her son from her.
Leaning toward Edwina, Emma said with more gentleness than usual, "Perhaps Min was afraid to tell you, afraid of distressing you further. Look here, you mustn't feel threatened by this divorce. It's not going to change your life that much, and I'm sure Anthony won't object if you remain friendly with Min." She attempted a light laugh. "And after all, Anthony is getting a divorce from Min, not from you, Edwina. He would never do anything to hurt you," she placated.
"He already has. His behavior is unforgivable." Edwina's voice was harsh and unrelenting, and her face flooded with bitterness.
Emma drew back, and the irritation she had been suppressing suddenly rose up in her. Her mouth curved down in a tight line, and her eyes turned cold. "You're a selfish woman, Edwina," she admonished. "You're not thinking of Anthony; you're only concerned with yourself. You claim your son is the center of your life—well, if he is, you have a damn poor way of showing it. He needs your love and support at a difficult time like this, not your animosity." Emma threw her a condemning stare. "I don't understand you. There's far too much resentment and hostility in you, for everyone, not only me. I can't imagine why. You've had a good life, your marriage was happy—at least I presume it was. I know Jeremy adored you, and I always thought you
loved him." Her glance remained fixed on Edwina. "I hope to God you did love him, for your ovn sake. Yet despite all the wonderful things life has given you, you are filled with an all-consuming anger. Please turn away from it, put this bitterness out of your heart once and for all."
Edwina remained engulfed in silence, her expression as obdurate as ever, and Emma went on, "Trust your son, trust his judgment. I certainly do. You're knocking your head against a brick wall fighting this divorce. You can't possibly win. In fact you'll end up the loser. You'll drive Anthony away forever." She searched her daughter's face, seeking a sign of softening on her part, but it was still closed and unyielding.
Sighing to herself, Emma thought: I give up. I'll never get through to her. And then she felt compelled to make one last stab at convincing her to change her views. She cautioned gravely, "You'll end up a lonely old woman. I can't believe you would want that to happen. And if you think I have an axe to grind, remember I have nothing to gain. Very genuinely, Edwina, I simply want to prevent you from making the most terrible mistake."
Although Edwina was unresponsive, sat huddled in the chair, avoiding her mother's penetrating eyes, she had been listening attentively for the last few minutes and digesting Emma's words. They had struck home, Emma's belief to the contrary. Now, in ihe inner recesses of Edwina's mind, something stirred. It was a dim awareness that she had been wrong. Suddenly, discomfort with herself overwhelmed her, and she felt guilty about Anthony. She had been selfish, more selfish than she had realized until this moment. It was true that she loved Min like the daughter she had never had, and she dreaded the thought of losing her. But she dreaded losing her son more. And that had already begun to happen.
Edwina did not have much insight, nor was she a clever woman, but she was not without a certain intelligence, and this now told her that Anthony had turned to his grandmother in desperation, had confided in Emma instead of her. Resentment and jealousy, her worst traits, flared within her at the thought of this betrayal on her son's part. And then, with a wisdom uncommon for her, she put aside these feelings. Anthony had not really been treacherous or disloyal. It was all her fault. She was driving him away from her, as her mother had pointed out. Emma was being sincere in trying to bridge the rift rapidly developing between herself and her son. Emma did want them to remain close—that seemed obvious if she considered her words dispassionately and with fairness. This admission astonished Edwina, and against her volition she experienced a feeling of gratitude to her mother for making this effort on her behalf.
Edwina spoke slowly in a muted voice. "It's been a shock— the divorce, I mean. But you're right, Mother. I must think of Anthony first. Yes, it's his happiness that counts."
For the first time in her life, Edwina found herself turning to Emma for help. Her anger and bitterness now somewhat diffused, she asked softly, "What do you think I should do, Mother? He must be very angry with me."
Believing that her attempts to drill some common sense into Edwina had had no effect whatsoever, Emma was a bit taken aback by this unanticipated reversal. Rapidly regrouping her thoughts, she said, "No, he's not angry. Hurt perhaps, worried even. He loves you very much, you know, and the last thing he wants is a permanent split between you." Emma half smiled. "You asked me what you should do. Why, Edwina, I think you should tell him exactly what you've just told me... that his happiness is the most important thing to you and that he has your blessing, whatever he plans to do with his life."
"I will." Edwina cried. "I must." She gazed at Emma, for once without rancor, and added, 'There's something else." She swallowed, finished in a strangled voice, "Thank you,. Mother. Thank you for trying to help."
Emma nodded and glanced away. Her face was calm, but she was filling with uneasiness. I have to tell her about Sally, she thought. If I avoid revealing his involvement with the girl, holy hell will break loose tomorrow. Everything I've accomplished in the last half hour will be swept away by Edwina's wrath when she sees them together. This way, shell have time to sleep on her rage, perhaps put it behind her. When she's calm, she'll surely recognize she cannot live her son's life for him.
Gathering her strength, Emma said, "I have something further to say to you, Edwina, and I want you to hear me out before you make any comment."
Edwina frowned. "What is it?" she asked nervously, clasping her hands together in her lap. Emma was silent, but her face was readable for a change. It telegraphed trouble to Edwina. Steeling herself for what she somehow knew would be a body blow, she nodded for her mother to proceed.
Emma said, "Anthony is in love with another woman. It's Sally... Sally Harte. Now, Edwina, I—"
"Oh no!" Edwina cried, aghast. Her face had paled, and she gripped the arms of the chair to steady herself.
"I asked you to hear me out. You just said your son's happiness was the only thing that matters. I trust you really meant that. He intends to marry Sally when he is free to do so, and you are—"
Again Edwina interrupted. "And you said you had no axe to grind!"
"I don't," Emma declared. "And if you think I've encouraged them, you're mistaken. I was aware he'd taken her out several times, when he'd been in Yorkshire. I don't deny that. But I hadn't paid much attention. Anyway, it seems they are seriously involved. Also, Anthony came to announce his plans to me, not to ask my permission to marry my great-niece. Furthermore I gather he took the same stance with Randolph, told him he was going to marry his daughter, and without so much as a 'by your leave.' Randolph can be old-fashioned at times, and his nose was considerably out of joint when we spoke late last night. But I soon put him straight."
Moving to the edge of the chair, the fuming Edwina let her furious glance roam over Emma. She examined that old and wrinkled face minutely, looking for signs of duplicity and cunning. But they were absent, and the hooded green eyes were clear, guileless. Then without warning, a vivid picture of Sally Harte flew into Edwina's twisting mind. They had run into each other nine months ago, at the exhibition of Sally's paintings at the Royal Academy. She had sought Edwina out actually and had been charming, very friendly. At the time Edwina had thought that Sally had grown up to become one of the most beautiful women she had ever laid eyes on. A Harte though, through and through, with her grandfather Winston's arresting looks, his carefree blue eyes, his dark windblown hair.
Edwina snuffed out the beautiful yet nevertheless disturbing image of Sally Harte and concentrated her attention on the old woman sitting opposite her, who in turn was observing her acutely and with sternness. Always ready and willing to brand her mother a manipulator, a schemer who contrived to control them and run all of their lives, Edwina decided that in this instance Emma Harte had indeed been an innocent bystander. As much as she wanted to blame her for this... this disaster, she could not. She had the most dreadful conviction that it was her son^ doing and his alone. Anthony would be unable to resist that lovely, laughing, bewitching face, which she had been so struck by herself. It was his pattern, after all... falling for lovely features and a shapely figure. Yes, once again Anthony had managed to get himself involved with the wrong sort of woman
and all because of sex.
With a little shiver, Edwina drew herself up and said in a clipped voice, "Well, Mother, I must admit you've convinced me that you've not been a party to this unfortunate relationship. I give you the benefit of the doubt."
"Thanks a lot," Emma said.
"Nonetheless," Edwina continued purposefully, her face set, "I must voice my disapproval of this match, or I should say mismatch, to my son. Sally is not cut out to be his wife. She is most unsuitable. For one thing, she is dedicated to her career. Her painting will always come first with her. Consequently she most certainly won't fit into his life at Clonloughlin, a life that revolves around the estate, the local gentry, and their country pursuits. He is making a terrible mistake, one he will live to regret for the rest of his 'life. So, therefore, I intend to put a stop to this affair at once."
How could I have ever given birth to such a pig-headed fool? Emma asked herself. She stood up and said, with great firmness, her manner conclusive, "I must leave. Shane will be here any minute. But before I go, I have two statements to make, and I want you to listen most carefully. The first concerns Sally. You cannot point a finger at her, since she is beyond reproach and her reputation is impeccable in every sense. As for her career, well, she can just as easily paint at Clonloughlin as she can here. I might also remind you, silly snob that you are, that she is not only accepted by those ridiculous nitwits in so-called high society, whom you have the desire to kowtow to constantly, but is assiduously courted by them. Thank God she has more sense than you and hasn't fallen for all that worthless, highfalutin claptrap."
"As usual, you're being insulting, Mother," Edwina snapped.
Emma shook her silvered head disbelievingly, her lips pursing. Trust Edwina "to interrupt a serious conversation because her sensibilities were offended. She said with a small,
very cold smile, "Old people believe that age gives them the license to say exactly what they think, without being concerned that they may be giving offense. I don't mince my words these days, Edwina, I speak the truth. And I will continue to do so until the day I die. Anything else is a waste of time. But getting back to Sally, I would like to remind you that she is an artist of some repute. Also, in case you'd forgotten, she is an heiress in her own right, since my brother Winston left his grandchildren a great fortune. Mind you, I'll give you your due; I know money isn't particularly interesting to you or Anthony, for that matter. Still that doesn't change the facts, and you re making yourself look ridiculous by saying she is unsuitable. Poppycock! Sally is ideal for him. And let's not dismiss their feelings for each other. They are in love, Edwina, and that's the most important consideration of all."
"Love? Sex, you mean," Edwina began and then stopped, seeing the look of disapproval in Emma's eyes. "Well, you are correct about one thing, Mother, money doesn't matter to the Dun vale family," Edwina finished, looking as if she had just smelled something rotten.
Emma said with cool authority, "Anthony is his own man, and for that I will be eternally grateful. He will do as he wishes. And if this relationship is a mistake, then it will be his own mistake to make. Not yours, not mine. Anthony is a man of thirty-three, not a snot-nosed boy in short pants. It would behoove you to stop treating him as such."
Abruptly Emma swung away from Edwina and crossed to the desk in front of the window. She stood behind it, regarding her daughter intently. "And so, my dear Edwina, if you do speak to Anthony, I suggest you restrict your conversation to motherly words of love ana concern for his well-being. And I want you to restrain yourself when he mentions Sally, as no doubt he will. I don't believe he will tolerate any criticism of her or his future plans."
A horn hooted outside the window, startling both women. Emma glanced over her shoulder, saw Shane getting out of his bright red Ferrari. Turning back to Edwina, she lifted the address book off the desk and waved it at her. "You will find Randolph's number in here. Anthony is staying at Allington Hall. Take my advice, call your son and make up with him." Emma paused and added with finality, "Before it is too late."
Edwina sat rigidly in the chair, and not one word passed her white and trembling mouth.
Emma gave her only a cursory glance as she passed the chair, picked up the jacket and evening bag, and left the library. Closing the door quietly behind her, she reassured herself she had tried her very best to solve this troublesome family problem and make friends with Edwina at the same time. But she and Edwina did not matter. They would live with their armed truce as they had always done. Only Anthony and Sally were important in the scheme of things.
Emma threw back her shoulders and drew herself to her full height, striking out across the Stone Hall to the front door. And she hoped against hope that Edwina would come to her senses about her son and give him her blessing.
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Hold The Dream
Barbara Taylor Bradford
Hold The Dream - Barbara Taylor Bradford
https://isach.info/story.php?story=hold_the_dream__barbara_taylor_bradford