t was after eight p.m. by the time Kaori got back from the delicatessen

where she worked part-time. Normally, she liked to immediately change out

of her work clothes and into her sweatpants, but today, she waited for

Fuyuki to come home.

He’d sent her a text just after five that afternoon. He’d found a lead on

a job, so he was going for an interview. Kaori’s plan was for the two of

them to go and grab a celebratory drink at the pub if he’d gotten hired. He

can have a beer, his favorite, and I’ll have oolong tea, she thought.

She waited and waited, but Fuyuki didn’t come home. Nine o’clock

came and went, then ten. She tried calling him, but he didn’t pick up. She

sent a text. “I’m worried about you. Get in touch.”

Perhaps the job interview hadn’t turned out well. Something similar

happened once before. Fuyuki left the house after announcing that he’d

found a darts bar in Ikebukuro that was looking for waitstaff and then he

didn’t come back. Worried, she’d gone out to look for him, only to find him

drunk out of his head in their local park. Beside him was a heap of empty

beer cans. When she asked what had happened, he explained that he had

been rejected because he “had a gloomy face.” That had depressed him and

he had bought a load of cheap beer at a convenience store and just started

drinking. Kaori thought he was behaving like an idiot, but she knew how

his mind worked. He didn’t feel up to seeing her; he was furious at his own

fecklessness.

Kaori didn’t know what kind of job Fuyuki had gone for today. If it

involved interacting with other people, things probably hadn’t gone well.

He wasn’t very articulate and he wasn’t very good at getting on with

strangers. When he met someone new, he usually ended up tongue-tied.

Fuyuki often said that he preferred machines to people. In fact, most of

his jobs had been at factories. And a factory job was the kind of job he was

looking for this time too. But the staffing agency never had anything good

for him.

Not being able to find a job is hardly the end of the world, thought

Kaori as she looked at the time on her cell phone. The photo on her lock

screen was of the two of them celebrating Christmas together.

A little after eleven p.m., the screen of her phone lit up with an

incoming call. It was Fuyuki. She picked up immediately. “Hi, Fuyuki?

Where are you?” she asked, the words tumbling out of her.

For a while, there was no response. She knew they hadn’t been cut off

because she could hear what sounded like cars driving by. “Hello? Are you

there?” she said.

“Kaori.” At last, he spoke. “I don’t know what to do. I’ve done

something awful…” His voice was like a groan of pain.

“What? What do you mean?”

“Something terrible’s happened. I don’t know what to do.”

“Hold on a second. What have you done? Talk to me.”

The line cut out before Fuyuki could reply. Kaori hurriedly called him

back. The phone rang, but no one picked up.

She had no idea what was going on. What on earth has happened?

What has Fuyuki gone and done?

She was so anxious and distressed that she kept pressing Redial over

and over. She must have called twenty or thirty times before she finally got

through.

“Hello?” said the man at the other end of the line. The voice wasn’t Fuyuki’s. Startled, Kaori was at a complete loss for words. “Hello? Can you

hear me?” reiterated the voice.

Kaori swallowed. “Uhm … who is that?” she asked. “That’s Fuyuki’s

phone, right?”

The response was quite unexpected. So unexpected that Kaori initially

thought she had misheard. “I’m a policeman,” he said.

“You’re the police?”

“Am I correct in thinking that this phone belongs to a Fuyuki

Yashima? I checked his driver’s license.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

The man had checked Fuyuki’s driver’s license? Why?

“Mr. Yashima has been involved in an automobile accident. He is

currently on his way to the hospital.”

“What?” Her mind went blank. An auto accident? How come? They

had been talking on the phone just a few moments earlier. It was all so

incredible that she struggled to put her question into words.

“Excuse me asking, miss, but who are you? What is your relationship

with Mr. Yashima?”

“We live together. What kind of accident was he in? How badly

injured is he?”

“I’m afraid I can’t give you detailed information. I would like to

confirm your name. On the phone, your name comes up as Kaori. Is Kaori

the correct name?”

“My name is Kaori Nakahara,” she replied.

“All right, Ms. Nakahara, what I’d like you to do is to wait for me to

call you back. I’ll call you later. I’ll be using a different phone, so don’t let

that put you off.” He spoke quickly without giving her the opportunity to

get a word in, then he hung up.

Kaori was stunned. She had no idea what was going on.

The only clue she had was what Fuyuki had said. I’ve done something

awful. Something terrible’s happened, he had said. Had he gone and messed

up his interview again? But what connection could that have to an auto

accident?

Suicide was a possibility. No, that’s crazy, she thought. No one would

get that desperate from a bad job interview. Still, on the phone he had

sounded horribly dejected.

Kaori shook her head. Trying to imagine what might have happened

wasn’t getting her anywhere. Her main concern now had to be Fuyuki’s

well-being. He was in an accident and was being taken to the hospital. What

condition was he in?

Despite not eating anything since getting off work, she wasn’t hungry.

Far from it, she felt nauseous and had stabbing pains in her stomach.

Her cell phone finally rang more than half an hour later. When she

picked up, a different man answered. He too was a policeman.

He gave her the name of a hospital. It was in the Kyobashi area of

Tokyo and specialized in accident and emergency. Fuyuki, who was

unconscious and in critical condition, was being operated on at that very

moment. The policeman asked her if she could come over immediately.

“I’m on my way,” she said and ended the call.

Leaving the apartment, she hailed a cab and climbed in. It was an

unplanned-for expense. It would make things that little bit harder for the

rest of the month. But now wasn’t the time to worry about things like that.

There were a number of police cars parked in front of the hospital. As

Kaori went into the building, a number of men came running up to her. Two

of them were uniformed officers.

When she inquired how Fuyuki was getting on, they told her that he

was still being operated on and that it was uncertain whether or not he

would make it. Kaori almost fainted at the news. The men helped her over

to a chair in the waiting room.

She had a thousand things she wanted to ask, but she couldn’t get a

word in edgewise. Instead, she found herself being bombarded with

questions. The police asked her everything imaginable about Fuyuki. She

was so disoriented, she could barely give coherent answers. The men

eventually left her alone. “Let’s leave it till tomorrow,” she heard the one

who seemed to be in charge say as they left the room.

Sitting in the waiting room, she prayed frantically that Fuyuki would

make it. There were so many things she didn’t understand. She went back

over what the policemen had said. Apparently, the police had wanted to

question Fuyuki. He, however, had run away, dashed out into the road, and

been hit by a truck. She had no idea why he would run away. But none of

that mattered. If she could just ask Fuyuki himself what had happened, then

everything could be sorted out. He was one of the few people she trusted

implicitly. He would never lie to her; she was sure of that.

She sat with her feet up on the chair, hugging her knees as she buried

her head between them. She didn’t want to see anybody and she didn’t want

anybody to talk to her. The only thing she wanted to hear was the news that

Fuyuki was okay.

If she screwed her eyes shut tight, she could imagine that Fuyuki was

sitting there beside her. Any moment now he would put his arms around her

shoulders. That’s how they had made it this far together, by snuggling up

close to one another.

They were both from Fukushima Prefecture. Kaori had been put in an

orphanage after her parents were killed in an accident when she was a baby.

Fuyuki’s mother had been a neglectful parent. She had had him when she

was eighteen, and the father had run off, leaving her an unmarried single

mother. Fuyuki currently had no idea where his mother was or what she was

doing.

After high school, Kaori got a job as a home care worker, while

Fuyuki started working at a small building contractor’s office. The firm

went bust when they were both twenty. Fuyuki tried to find other work, but

couldn’t due to a shortage of jobs.

They could no longer remember which of them had first suggested

moving down to Tokyo. They were both quite set on it. They had always

dreamed of Tokyo. They were convinced that if they made it to the big city,

there would be jobs aplenty, and with better pay too. They also didn’t want

to spend their whole lives living in the sticks.

Around five years ago, the two of them had pooled their modest

savings, moved to Tokyo, rented a small apartment, and started living

together. They were still poor, but they were optimistic and happy. Every

night, they would share their hopes and dreams with one another. Fuyuki’s

dreams were simple—he wanted to find a good job.

But the economy was in a far worse state than they’d imagined. Their

idea that finding work would be easy was quick to crumble. The only

options for Fuyuki were either to work in a factory as an agency worker or

to get day-laboring jobs. Kaori juggled a couple of part-time jobs. Between

them, they just about managed to eke out a living. No matter how hard they

worked, though, life was never easy.

Then something happened to make things even worse. Fuyuki had

been working in a factory, but his contract was abruptly terminated about

six months ago. To top it off, he was sick for quite a while afterward and

couldn’t find a new position. Kaori became the sole breadwinner, and lately,

they hadn’t been able to make rent.

“I’m so sorry, Kaori. I’m just a loser.” Fuyuki had taken to apologizing

like that at every opportunity. He would then go on, “But I won’t give up. I

promise I’ll make you happy. I’ll find a job soon and make things easier for

you.”

You do that. You do your best. Do your best and let me see your

healthy, smiling face again—Kaori thought to herself, clasping her hands

above her head in a gesture of prayer.