:55 PM

Gabriela decides to walk very slowly to the place where she is to pick up the boat. She needs to put her thoughts in order, she needs to calm down. She is at a point where not only her most secret dreams might become reality, but also her worst nightmares.

Her phone rings. Its a text message from her agent.

congratulations. accept whatever they offer. xxx She watches the crowds of people who seem to be wandering aim- lessly up and down the Boulevard. She, on the other hand, has a goal! She isnt just another of the opportunists who come to Cannes and dont know quite where to start. She has a solid CV, some respectable profes- sional baggage, shes never tried to get ahead in life merely by using her physical attributes, and she has real talent! Thats why shes been chosen to meet this famous director, without any help from anyone, without having to dress in a provocative manner, without even having time to rehearse her role. He would, of course, take all these things into consideration.

She stops for a snackshe hasnt eaten anything all dayand as soon as she takes her first sip of coffee, her thoughts seem to come back down to earth.

Why had she been chosen? What exactly would her role in the film be? And what if, when Gibson saw the video of the audition, he decided she wasnt the person he was looking for? Calm down. She has nothing to lose, she tells herself, but another voice insists: This is your one and only chance. Theres no such thing as a one and only chance; life always gives you another chance, but the voice says again: Maybe, but how long before another chance comes along? You know how old you are, dont you? Of course she does. Shes twenty-five, in a world in which actresses, even the most committed, etc. etc. She doesnt need to go over all that again. She pays for the sandwich and the coffee and makes her way over to the quay, this time trying to control her optimism, telling herself not to refer to other people as opportunists, mentally reciting the rules of positive thinking that she can remember, anything to avoid dwelling on that all too imminent meeting.

If you believe in victory, then victory will believe in you.

Risk everything in the name of chance and keep well away from everything that offers you a world of comfort.

Talent is a universal gift, but it takes a lot of courage to use it. Dont be afraid to be the best.

It isnt enough to focus on what great teachers have said, she needs help from the heavens. She starts to pray, as she always does when shes anxious. She feels the need to make a promise and decides that, if she does get the role, she will walk all the way from Cannes to the Vatican. If the film gets made. If its a worldwide success.

No, it would be enough just to get a part in a film with Gibson be- cause that would attract the attention of other directors and producers. Then she will make the promised pilgrimage.

She reaches the appointed place, looks at the sea and again at the message she received from her agent; if her agent already knows about it, that must mean the director is serious. But what did accept what- ever they offer mean? That she should sleep with the director or with the starring actor?

Shes never done that before, but shes prepared to do anything now. Besides, who hasnt dreamed of sleeping with a movie star?

She looks at the sea again. She could have gone back to the apart- ment and changed her clothes, but shes superstitious. If a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt were enough to get her this far, she should at least wait until the end of the day to change her clothes. She loosens her belt and sits in the lotus position and starts to do some yoga breathing. She breathes slowly, and body, heart, and thoughts all settle into place.

She sees the launch approaching. A man jumps out and says: Gabriela Sherry? She nods, and the man asks her to go with him. They get into the launch and set off across a sea crowded with yachts of all types and sizes. The man doesnt say another word, as if he were far away, per- haps dreaming about what might be going on in the cabins of those small boats or how good it would be to own one. Gabriela hesitates: her head is full of questions and doubts, and a sympathetic word can often make a stranger into an ally who might help with valuable tips on how to behave. But she doesnt know who he is. He might have influence with Gibson or be merely a no-account assistant who gets landed with jobs like picking up unknown actresses and taking them to his boss.

Best to say nothing.

Five minutes later, they draw up alongside a huge white boat. The name on the prow is Santiago. A sailor climbs down a ladder and helps her aboard. She passes through the spacious central reception room in which preparations are under way for what looks like a big party later that night. She walks toward the stern of the ship, where there is a small swimming pool, two tables shaded by parasols, and a few sun loungers. Enjoying the afternoon sun are Gibson and the Star!

I wouldnt mind sleeping with either of them, she thinks, smiling to herself. She feels more confident, although her heart is beating faster than usual.

The Star looks her up and down and gives her a friendly, reassur-

ing smile. Gibson gives her a firm handshake, gets up, takes one of the chairs from the nearest table, and tells her to sit down.

Then he phones someone and asks for the number of a hotel room. He repeats it out loud, looking at her.

It was just as she imagineda hotel room. He switches off his phone. When you leave here, go straight to this suite at the Hilton. Thats where Hamid Husseins clothes are on display. Youve been invited to tonights party in Cap dAntibes.

It wasnt at all as she imagined. The part was hers. And she would be going to a party in Cap dAntibes, a party in Cap dAntibes!

He turns to the Star. What do you think? I think we should hear what she has to say. Gibson nods and makes a gesture meaning Tell us a little about yourself. Gabriela starts with the drama course she took and the ad- vertisements shes appeared in. She notices that the two men are no longer listening. They must have heard the same story thousands of times. And yet she cant stop, shes talking faster and faster, feeling that she has nothing more to say and that this chance of a lifetime de- pends on finding just the right word, which she is patently failing to do. She takes a deep breath and tries to appear at ease; she wants to seem witty and so she makes a joke, but shes incapable of departing from the script her agent taught her to follow in such interviews.

After two minutes, Gibson interrupts her.

Thats great, but we know all that from your CV. Why dont you talk about you?

Some inner barrier suddenly crumbles. Instead of panicking, her voice grows calmer and steadier.

Im just one of millions of people in the world who have always dreamed of being on a yacht like this, looking at the sea, and talking about the possibility of working with at least one of you gentlemen. And you both know that. I doubt theres anything else I might say that will change anything very much. Am I single? Yes. But as is the case with all single women, theres a man back home whos madly in love with me and is waiting for me in Chicago right now, hoping that things here will all go horribly wrong.

Both men laugh, and she relaxes a little more.

I want to get as far as I can, although I know Im almost at the limit of whats possible, given that in the world of movies, my age is already against me. I know there are lots of people out there with as much or more talent than me, but I was chosenwhy I dont knowand Ive decided to run with it. This might be my last chance, and perhaps the fact that Im saying this now will decrease my value, but I have no choice. All my life, Ive imagined a moment like this: doing an audi- tion, getting chosen, and being able to work with real professionals. Its finally happened. If it goes no further than this meeting and I return home empty-handed, at least I know I got here because of two quali- ties: integrity and perseverance.

Im my own best friend and my own worst enemy. Before coming here, I was thinking that I didnt deserve it, that I wouldnt be able to meet your expectations, and that you had probably chosen the wrong candidate. At the same time, my heart was telling me that I was being rewarded because I hadnt given up and had fought to the end.

She looks away and suddenly feels an intense desire to cry, but con- trols herself because that might be seen as emotional blackmail. The Stars mellow voice breaks the silence.

There are honest people in the movie world, people who value pro- fessionalism, just as there are in any industry. Thats why Ive got where I am today, and the same with our director here. Ive been through ex- actly what youre going through now. We know how you feel.

Her whole life passes before her eyes. All the years of seeking with- out finding, of knocking on doors that wouldnt open, of asking and never getting an answer and being met with blank indifference, as if she didnt exist. All the nos she had heard when no one even seemed to notice she was alive and at least deserved a response.

I mustnt cry.

She thinks about all the people who have told her over the years that shes chasing an impossible dream and who, if this turned out right, would be sure to say: I always knew you had talent! Her lips start to tremble. Its as if all these thoughts were suddenly flowing out of her heart. Shes glad to have had the guts to show that shes human and frail and that being chosen has made a huge difference to her soul. If Gibson were now to change his mind about her, she could take the launch back to shore with no regrets. At the moment of battle, she had shown real courage.

She depends on other people. Its taken her a long time to learn this lesson, but shes finally accepted that its true. She knows people who are proud of their emotional independence, although the truth is theyre as fragile as she is and weep in private and never ask for help. They be- lieve in the unwritten rule that says, The world is for the strong and Only the fittest survive. If that were true, human beings would never have survived because, as a species, we require care and protection for several years. Her father once told her that we only acquire some abil- ity to survive alone by the age of nine, whereas a giraffe takes a mere five hours and a bee achieves independence in less than five minutes.

What are you thinking? asks the Star.

That I dont need to pretend Im strong, which is an enormous relief. I used to have a lot of problems with relationships because I thought I knew better than anyone else how to get where I wanted. All my boyfriends hated me for this, and I couldnt understand why. Once, though, when I was on tour with a play, I came down with the most terrible flu and couldnt leave my room, even though I was terrified that someone else would take my part. I couldnt eat, I was delirious with fever, and eventually they called a doctor, who ordered me home. I thought I had lost both my job and the respect of my colleagues. But that wasnt the case at all: they showered me with flowers and phone calls. They all wanted to know how I was. Suddenly, I realized that the people I believed to be my rivals, competing for the same place in the spotlight, were really concerned about me. One of the other actresses sent me a card on which shed written the words of a doctor who went abroad to work in some far-off country. He wrote:

Weve all heard about an illness in Central Africa called sleeping sickness. What we should also know is that a similar disease exists that attacks the soul. Its very dangerous because the early stages often go unnoticed. At the first sign of indifference or lack of enthusiasm, take note! The only preventive against this disease is the realization that the soul suffers, suffers greatly, when we force it to live superficially. The soul loves all things beautiful and deep.

Wo r d s . Th e S t a r t h i n k s o f his favorite line from a poem, one that he learned when still at school, and which frightens him more and more as time passes: You would have to give up all else, I alone would expect to be your sole and exclusive standard. Choosing is perhaps the most difficult thing any human being has to do. As the actress tells her story, he sees his own experiences being reflected back at him.

He remembers his first big chance, which he won thanks to his talent as a theater actor. He remembers how his life changed from one minute to the next, and the fame that overtook him so fast that he didnt really have time to adapt and ended up accepting invitations to places he shouldnt have gone to and rejecting meetings with people who would have helped him go much further in his career. Then there was the money he earned, which wasnt actually that much, but which gave him a sense that he could do anything; there were the expensive presents, the forays into an unfamiliar world, the private planes, the five-star restaurants, and the hotel suites that resembled the palatial rooms of kings and queens as imagined by a child. There were the first reviews, full of respect and praise and words that touched his heart and soul; there were the letters that flooded in from around the world and which he used to answer individually, even arranging to meet some of the women who sent him their photos, until he realized that he simply couldnt keep up that pace, and his agent terrified him by warning him that he could easily become the victim of some entrapment. Never- theless, even now he still gets a special pleasure out of meeting the fans who have followed every step of his career, who create Web pages devoted to his work, distribute little magazines describing everything thats going on in his lifethe positive things, that isand defend him against any attacks in the press, when some performance of his doesnt receive the praise it deserves.

And with the passing years, what had once seemed a miracle or the luckiest of chances and which he had always promised himself he would never become enslaved by, has gradually become his sole reason to go on living. Then he looks ahead and feels a twinge of anxiety that it all might end one day. There were always younger actors prepared to accept less money in exchange for more work and more visibility. Hes noticed that people talk only about the great film that propelled him to fame and which everyone knows about, even though hes made another ninety-nine films since that no one really remembers.

The financial conditions are no longer the same either because he made the initial mistake of thinking he would always have work and forced his agent to keep his fee very high. As a result, he got fewer and fewer offers, even though now he charges only half his normal fee to appear in a film. Feelings of despair are beginning to stir in a world which, up until then, had been made up entirely of the hope that he would get ever farther, ever higher, and ever more quickly. He cannot allow himself to lose his value just like that, and so now, whenever a script arrives, regardless of its quality, he has to say that he really loves the part theyre offering him and that he is willing to do it even if theyre unable to offer him his usual fee. The producers pretend to believe him, and his agent pretends that hes managed to pull the wool over their eyes, but he knows that his product needs to keep being seen at fes- tivals like this one, always busy, always polite, always slightly distant, as movie legends should be.

His press officer has suggested that he should be photographed kissing a famous actress so that the resulting photo can appear on the cover of one of the scandal rags. Theyve already been in con- tact with the actress in question, who is also in need of a little extra publicity, so now its simply a matter of choosing the right moment during tonights gala supper. The clinch should appear spontane- ous, although theyll have to be sure theres a photographer nearby, without, of course, seeming to be aware that theyre being watched. Later on, when the photos are published, theyll hit the headlines again, denying any love interest and declaring that the photo was an invasion of privacy; lawyers will start legal proceedings against the magazines, and the press officers of both parties will do their best to keep the affair alive for as long as possible.

Despite his many years of work and despite being internationally famous, his situation is not so very different from that of this young actress.

You would have to give up all else, I alone would expect to be your sole and exclusive standard.

Gibson interrupts the thirty-second silence thathas fallen upon this perfect scene: the yacht, the sun, the iced drinks, the cries of the seagulls, the cooling breeze.

I assume youd like to know about the role youll be playing be- cause the title of the film could change between now and its premiere. Well, youll be playing opposite him.

And he indicates the Star.

That is, youll be playing one of the principal roles. Your next question, logically enough, must be: why me and not some big-name movie star?

Exactly.

Money. For the script Ive been asked to direct, and which will be the first film produced by Hamid Hussein, we have a very limited budget, half of which will go on promotion rather than on the final product. So we need a big name to pull in the crowds and a complete unknown, wholl be cheap, but will get lots of media attention. This isnt anything new. Ever since the movie industry became a force in the world, the studios have always done this in order to keep alive the idea that fame and money are synonymous. I remember, when I was a boy, seeing those great Hollywood mansions and thinking that all actors must earn a fortune.

Well, its a lie. There are maybe ten or perhaps twenty stars world- wide who can honestly say that they do earn a fortune, the rest live on appearances: in a house rented by the studio, wearing clothes and jewelry lent by couturiers and jewelers, driving cars on short-term loan from companies who want their name to be associated with the high life. The studio pays for all that glamour, and the actors earn very little. This isnt the case of our friend here, of course, but it will be with you.

The Star doesnt know if Gibson is being sincere and if he really does include him among the major stars, or if hes just being sarcastic. Not that it matters, just as long as they sign the contract, the producer doesnt change his mind at the last minute, the screenwriters manage to deliver the script on time, they keep strictly to the budget, and an excellent PR campaign is set in motion. Hes seen hundreds of projects come to nothing; thats just a fact of life. However, his last film went almost unnoticed by the public, and he desperately needs a run- away success. And Gibson is in a position to produce just that.

I accept, says the young woman.

Well discuss everything with your agent. Youll sign an exclusive contract with us. For the first film, youll earn five thousand dollars a month for a year, and youll have to attend parties and be promoted by our PR department, go wherever we send you and say what we want you to and not what you think. Is that clear?

Gabriela nods. What could she say? A secretary in Europe could earn five thousand dollars a month, but it was either take it or leave it, and she doesnt want to appear even a tiny bit hesitant. She understands the rules of the game.

So, Gibson says, youll be living like a millionairess and behav- ing like a big star, but always remember: none of that is true. If all goes well, well increase your salary to ten thousand dollars for the next film. Then well talk again because youll probably be thinking: One day, Ill get my revenge. Naturally, your agent has heard our terms and knows what to expect. Or perhaps you didnt realize that.

It doesnt matter, and I have no intention of seeking revenge. Gibson pretends not to have heard. I didnt call you here to talk about your test: it was great, the best Ive seen in a long time. The casting director thought the same. I called you here to make sure you understand, from the start, just what youre getting into. After their first film, when they feel like the world is at their feet, a lot of actresses or actors want to change the rules. But theyve signed contracts and know thats impossible. Then they fall into a kind of black depression, go into auto-destruct mode, that kind of thing. So our policy now is to set out plainly how its going to be. If youre successful, youll have to learn to live with two women: one of them will be adored by people around the world, while the other will be constantly aware that she has no power at all.

So, before you go to the Hilton to collect your clothes for the night, think long and hard about the consequences. When you enter that hotel suite, youll find four copies of a vast contract waiting for you. Before you sign it, the world is yours and you can do what you like with your life, but the moment you sign, youre no longer the mistress of anything. We will control everything from the way you cut your hair to where you eat, even if youre not hungry. Obviously you can use your new-won fame to earn money from advertising, which is why people accept these conditions.

The two men get up. Gibson asks the Star: Do you think youll enjoy acting with her? Shell be great. She showed real feeling in a situation where most people are simply trying to look competent. Oh, and, by the way, dont go thinking this yacht is mine, says Gibson, after calling someone to accompany her to the launch that will return her to shore.

She gets the message.