H SHARON, I JUST HATE him," Holly moaned to her friend on the phone later that night.

"Just ignore him, Holly, he can't help himself, he's an idiot," she replied angrily.

"But that's what annoys me even more. Everyone says he can't help himself or it's not his fault. He's a grown man, Sharon. He's thirty-six years old. He should bloody well know when to keep his mouth shut. He says those things deliberately," she fumed.

"I really don't think he does it deliberately, Holly," she said soothingly. "I genuinely think he called around to wish you a happy birthday . . ."

"Yeah! And what's that about?" Holly ranted. "Since when has he ever called around to my house to give me a birthday present? Never! That's when!"

"Well, thirty is more of a big deal than any other . . ."

"Not in his eyes it's not! He even said so at dinner a few weeks ago. If I recall, his exact words were," she mimicked his voice, "I don't agree with silly celebrations blah-blah-blah, I'm a sap blah-blah-blah. He really is a Dick."

Sharon laughed at her friend sounding like a ten-year-old. "OK, so he's an evil monster of a being who deserves to burn in hell!"

Holly paused. "Well, I wouldn't go that far, Sharon . . ."

Sharon laughed. "Oh, I just can't please you at all, can I?"

Holly smiled weakly. Gerry would know exactly how she was feeling, he would know exactly what to say and he would know exactly what to do. He would give her one of his famous hugs and all her problems would melt away. She grabbed a pillow from her bed and hugged it tight. She couldn't remember the last time she hugged someone, really hugged someone. And the depressing thing was that she couldn't imagine ever embracing anyone the same way again.

"Helloooo? Earth to Holly? You still there or am I talking to myself again?"

"Oh sorry, Sharon, what did you say?"

"I said, have you given any more thought to this karaoke business?"

"Sharon!" Holly yelped. "No more thought is required on that subject!"

"OK, calm down, woman! I was just thinking that we could hire out a karaoke machine and we could set it up in your living room. That way, you'll be doing what he wants minus the embarrassment! What do you think?"

"No, Sharon, it's a great idea but it won't work; he wants me to do it in Club Diva, wherever that is."

"Ah! So sweet! Because you're his Disco Diva?"

"I think that was the general idea," Holly said miserably.

"Ah! That's a lovely idea, although Club Diva? Never heard of it."

"Well, that's that settled then, if no one knows where it is, then I just can't do it, can I?" Holly said, satisfied she had found a way out.

They both said their good-byes and as soon as Holly had hung up, the phone rang again.

"Hi, sweetheart."

"Mum!" Holly said accusingly.

"Oh God, what have I done now?"

"I received a little visit from your evil son today and I'm not very happy."

"Oh, I'm sorry, dear, I tried to call you earlier to tell you he was on his way over but I kept getting that bloody answering machine, do you ever turn your phone on?"

"That is not the point, Mum."

"I know, I'm sorry. Why, what did he do?"

"He opened his mouth. There lies the problem in itself."

"Oh no, and he was so excited about giving you that present."

"Well, I'm not denying that the present was very nice and thoughtful and all of those wonderful things, but he said some of the most insulting things without batting an eyelid!"

"Do you want me to talk to him for you?"

"No, it's OK; we're big boys and girls now. But thanks anyway. So what are you up to?" Holly was anxious to change the subject.

"Ciara and I are watching a Denzel Washington film. Ciara thinks she's going to marry him someday,"

Elizabeth laughed.

"I am, too!" Ciara shouted in the background.

"Well, sorry to burst her little bubble, but he's already married."

"He's married, honey." Elizabeth passed on the message.

"Hollywood marriages. . .," Ciara mumbled in the background.

"Are the two of you on your own?" Holly asked.

"Frank is down the pub and Declan is in college."

"College? But it's ten o'clock at night!" Holly laughed. Declan was probably out somewhere doing something illegal and using college as an excuse. She didn't think her mum would be so gullible to believe that, especially after having four other children.

"Oh, he's a very hard worker when he puts his mind to it, Holly, he's working on some project. I don't know what it is; I don't listen half the time."

"Mmm," Holly replied, not believing a word of it.

"Anyway, my future son-in-law is back on television so I must be off," Elizabeth laughed. "Would you like to come around and join us?"

"Thanks but no, I'm OK here."

"All right, love, but if you change your mind you know where we are. Bye, dear."

Back to her empty, silent house.

Holly woke up the next morning still fully dressed and lying on her bed. She could feel herself slipping into her old habits again. All her positive thoughts of the past few weeks were melting away bit by bit every day. It was so bloody tiring trying to be happy all the time and she just didn't have the energy anymore. Who cared if the house was a mess? Nobody but her was going to see it, and she certainly didn't care one way or the other.

Who cared if she didn't wear makeup or wash for a week? She certainly had no intention of impressing anyone. The only guy she was seeing regularly was the pizza delivery boy, and she had to tip him to make him smile. Who bloody cared? Her phone vibrated beside her, signaling a message. It was from Sharon.

CLUB DIVA NO 36700700

THINK BOUT IT. WUD B FUN.

DO IT 4 GERRY?

Gerry's bloody dead, she felt like texting back. But ever since she had begun opening the envelopes he didn't feel dead to her. It was as though he were just away on holiday and writing her letters, so he wasn't really gone. Well, the very least she could do was ring the club and suss out the situation. That didn't mean she had to go through with it.

She dialed the number and a man answered. She couldn't think of anything to say so she quickly hung up again. Oh, come on, Holly, she told herself, it's really not that difficult, just say a friend is interested in singing.

Holly braced herself and pressed REDIAL.

The same voice answered, "Club Diva."

"Hi, I was wondering if you do karaoke nights there?"

"Yes we do, they are on a. . .," she heard him leafing through some pages, "yeah sorry, they're on a Thursday."

"Thursday?"

"No sorry, sorry, hold on . . ." He leafed through some pages again. "No, they're on a Tuesday night."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, they are definitely on a Tuesday."

"OK, em, well, I was wondering if, em . . ." Holly took a deep breath and began the sentence again. "My friend might be interested in singing and she was wondering what she would have to do?"

There was a long pause on the other end.

"Hello?" Was this person stupid?

"Yeah sorry, I don't actually organize the karaoke nights, so . . ."

"OK." Holly was losing her temper. It had taken a lot to summon up the courage to actually make the call and some underqualified unhelpful little twit wasn't going to ruin it for her. "Well, is there anyone there who might have a clue?"

"Eh, no, there isn't, the club isn't actually open yet, it's very early in the morning still," came the sarcastic response.

"Well, thank you very much, you've been a terrific help," she said, matching his sarcasm.

"Excuse me, if you can just bear with me for a moment, I'll try and find out for you." Holly was put on hold and was forced to listen to "Greensleeves" for the next five minutes.

"Hello? Are you still there?"

"Barely," she said angrily.

"OK, I'm very sorry about the delay but I just made a phone call there. What's your friend's name?"

Holly froze, she hadn't planned on this. Well, maybe she could just give her name and then get "her friend" to call back and cancel if she changed her mind.

"Em, her name is Holly Kennedy."

"OK, well, it's actually a karaoke competition on Tuesday nights. It goes on for a month and every week two people out of ten are chosen till the last week of the month, where the six people sing again in the final."

Holly gulped. She didn't want to do this.

"But unfortunately," he continued, "the names have all been entered a few months in advance, so you can tell your friend Holly that maybe she could try again at Christmas. That's when the next competition is on."

"Oh, OK."

"By the way, the name Holly Kennedy rings a bell. Would that be Declan Kennedy's sister?"

"Eh, yeah, why, do you know her?" said a shocked Holly.

"I wouldn't say I know her, I just met her briefly here the other night with her brother."

Was Declan going around and introducing girls as his sister? The sick and twisted little . . . No, that couldn't be right, what on earth?

"Declan played a gig in Club Diva?"

"No no," he laughed, "he played with his band downstairs in the basement."

Holly quickly tried to digest the information until finally it clicked.

"Is Club Diva in Hogan's?"

He laughed again, "Yeah, it's on the top floor. Maybe I should advertise a bit more!"

"Is that Daniel?" Holly blurted out and then kicked herself for being so stupid.

"Eh, yeah, do I know you?"

"Em, no! No you don't! Holly just mentioned you in conversation, that's all." Then she realized how that sounded. "Very briefly in conversation," she added. "She said you gave her a stool." Holly began hitting her head softly on the wall.

Daniel laughed again. "Oh, OK, well, tell her if she wants to sing in the karaoke at Christmas I can put her name down now for her. You wouldn't believe the amount of people that want to sign up."

"Really," Holly said weakly. She felt like a fool.

"Oh, by the way, who am I speaking to?"

Holly paced her bedroom floor. "Em, Sharon, you're speaking to Sharon."

"OK, Sharon, well, I have your number on caller ID so I'll call you if anyone backs out."

"OK, thanks a lot."

And he hung up.

And Holly leapt into bed, throwing the duvet over her head as she felt her face going purple with embarrassment. She hid under the covers, cursing herself for being such a bimbo. Ignoring the phone ringing, she tried to convince herself she hadn't been a complete idiot. Eventually, after she had persuaded herself she could show her face in public again (it took a long time), she crawled out of bed and hit the button on her answering machine.

"Hi Sharon, I must have just missed you. It's Daniel here from Club Diva." He paused and then, laughing, added, "In Hogan's. Em, I was just looking through the list of names in the book and it seems somebody already entered Holly's name a few months back, in fact it's one of the first entries. Unless it's another Holly Kennedy . . ." He trailed off. "Anyway, call me back when you get a chance so we can sort it out. Thanks."

Holly sat shocked on the edge of her bed, unable to move for the next few hours.