OLLY STOOD IN FRONT OF the full-length mirror and inspected herself. She had carried out Gerry's orders and had purchased a new outfit. What for, she didn't know, but several times every day she had to drag herself away from opening the envelope for May. There were only two days left until she could, and the anticipation left her no room to think of anything else.

She had settled on wearing an all-black outfit to suit her current mood. Black fitted trousers slimmed her legs and were tailored perfectly to sit over her black boots. A black corset that made her look like she had a bigger chest finished the outfit off perfectly. Leo had done a wonderful job on her hair, tying it up and allowing strands to fall in loose waves around her shoulders. Holly ran her fingers through her hair and smiled at the memory of her time at the hairdresser's. She had arrived at the salon with her face flushed and out of breath.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Leo, I got caught on the phone and didn't realize the time."

"Don't worry, love, whenever you make an appointment I have the staff trained to pencil it in for half an hour later. Colin!" he yelled, clicking his fingers in the air. Colin dropped everything and ran.

"God, are you taking horse tranquilizers or something? The length of your hair already, and I just cut it a few weeks ago."

He pumped vigorously on the chair, raising Holly higher. "Anything special tonight?" he asked, attacking the chair.

"The big three-oh," she said, biting her lip.

"What's that, your local bus route?"

"No! I'm the big three-oh!"

"Of course I knew that, love, Colin!" he yelled again, snapping his fingers in the air.

With that, Colin appeared from the staff room behind Holly with a cake in his hand, followed by a row of hairdressers joining Leo in a chorus of "Happy Birthday." Holly was dumbfounded. "Leo!" was all she could say. She battled the tears that were welling in her eyes and failed miserably. By this stage the entire salon had joined in and Holly was just overwhelmed by their show of love. When it was over everyone applauded and normal business resumed.

Holly couldn't speak.

"Christ Almighty, Holly, one week you're in here laughing so hard you practically fall off your chair and the next visit you're crying!"

"Oh, but that was just so special, Leo, thank you," she said, drying her eyes and giving him a huge hug and a kiss.

"Well, I had to get you back after you mortified me," he said, shrugging her off, uncomfortable with the sentimentality.

Holly laughed, remembering Leo's surprise fiftieth birthday party. The theme had been "feathers and lace" as she recalled. Holly had worn a beautiful tight-fitting lace dress and Gerry, who was always game for a laugh, had worn a pink feather boa to match his pink shirt and tie. Leo claimed to have been excruciatingly embarrassed, but everyone knew he was secretly delighted with all the attention. The next day, Leo had rung every guest who had attended the party and left a threatening message on their machine. Holly had been terrified to make an appointment with Leo for weeks after that in case he butchered her. Word had it that business was very slow for Leo that week.

"Well, you enjoyed the stripper that night anyway," Holly teased.

"Enjoyed? I went out with him for a month after that. The bastard."

A slice of cake arrived in front of each customer and everyone turned to thank her.

"Don't know why they're thanking you," Leo muttered under his breath, "I'm the one who bloody bought it."

"Don't worry, Leo, I'll make sure your tip covers the cost."

"Are you mad? Your tip wouldn't cover the cost of my bus fare home."

"Leo, you live next door."

"Exactly!"

Holly pouted her lip and pretended to sulk. Leo laughed. "Thirty years old and you're still acting like a baby.

Where are you off to tonight?"

"Oh, nowhere mad. I just want a low-key, nice quiet night out with the girls."

"That's what I said at my fiftieth. Who's going?"

"Sharon, Ciara, Abbey and Denise, haven't seen her for ages."

"Ciara home?"

"Yeah, her and her pink hair."

"Merciful hour! She'll stay away from me if she knows what's good for her. Right missus, you look fab, you'll be the belle of the ball-have fun!"

Holly stopped daydreaming and returned her gaze to her reflection in her bedroom mirror. She didn't feel thirty. But then again, what was being thirty supposed to feel like? When she was younger, thirty seemed so far away, she thought that a woman of that age would be so wise and knowledgeable, so settled in her life with a husband and children and a career. She had none of those things. She still felt as clueless as she had felt when she was twenty, only with a few more gray hairs and crow's-feet around her eyes. She sat down on the edge of the bed and continued to stare at herself. There was nothing about being thirty worth celebrating.

The doorbell rang and Holly could hear the excited chatter and giggles of the girls outside. She tried to perk herself up, took a deep breath and plastered a smile on her face.

"Happy Birthday!" they all yelled in unison.

She stared back at their happy faces and was immediately cheered up by their enthusiasm. She ushered them into the living room and waved hello to the camera being held by Declan.

"No, Holly, you're supposed to ignore him!" hissed Denise, and she dragged Holly by the arm onto the couch, where they all surrounded her and immediately started thrusting presents in her face.

"Open mine first!" squealed Ciara, knocking Sharon out of the way so hard that she toppled off the couch.

Sharon froze in horror, unsure of how to react, then she burst into giggles.

"OK, calm down, everyone," said the voice of reason (Abbey), struggling to help up a hysterical Sharon. "I think we should pop open the bubbly first and then open the pressies."

"OK, but as long as she opens mine first," pouted Ciara.

"Ciara, I promise to open yours first." Holly spoke to her as though she were addressing a child.

Abbey raced into the kitchen and returned with a tray full of champagne flutes. "Anyone for champers, sweetie darlings?"

The flutes were a wedding gift and one of the glasses had Gerry and Holly's names inscribed on it, which Abbey had tactfully removed from the set. "OK, Holly, you can do the honors," Abbey said, handing her the bottle.

Everyone ran for cover and ducked as Holly began to remove the cork. "Hey, I'm not that bad, everyone!"

"Yeah, she's an old pro at this by now," said Sharon, appearing from behind the couch with a cushion on her head.

The girls all cheered as they heard the pop and crawled out from their hiding places. "The sound of heaven,"

Denise said dramatically, holding her hand up to her heart.

"OK, now open my present!" Ciara screamed again.

"Ciara!" they all shouted. "After the toast," added Sharon.

Everyone held up their glasses.

"OK, here's to my bestest friend in the whole world who has had such a difficult year, but all throughout, she's been the bravest and the strongest person I've ever met. She's an inspiration to us all. Here's to her finding happiness for the next thirty years of her life! To Holly!"

"To Holly," they all chorused. Everyone's eyes were sparkling with tears as they took a sip of their drink, except of course for Ciara, who had knocked back her glass of champagne and was scrambling to give her present to Holly first.

"OK, first you have to wear this tiara because you are our princess for the night, and second here's my present from me to you!"

The girls helped Holly put on the sparkling tiara that luckily went perfectly with her black glittery corset, and at that moment, surrounded by her friends, she felt like a princess.

Holly carefully removed the tape from the neatly wrapped parcel.

"Oh, just rip it open!" said Abbey to everyone's surprise.

Holly looked at the box inside, confused. "What is it?"

"Read it!" Ciara said excitedly.

Holly began to read aloud from the box, "It's a battery-operated . . . oh my God! Ciara! You naughty girl!"

Holly and the girls laughed hysterically.

"Well, I'll definitely need this," Holly laughed, holding the box up to the camera.

Declan looked like he was about to throw up.

"Do you like it?" Ciara asked, searching for approval. "I wanted to give it to you at dinner that time but I didn't think it would be appropriate . . ."

"Gosh! Well, I'm glad you saved it till now!" Holly laughed, giving her sister a hug.

"OK, me next," Abbey said, putting her parcel on Holly's lap. "It's from me and Jack, so don't expect anything like Ciara's!"

"Well, I would worry if Jack gave me something like that," she said, opening Abbey's present. "Oh, Abbey, it's beautiful!" Holly said, holding up the sterling silver–covered photo album.

"For your new memories," Abbey said softly.

"Oh, it's perfect," she said, wrapping her arms around Abbey and squeezing her. "Thank you."

"OK, well, mine is less sentimental, but as a fellow female I'm sure you will appreciate it," said Denise, handing her an envelope.

"Oh brilliant! I've always wanted to go here," Holly exclaimed as she opened it. "A weekend of pampering in Haven's health and beauty clinic!"

"God, you sound like you're on Blind Date," teased Sharon.

"So let us know when you want to make an appointment, it's valid for a year, and the rest of us can book the same time. Make a holiday out of it!"

"Oh, that's a great idea, Denise, thank you!"

"OK, last but not least!" Holly winked at Sharon. Sharon fidgeted with her hands nervously while she watched Holly's face.

It was a large silver photo frame with a photograph of Sharon, Denise and Holly at the Christmas Ball two years ago. "Oh, I'm wearing my 'spensive white dress!" sobbed Holly playfully.

"Before it was ruined," pointed out Sharon.

"God, I don't even remember that being taken!"

"I don't even remember being there," mumbled Denise.

Holly continued to stare at the photo sadly while she walked over to the fireplace.

That had been the last ball that she and Gerry had been to, as he had been too ill to attend last year's.

"Well, this will take pride of place," Holly announced, walking over to the mantelpiece and placing it beside her wedding photo.

"OK, girls, let's get some serious drinking done!" screamed Ciara, and everyone dived to safety, as another bottle of champagne was popped open.

Two bottles of champagne and several bottles of red wine later, the girls stumbled out of the house and piled into a taxi. Through the giggling and shouting someone managed to explain to the taxi driver where they were going. Holly insisted on sitting in the passenger seat of the taxicab and having a heart-to-heart with John the driver, who probably wanted to kill her by the time they reached town.

"Bye John!" they all shouted to their new best friend before falling out onto the curb in Dublin city, where they watched him drive off at a high speed. They had decided (while drinking their third bottle of wine) to chance their luck in Dublin's most stylish club, Boudoir. The club was reserved for the rich and famous only, and it was a well-known fact that if you weren't rich and famous, you then had to have a member's card to be granted access. Denise walked up to the door coolly waving her video store membership card in the bouncers' faces. Believe it or not, they stopped her.

The only famous faces they saw overtaking them to get into the club, as they fought with the bouncers to get in, were a few newsreaders from the national TV station who Denise smiled at, and she hilariously kept repeating "good evening" very seriously to their faces. Unfortunately after that, Holly remembered no more.

Holly awoke with her head pounding. Her mouth was as dry as Gandhi's sandal and her vision was impaired.

She leaned up on one elbow and tried to open her eyes, which were somehow glued together. She squinted around the room. It was bright, very bright, and the room seemed to be spinning. Something very odd was going on. Holly caught sight of herself in the mirror ahead and startled herself. Had she been in an accident last night? She ran out of energy and collapsed flat on her back again. Suddenly the house alarm began wailing and she lifted her head slightly from the pillow and opened one eye. Oh, take whatever you want, she thought, just as long as you bring me a glass of water before you go. After a while she realized it wasn't the alarm but the phone ringing beside her bed.

"Hello?" she croaked.

"Oh good, I'm not the only one," said a desperately ill voice on the other end.

"Who are you?" croaked Holly again.

"My name is Sharon, I think," came the reply, "although don't ask me who Sharon is because I don't know.

The man beside me in bed seems to think I know him." Holly heard John laughing loudly in the background.

"Sharon, what happened last night? Please enlighten me."

"Alcohol happened last night," said Sharon drowsily, "lots and lots of alcohol."

"Any other information?"

"Nope."

"Know what time is it?"

"Two o'clock."

"Why are you ringing me at this hour of the morning?"

"It's the afternoon, Holly."

"Oh. How did that happen?"

"Gravity or something. I was out that day in school."

"Oh God, I think I'm dying."

"Me too."

"I think I'll just go back to sleep, maybe when I wake up, the ground will have stopped moving."

"Good idea, oh and Holly, welcome to the thirties club."

Holly groaned, "I have not started as I mean to go on. From now on I will be a sensible, mature thirty-year-old woman."

"Yeah, that's what I said too. Good night."

" 'Night." Seconds later Holly was asleep. She awoke at various stages during the day to answer the phone, conversations that all seemed part of her dreams. And she made many trips to the kitchen to rehydrate herself.

Eventually at nine o'clock that night Holly succumbed to her stomach's screaming demands for food. As usual there was nothing in the fridge, so she decided to treat herself to a Chinese take-away. She sat snuggled up on the couch in her pajamas watching the very best of Saturday night TV while stuffing her face. After the trauma of being without Gerry for her birthday the previous day, Holly was surprised to notice that she felt very content with herself. It was the first time since Gerry had died that she was at ease with her own company.

There was a slight chance she could make it without him.

Later that night Jack called her on her mobile. "Hey sis, what are you doing?"

"Watching TV, having Chinese," she said.

"Well, you sound in good form. Unlike my poor girlfriend who's suffering here beside me."

"I'm never going out with you again, Holly," she heard Abbey scream weakly in the background.

"You and your friends perverted her mind," he joked.

"Don't blame me, she was doing just fine all by herself as far as I remember."

"She says she can't remember anything."

"Neither can I. Maybe it's something that happens as soon as you hit thirty, I was never like this before."

"Or maybe it's just an evil plan you all hatched so you wouldn't have to tell us what you got up to."

"I wish it was . . . oh, thanks for the pressie by the way, it's beautiful."

"Glad you like it. It took me ages to find the right one."

"Liar."

He laughed.

"Anyway, I was ringing you to ask if you're going to Declan's gig tomorrow night."

"Where is it?"

"Hogan's pub."

"No way. There is no way I'm ever setting foot in a pub again, especially to listen to some loud rock band with screeching guitars and noisy drums," Holly told him.

"Oh, it's the old 'I'm never drinking again' excuse, is it? Well, don't drink then. Please come, Holly. Declan's really excited about it and no one else will come."

"Ha! So I'm the last resort, am I? Nice to know you think so highly of me."

"No you're not. Declan would love to see you there and we hardly got a chance to talk at dinner, we haven't gone out for ages," he pleaded.

"Well, we're hardly going to have a heart-to-heart with the Orgasmic Fish banging out their tunes," she said sarcastically.

"Well, they're actually called Black Strawberries now, which has a nice sweet ring to it I think," he laughed.

Holly held her head in her hands and groaned, "Oh, please don't make me go, Jack."

"You're going."

"OK, but I'm not staying for the whole thing."

"Well, we can discuss that when we get there. Declan will be chuffed when I tell him, the family never usually goes to these things."

"OK then, about eightish?"

"Perfect."

Holly hung up and sat stuck to the couch for another few hours. She felt so stuffed, she couldn't move. Maybe that Chinese wasn't such a good idea after all.