ONLAN, ANGIE, AND LAUREN SAT AT THE SCARRED, old dining table, playing cards. The music of Angie's youth pounded through the speakers, forcing them to yell at one another. Right now, Madonna was trying to remember how virginity felt.

"You guys are in trouble now," Lauren said, taking the trick with the eight of diamonds. "Read 'em and weep." She slapped down a ten of hearts.

Conlan glanced at Angie. "Can you stop her?"

Angie couldn't help grinning. "Nope."

"Aw, shit," Conlan said.

Lauren's laughter rang above the music. It sounded young and innocent, and at that, Angie felt a catch in her chest.

Lauren shot the moon, then got to her feet and did a little victory dance. It was slow and ponderous, given her stomach, but it made them all laugh.

"Gee. I think I should go to bed now," Lauren said with a wide-eyed innocence.

Conlan laughed. "No way, kiddo. You can't dump us with all those points and then just walk."

Lauren was halfway across the room when the doorbell rang.

Before they'd even wondered who it was, the door opened.

Mama, Mira, and Livvy stood there. Each of them held a big cardboard box. They rushed into the cottage, already talking, and went straight to the kitchen, where they set down the boxes.

Angie didn't have to go over there to know what was in the boxes.

Food, frozen in Tupperware, ready to be heated at a moment's notice and served. No doubt each of them had been cooking double dinners for a week.

New mommies didn't have time to cook.

Angie's chest tightened again. She didn't want to go over there and see the evidence of what was coming. "Come on over," she yelled to her sisters and mother. "We're playing cards."

Mama walked across the room and snapped off the stereo. "That is not music."

Angie smiled. Some things never changed. Mama had started turning off Angie's music in the late seventies. "How about some poker, Mama?"

"I hate to take advantage of you all."

Mira and Livvy laughed. Livvy said to Lauren, "She cheats."

Mama puffed up her narrow chest. "I do not."

Lauren laughed. "I'm sure you would never cheat."

"I'm just very lucky," Mama said, pulling up a chair and sitting down.

Before Mira got to the table, Lauren said, "I'll be right back. I have to go to the bathroom for about the fiftieth time today."

"I know the feeling," Livvy said, rubbing her own big stomach.

"How is she?" Mira asked as soon as Lauren left the room.

"It's getting close, I think" was Angie's answer. A silent look was passed around the table. They were all wondering the same thing. Would Lauren be able to give her baby away?

"We brought food," Mira said.

"Thanks."

Suddenly the bathroom door cracked open. Lauren ran into the living room and stopped dead. She stood there, looking pale and terrified. Water ran down her legs and puddled on the hardwood floor. "It's starting."

"BREATHE," ANGIE SAID, SHOWING HER HOW. HA-HA-HA.

Lauren lurched upright in bed, screaming, "Get it out of me." She grabbed Angie's sleeve. "I don't want to be pregnant anymore. Make it stop. Oh, God, aaah--" She flopped back onto the pillows, panting hard.

Angie wiped Lauren's forehead with a cold, wet rag. "You're doing great, honey. Just great." She could tell when the contraction ended. Lauren looked up at her through tired eyes. She looked impossibly, heartbreakingly young. Angie fed her some ice chips.

"I can't do it," Lauren whispered in a broken voice. "I'm not--aaah." She was stiffening up, arching in pain.

"Breathe, honey. Look at me. Look. I'm right here. We're breathing together." She held Lauren's hand.

Lauren melted back into the pillows. "It hurts." She started to cry. "I need drugs."

"I'll find some." Angie kissed her forehead, then ran from the room. "Where's our damn doctor?" She raced up and down the white corridor until she found Dr. Mullen. He was the doctor on call tonight; their regular obstetrician was on vacation. "There you are. Lauren is in pain. She needs medications. I'm afraid--"

"It's okay, Mrs. Malone. I'll check her." He motioned for a nurse and headed for Lauren's room.

Angie went to the waiting room, which was filled to overflowing. Mira's family, Livvy's family, Uncle Francis, Aunt Giulia, Conlan, and Mama all stood in the tiny area, taking up too much space.

Along the other wall, sitting alone in a mustard-colored plastic chair, was David. He looked dazed and scared.

God. He was so young.

Angie stepped into the room.

The crowd turned to her. Everyone started talking at once.

Angie waited. When they finally fell silent, she said, "I think it's close." Then she crossed the room.

David stood up. He was so pale; he appeared almost translucent against the white walls. His blue eyes held the gloss of unshed tears. He moved toward her in jerky, uncertain steps. "How is she?"

Angie touched his forearm, feeling how cold he was. As she looked into his watery eyes, she knew why Lauren loved this boy so much. He was all heart. Someday he would be a good man. "She's doing well. Would you like to see her now?"

"Is it over?"

"No."

"I can't." He said it in a whisper. She wondered how long this decision would haunt him. It would leave a mark, she knew, but most of this day would. On all of them. "Tell her I'm here, okay? My mom is on her way, too."

"I will."

They stood there, looking at each other, saying nothing. Angie wished there were words for a time like this. She felt Conlan come up beside her. His big hand curled around her shoulder, squeezed. She leaned into him, looked up. "You ready?"

"I am."

They made their way through the family and back toward the birthing room. Conlan stopped at the nurse's station and picked up some scrubs.

The minute they walked into the room, Lauren screamed Angie's name.

"I'm here, honey. I'm here." She ran to the bedside and took Lauren's hand in hers. "Breathe, honey."

"It hurts."

It tore Angie up, that kind of pain in Lauren's voice.

"Is David here?" she asked, starting to cry again.

"He's in the waiting room. Do you want me to get him?"

"No. Aagh!" She arched in pain.

"That's it. Push," Dr. Mullen said. "Come on, Lauren. Push hard."

Lauren sat up. Angie and Conlan held her upright as she grunted and strained and screamed.

"It's a boy," Dr. Mullen said a few minutes later.

Lauren flopped back in bed.

The doctor turned to Conlan. "You're the father, right? Would you like to cut the cord?"

Conlan didn't move.

"Do it," Lauren said tiredly. "It's okay."

He moved woodenly forward, took the scissors, and snipped the cord. The nurse immediately moved in and took the baby.

Angie smiled down at Lauren through a blur of tears. "You did it." She wiped the damp hair from Lauren's pale face.

"Is he okay?"

The doctor answered, "He's perfect."

"You were a goddess," Angie said. "I am so proud of you."

Lauren looked up at Angie through sad, tired eyes. "You'll tell him about me, right? About how I was a good girl who made a mistake. And that I loved him so much I gave him away."

It cut Angie to the quick, that question, hurt so much that for a heartbeat she couldn't answer. When she did speak, her voice was strained. "He'll know you, Lauren. We won't just say good-bye."

The knowing look in Lauren's eyes made Angie feel like the young one. "Yeah. Right. Well, I better get some sleep now. I'm beat." She turned her face into the pillow.

"Do you want to see your baby?" Angie asked gently.

"No," Lauren answered, and there was nothing gentle in her voice at all. "I don't want to see him."

WHEN LAUREN WOKE UP, HER ROOM WAS FILLED WITH flowers. If she hadn't felt so terrible, it would have made her smile. From her bed, she tried to match the arrangements to the person. The African violets were definitely from Livvy and Sal. The azalea plant was from Maria. The pink carnations were probably from Mira, and the lilies and forget-me-nots were from Angie and Conlan. The two dozen red roses were pure David. She wondered what the cards said. What did you say to a girl who'd given birth to a baby she couldn't keep?

A knock at the door saved her from the direction her thoughts had taken.

"Come in."

The door opened. David and his mother stood there; both of them looked pale and uncertain.

As she looked at the boy she loved, all Lauren could think about was how flat her stomach was now, how empty. "Have you seen him?"

David swallowed hard, nodded. "He's so small." He crossed the room and came up beside her bed.

She waited for his kiss. When it came, it was over too quickly. They stared at each other in a heavy silence.

"He has your hair," Mrs. Haynes said, walking to the bed. She stood by her son, touched his arm as if to steady him.

"Please... don't tell me," Lauren said in a throaty voice.

That silence descended again. Lauren looked at David, and just now, she felt as if he were miles away.

We won't make it.

The realization washed over her. It had been there all along like a shadow in the night, awaiting sunlight to give it form and substance.

They were kids, and now that the pregnancy was past, they would drift toward their separate lives. Oh, they'd try to stay together at their different schools, but in the end, it wouldn't work. They would become what the poets wrote about: first love.

Already David was unsure of what to say to her, how to touch her. She was different now, fundamentally changed, and he sensed that.

"The flowers are beautiful," Lauren said, reaching for his hand. When he touched her, she noticed how cold his skin was.

David nodded.

Mrs. Haynes leaned forward. Very gently she eased the hair from Lauren's eyes. "You're a very brave girl. I know why my David loves you so much."

A year ago that would have meant the world to her. She gazed up at Mrs. Haynes, unable to think of anything to say.

"Well," his mother finally said, drawing back. "I'll leave you two alone." She backed away from the bed and left the room. Her heels sounded like gun blasts on the linoleum. The door clicked shut.

David leaned down again and kissed Lauren. This second kiss was the real thing.

"I signed the papers," he said when he drew back.

She nodded.

"It felt weird... just signing him away like that. But we don't have any choice, right?"

"What else could we do?"

He let out a relieved sigh and smiled. "Yeah."

It hurt too much to look at him, so she closed her eyes. "I think I'll go to sleep."

"Oh. Okay. Mom and I are going school shopping anyway. Do you need anything?"

School. She'd forgotten all about that.

"No."

He kissed her cheek then, touched her face. "I'll be back after dinner."

She finally looked at him. "Okay."

"I love you," he said.

It was that, after all of it, that made her cry.

IN ROOM 507, ANGIE SAT IN A THICK WOODEN ROCKING chair, waiting.

Conlan sat in the chair next to her. Every few minutes he looked at his watch, but he didn't say anything.

"She's changed her mind," Angie finally whispered. Someone had to say it.

"We don't know that," he said, but she heard in his voice that he agreed.

The clock ticked again. And again.

The door opened suddenly. A nurse dressed in orange stepped into the room. She was holding a small blue-blanketed bundle. "Mr. and Mrs. Malone?"

"That's us," Conlan said, rising. His voice was strained.

The nurse walked over to Angie and gently placed the tiny blue bundle in her arms, then she left them alone.

He was beautiful: tiny and pink, with his face all scrunched up like a fist. A few strands of red hair clung damply to his pointed head. His little lips looked for something to suck.

Angie felt as if she were falling headlong, tumbling. All the love she'd been trying to rein in came flooding out. She kissed his velvet-soft cheek, smelled the sweetness of his skin. "Oh, Con," she whispered, her eyes stinging. "He looks just like Lauren."

"I don't know what to feel," Conlan said after a minute.

Angie heard the confusion in his voice, the inchoate pain of a loss he feared was coming, and for once, she was the strong one. She looked at him. "Feel me," she said, touching his hand. "I'm steady. I'm here. And no matter what, we're going to be okay."