Sự khác biệt giữa người thành công và những người khác không nằm ở chỗ thiếu sức mạnh, thiếu kiến thức, mà là ở chỗ thiếu ý chí.

Vince Lambardi

 
 
 
 
 
Tác giả: Jane Green
Thể loại: Tiểu Thuyết
Biên tập: Bach Ly Bang
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Language: English
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Cập nhật: 2015-08-24 04:55:22 +0700
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Chapter 20
oe hurries into the Gramercy Tavern, is greeted with a warm smile by the hostess, and weaves his way through the tables until he reaches Alice, Emily, and Harry.
He leans down to give first Alice a kiss, then Emily, finally extending a hand to shake Harry’s warmly as he scrapes the chair back and sits down.
“Harry, good to see you again.”
“Good to be here, Joe.”
“Good journey over?”
“Great actually.”
“Did you fly BA?”
“No. United. The deal was too good to pass up.”
“So how’s life back in rainy old London?”
Emily rolls her eyes. “Raining. And how’s life here in fabulous New York?”
“Fabulous,” Joe echoes with a smile.
“No, really.” Emily pushes. “Do you love it as much as Alice?”
“I’m not sure anyone could love it quite as much as my darling wife.” He smiles affectionately at Alice. “But all in all I’d say it was a pretty good move.” He turns and signals the waiter to come over, ordering a spicy Bloody Mary before turning back to the table.
“So what do you miss most about London?” Emily continues.
Joe stops to think. “I miss being able to jump on a plane and hop over to Europe for the weekend.”
“But,” Alice interjects, “we do have the Caribbean, which isn’t exactly bad.”
“True, but it’s not quite the same thing.”
Emily nods. “I’m afraid I have to agree with Joe there. Sorry, but you can’t compare the Caribbean to Europe. Anyway. Go on.”
“So Europe. And obviously I miss my friends. I miss how familiar everything is in London. I’m very comfortable in New York, but I don’t know the people in the corner shops the way I do in London. I miss the television.”
“You have to be joking!” Emily exclaims as a waiter silently drops a menu into her hands. “America has much better television. What about Frasier? And West Wing? All the best TV’s from here.”
Joe shakes his head. “No. You think that because only the best of the best gets picked up by Britain. You wouldn’t believe the amount of crap that’s on here.”
“Don’t you get hours and hours of those made-for-television dramas starring the Bionic Woman?” Harry grins as Alice starts to laugh.
“I can’t believe you just said that! Twice last week I was flicking and both times I passed films starring Lindsay Wagner!” splutters Alice.
“And was she coping with cancer or a dying husband?”
“I didn’t watch for long enough, but there was definitely some kind of major tragedy going on. Lots of hankies and worried expressions during phone calls. Actually I had the thing on mute as I was on the phone, but more to the point”—Alice peers at Harry—“how come you know so much about dramas starring the Bionic Woman?”
“It’s a little-known secret, but I lived in San Diego for a couple of years when I was a teenager.”
“I didn’t know that!” Emily is shocked.
“How come?” Alice is curious.
Harry shrugs. “My dad’s American, and they wanted to make a go of it over here so they dragged me over when I was thirteen, but it didn’t work out. We went back to England when I was fifteen, and”—he shrugs again—“we’ve been there ever since.”
“I was going to say you don’t have a trace of American accent.”
“Wasn’t here long enough.”
“But,” Alice muses, “it does explain those perfect teeth.”
“Why, thank you.” Harry bares his teeth in a rictus. “I bet you say that to all the boys.”
By ten o’clock Emily looks like a zombie. Harry, having managed to have a nap in the afternoon, is slightly more alert, but the fact that it is three o’clock in the morning English time, combined with the fact that the pair of them are well into their thirties, does not bode well, and Harry has to practically carry Emily out of the restaurant.
“We’re supposed to be going to a party,” Joe whispers miserably to Alice as he heads to the corner to look for a cab.
“Oh, shit. I forgot. But they’re in no state to go anywhere other than bed.”
“Look, we’ll give them the keys and they can let themselves in, and you and I can go.”
“But that’s so rude.”
“Far ruder to have accepted an invitation and then simply not show up.”
“Oh, come on, Joe. You know what these parties are like. There’ll be a million people there, there’s no way they’ll notice whether we’re there or not.”
“That’s not the point,” Joe says sternly. “Alice, I know you forgot but you said we’d go, and I want you to come with me. We barely see one another anymore, you’re always in the bloody country, and the least you can do is spend time with me when you actually manage to make it into Manhattan.”
Alice is not happy. The very last thing she wants to do is go to a superficial party filled with superficial people, but Joe is right. Although she probably didn’t spend that much more time with Joe when they lived in London, over there it was his choice: She didn’t see him because he was always working, or traveling, or canceling her at the eleventh hour.
Now she barely sees him because she is too busy, too wrapped up in her life outside of the city, and this shift of balance in their relationship makes her uncomfortable, guilty.
Which is why she agrees to accompany Joe to the party tonight.
The minute the cab stops outside the Hudson Alice knows she’s not going to have a good time. She can already see the place is jam-packed with beautiful people, the music’s loud, and she’d forgotten how much she hates parties.
Joe walks in ahead of her and immediately runs into people he knows, leaning down to kiss the women, shaking the men’s hands as Alice stands behind him with a false smile, waiting to be introduced.
“Ted, Kerry, this is my wife, Alice.”
“Hi, how are you?” They all shake hands, Kerry with a smile that is just as false as Alice’s. A tall skinny redhead, she looks Alice up and down appraisingly, deciding that yes, Alice will pass.
“We’ve all been waiting to meet you,” Kerry shouts into her ear above the din. “For a while we thought maybe Joe was delusional.”
“What do you mean?” Alice shouts back into her ear.
“I mean he kept saying he was married but no one ever saw you. We decided he must have been making you up.”
Alice smiles. “Oh no.” She extends an arm. “Feel this. Real flesh and blood. So how do you know Joe?”
“Oh, around and about. When you start doing the scene, you find you see the same people over and over. Joe’s just become a familiar face I guess.”
“The scene?”
“You know. The parties. The benefits. Just stuff.”
Alice doesn’t know. And more to the point, she didn’t know Joe was doing “the scene” enough to have become a familiar face. How did he fit it in? Most of the time, when Alice is in the country and they speak late at night, he’s about to go to bed. At least that’s what he says.
Alice sighs as she feels a familiar tightening of her chest, a familiar feeling that all is not so well in her world after all. She looks up at Joe, who does seem to know an awful lot of people here, and her mind races. Has he been lying? Why would he lie? Is he up to no good? Am I being oversensitive?
The thought that wins out is this: So what if he goes out to parties when I’m in the country? I can’t expect him to go to bed every night at nine o’clock. And just because he’s going to parties without me doesn’t mean he’s having an affair, for God’s sake. As Kerry just said, he talks about his wife, so clearly he’s not pretending to be single.
I am being oversensitive, Alice decides as she slips her arm through Joe’s and smiles up at him, vowing not to let her imagination run away with her again.
“Good morning. You’re up early.” Alice leans against the doorjamb to tie the laces of her tennis shoes as Snoop leaps up and down at her heels.
Harry peers over the top of the New York Times. “I’ve been up since five. Bloody jet lag. But more to the point, you’re up early too. What time did you get in last night?”
“Not too late. Just after midnight.”
“And how was the party?”
Alice shrugs. The party had ended up being like a million other parties she’d been to since she got here, all of which she hated.
Packed with skinny people in designer clothes, all repeating the same conversations: gossiping about people they had in common (none of whom Alice knew), or the women trying to befriend her by asking where she got her hair done or whose lipstick she is wearing. The men stand together, rather like the teenage discos Alice remembers from her teenage years, and talk markets, property, and sports.
“The party was fine. Fun. If you like that sort of thing.”
“And do you like that sort of thing?”
“To be honest I would have been much happier in bed.”
“We were definitely much happier in bed.”
“Ooh. Too much information, thank you.”
Harry grins. “That’s not what I meant, thank you. So where are you off to at the crack of dawn in your exercise gear? Working off last night’s supper at the gym, I take it?”
“You have to be joking. Didn’t Emily tell you I’m allergic to gyms? Snoop and I are actually off for our morning walk in Central Park. Want to come too?”
“I’d love to. Hang on, I’ll get my shoes.”
“Bring a jacket too. It’s supposed to be cold today.”
Harry glances out the window. “But look at that sky. It’s a perfect blue and the sun’s shining.”
“Doesn’t mean a thing. The sun’s always shining here, but it’s deceptive. I’m telling you, bring a jacket.”
“Okay, okay. The lady knows best.”
“Good. Now that’s what I like to hear. Take this too.” Alice grabs two woolen hats from the bench just inside the door, flings one to Harry, and pulls the other down tight over her ears.
“I don’t think it will suit me.” Harry raises an eyebrow as Alice makes a face at him.
“I think you’ll find you’ll be thanking me later. Come on. Snoop needs to pee.”
“Jesus,” Harry hisses as they step out the door. “It’s freezing.”
Alice laughs. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Are you always this smug?” Harry frowns.
“Are you always this much of a wimp?”
“Point taken. So how far’s the park? Are we nearly there?”
“God, you are a wimp. Come on, let’s jog. It’ll warm you up.”
“I’m impressed.” They reach the park and Alice slows down to unwind her scarf. “You’re fitter than you look.”
“And you’re just as fit as you look. Anyway, what do you mean I’m fitter than I look? There isn’t an ounce of fat on me.”
“I know. All that gardening and carpentry must keep you fit.”
Harry raises an eyebrow. “You remember?”
“Of course. You think I invited you down to the country just because I like you?” Alice laughs.
“Damn. I knew there was a catch. So will I be building bookshelves? Or planting bulbs?”
Alice turns to him. “Aha! I knew you weren’t as good as I thought, or you’d know that it’s far too late to plant bulbs.”
“Actually I knew that. I was just testing you.” Harry grins and holds out a hand for Snoop’s leash. “So let’s see how your training’s been coming along. Got any treats?”
“Of course!” Alice reaches a gloved hand into her pocket and passes a bag of treats to Harry. “You trained me well.”
“And hopefully you’ve passed it on to the lovely Snoop. Snoop? Sit!” Snoop obediently sits down and looks at Harry expectantly.
“Good boy!” Harry slips a treat into his mouth and pats him on the head.
“Down!” Snoop slides down to the ground, still looking at Harry, as Harry looks impressed and gives him another treat.
“Stay!” Harry turns and walks away for a few yards, turns around, and sees Snoop in exactly the same spot, lying there immobile. “Alice Chambers, I am very, very impressed.”
“Watch this,” Alice grins. “Shake hands, Snoop.” She laughs as Snoop obediently raises his right paw and places it in her hand. “And the other hand.” Snoop puts his paw down and raises the other one, and Alice swears he’s smiling as he does it.
Harry walks back and makes a big fuss of Snoop. “Good boy!” he says, ruffling his fur. “What a good boy! And what a good girl!” He turns to Alice and uses exactly the same tone of voice, proffering a treat to her lips as she grimaces in disgust, then starts laughing, pushing his hand away.
“Good girl, Alice!” Harry continues, laughing as he tries to push the treat in her mouth. “Who’s a good girl!” Snoop starts barking, wanting to join in the game as Alice shrieks, laughing as she tries to get away from the revolting-smelling treat in Harry’s hand.
“Get off!” she shouts, still laughing. “Leave me alone. Yeuch. That’s disgusting!” Harry finally gives the treat to Snoop.
“But you’ve trained him well. Seriously. I am impressed.”
“Of course. What do you think I do in the country all day? Watch television?”
Harry shrugs. “Only, I assumed, the made-for-TV dramas.”
“Ha-ha.”
They carry on walking in silence for a while, down to the water, where they sit on a bench to watch the ducks.
“Aren’t they supposed to fly south for winter?” Harry says after a few minutes.
“I thought so too. I think these are the ones who couldn’t afford the holiday.”
“Hmm.” Harry nods. “Couldn’t they have gone EasyJet?”
“I’m not sure they cover America.”
Harry smiles and turns to Alice. “You know, you’ve changed so much.”
“I have? But you hardly know me. How can you tell?”
“You’re just glowing, Alice. I mean, you’re right, I don’t know you well at all even though I feel like I do because Emily has always talked about you so much. I felt like I knew you before I even met you, but I remember being surprised when we met because even though I liked you, you seemed so, God, I probably shouldn’t say this, but you just didn’t seem happy.”
“Really? How odd. Even at Brianden? We all had such a nice time. Didn’t I seem happy then?”
“It’s not that you were sitting around crying or anything, you just seemed to have this air of sadness, and it’s gone now, Alice. You just look completely different.”
“That’s because it’s first thing in the morning and I’m not wearing any makeup.”
“No, although I’ll admit you do look a bit rough... ow!” Alice elbows him sharply as she makes a warning face. “Okay, okay, I was joking. But seriously, it’s got nothing to do with makeup or what time of day it is, your whole, aargh...” He grimaces and hides his head in his hands.
“What? Are you going to say something horrible? Is that why you’re making a face? Go on. Tell me.”
“This is going to sound so cheesy, but... your whole aura has changed.”
“You’re right. It does sound cheesy.”
“I’ll just shut up then.”
“No. Don’t. It’s nice talking about me.”
Harry shakes his head. “I can’t believe you just said that.”
“But it’s true!” Alice lies. “It’s my favorite subject.”
“Anything else you’d like to add about yourself then?”
“Oh no. It’s much more fun to listen to what other people think about me. Come on. Let’s keep walking.” Alice stands up because, despite the jokes, she’s suddenly not comfortable with this conversation, with the intimacy that has sprung up, and although she has tried to hide her discomfort with humor, it is far easier to stand up and keep walking, to change the subject altogether.
“So,” Alice says briskly. “Let’s go and get some coffee and bagels to take back to the apartment. We’ve got a million things to do today, and then you two have to decide whether you want to go down to the country tonight or tomorrow.”
“Oh, right.” Harry stands up. “I’m pretty easy really. Which would suit you better?”
“Well”—Alice looks up at the sky—“as long as it doesn’t snow we’re fine either way.”
“And what can you tell from looking at the sky? Snow today or no snow?”
“I think no snow today.”
“How can you tell?”
“I can’t. I just like to look as if I know what I’m talking about.”
“Ah.” Harry nods sagely. “In that case I’d have to agree with you. Definitely no snow today.”
Back at the apartment they are met with silence. The New York Times is exactly where they left it, the bedroom doors still firmly shut.
“My God, they’re lazy,” Alice laughs, putting the coffee and bagels down on the table. “Let me just put these out then we’ll wake them up.”
“What can I do?”
“How about plates and knives?”
“Okay.”
“Oh, and cream cheese in the fridge.”
“Got it.”
“Right.” Alice spreads everything out. “Let’s go and drag them out of bed.”
“Darling,” Alice whispers to a naked, sleeping Joe. “Breakfast is on the table.”
Joe turns and smiles sleepily. He’s been awake for a while, so warm and comfortable in bed he let himself doze on and off. Oddly, he found himself thinking about Josie. He hasn’t thought about her in a while, hasn’t spoken to her or had any contact, other than seeing her name at the top of a group e-mail from time to time, but this morning he started to remember the feel of her skin, the smell of her hair.
He was just getting excited when he heard Alice come into the bedroom. Ah, lovely Alice. Just what the doctor ordered. He rolls over to her and slides his hand under her sweatshirt, stroking the underside of her breast and smiling.
“Come on.” She pulls away from him and throws back the covers. “Breakfast is on the table.”
Damn. Alice gets up and disappears out the bedroom. Clearly she is not in the mood, and clearly he doesn’t have time to take care of what is now a major erection. Damn, damn, and damn. Slowly Joe heaves himself out of bed and into the bathroom for a quick, cold shower.
“What a lovely time we’ve had!” Emily sighs as she turns around to see the New York skyline recede behind her. “Isn’t New York wonderful? I could stay here forever.”
Yesterday morning had been spent shopping, then lunch at a diner in the village, theater in the afternoon, and dinner in Tribeca. Emily is exhausted and exhilarated, and sorry that they’re leaving already.
“Well, they certainly loved you,” Harry smiles. “My darling Emily who single-handedly helped the economy back on its feet.”
Alice smiles but Emily is stony-faced. “How can you say that, Harry? Everything I bought was either from the market in Canal Street or cheap little shops in SoHo.”
“It’s not quality, Em, it’s quantity,” Harry says. “I don’t know how we’re going to get everything home.”
“We’ll buy another bag,” Emily grumbles.
“I thought you didn’t have any money?” Harry says.
“Oh, for God’s sake, Harry. Why don’t you just lighten up?” she snaps. “We’re on holiday. You’re supposed to have fun on holiday.”
Alice and Joe sit there uncomfortably. Alice wants to tell Emily to relax, that she is being oversensitive, but she has learned not to get involved in other people’s affairs, and so she stays silent.
Eventually Joe breaks the awkwardness. “I hope you brought your tool kit, Harry. I think Alice has got some jobs for you.”
“Damn, I knew I left something behind.” Harry smacks his forehead.
“Oh, well,” Joe smiles. “You can borrow mine.”
Alice splutters with laughter. “You don’t have a tool kit.”
“I do have some screwdrivers though,” Joe blusters.
“I’m the one with the tool kit, thank you,” Alice says, turning to Harry, “and I’d be happy to lend it to you.”
“And who said there was such a thing as a free holiday?” Harry tuts, looking out of the window.
“I can’t believe we’re here,” Emily squeals as the car turns into the driveway in Highfield. “I mean, I thought Brianden was in the country, but it’s nothing like this. This is like something out of a film. Look at these woods, all these trees.”
“Isn’t it beautiful?” Alice smiles, already more relaxed now she’s home. They roll down the driveway and pull up in front of the house.
“This is it?”
“Er... yes.”
“It’s lovely,” Emily says, and it is, but somehow she’d expected something much grander. She knows Joe is planning on building a far bigger house somewhere else on the land, but she also knows that Alice is quite happy with this, and even though it’s pretty, if you like that old Americana type of style, it’s not at all what she expected.
“The boys will take the bags. Come on, Em, I’ll give you the tour.”
They walk around the ground floor, Alice pointing out what’s been painted, what restored, what work she’s planning to do, and then upstairs to see the three small bedrooms, the guest room chic and welcoming with its blue toile bedspread and matching curtains, small check pillows thrown casually on the bed.
And then downstairs again, out of the French doors and into the garden, strolling down to the pond, where they huddle on a wooden bench that sits under a huge old maple tree.
“Just listen,” Alice smiles.
“What? I can’t hear anything.”
“Exactly! Isn’t it the most peaceful place you’ve ever been?”
Emily smiles. “It is. I’d probably go out of my mind living here, but I can see how you would love it.”
“But you have Brianden. That’s the country.”
“Yes, but it’s the Cotswolds. It’s different. And I’m only there on weekends, and I spend most of my time elbowing past American tourists looking for a bargain in the antique shops. It’s always pretty busy there, but this is so quiet.”
“I know. My favorite place in the world.”
“I can’t believe you’ve done it, you know.” Emily turns, her face now serious.
“Done what?”
“You’ve made your dream come true. You always wanted this. Always wanted to live in the country and have a simple life, and look at you now.”
“You know, I wake up in the mornings and sometimes I feel as if I have to pinch myself,” Alice laughs. “It just feels ridiculous that I’m this happy.”
“Oh, Ali, it’s lovely.” Emily reaches out and puts her arms around Alice, squeezing hard. “I’m so happy for you.”
They hug tightly for a few seconds, then pull apart and stand up. “Come on,” Alice says. “Let’s go and see what those boys are up to.”
Back at the house Harry is building a fire and Joe is sitting at the computer in his study.
“Joe,” Alice hisses under her breath in the doorway. “We have guests. Can you not disappear and be so rude?”
“Relax, Alice. I’m just checking my e-mail. I’ll be out in a second.”
Alice sighs and closes his door again. Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose, she thinks. The more it changes, the more it stays the same.
To Have And To Hold To Have And To Hold - Jane Green To Have And To Hold