Most books, like their authors, are born to die; of only a few books can it be said that death hath no dominion over them; they live, and their influence lives forever.

J. Swartz

 
 
 
 
 
Tác giả: Jane Green
Thể loại: Tiểu Thuyết
Biên tập: Bach Ly Bang
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Language: English
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Cập nhật: 2015-08-24 04:55:22 +0700
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Chapter 19
lice still cannot quite believe how involved she has become in the Newcomers’ Club, and worse, how much she’s enjoying it. It is quite as horribly parochial and hokey as she had suspected, and she loves every minute of it.
December has brought a round of “cookie exchanges”—something she couldn’t quite believe really existed. All the women invited have to bake a dozen cookies, bring them to a women-only soirée together with the recipe, and leave at the end of the evening with an assortment of home-baked cookies and accompanying instructions.
The social life in suburban America seems to revolve around women. At first Alice found it odd that so many women socialized without their husbands, that when she and Joe went to parties the men would stay in one room and the women invariably in the kitchen.
Alice would whisper to Gina that she would refuse to sit in the kitchen with the women on the grounds that she is a postfeminist child of a feminist, but as time has passed Alice has found herself comforted by this new-found female solidarity, and she is increasingly grateful for this companionship that she once would have found so myopic and cloying.
Even those days and nights when Joe is in the city, Alice is never short of invitations, from lunches and dinners to movies and coffees in town. She is just as busy as she used to be in London, and yet everything is so much more relaxed than it ever used to be. Out here she never squeezes her feet into Jimmy Choos or slides one stockinged leg over the other while sitting at smart restaurant tables. Nowadays her wardrobe is almost unrecognizable, and dressing up consists of a pair of black Gap trousers and an Eddie Bauer cable-knit sweater.
Her smart clothes, and of course she still has smart clothes, are in the apartment in the city. Her Chanel and Hermès handbags are lined up in her walk-in closet, her Ralph Lauren cashmere sweaters stacked neatly by color, her Christian Louboutin heels next to her JP Tod flats.
She has learned that jeans will not do for their lifestyle in Manhattan, and, perhaps because she goes into the city so rarely, she has finally learned to treat the clothes and the accompanying lifestyle much like a game, has learned to enjoy dressing up and living the fast lifestyle that she once took for granted.
As Christmas approaches, Alice has spent more time in the city, buying the gifts she knows her friends and family will love. For Joe she has bought a Patek Philippe watch, one he has coveted for some time. Gina and George will be thrilled with their matching Burberry scarves, and for Emily she has a beautiful intricately beaded bag that she found in SoHo and knew Emily would adore. For Harry she has a small but perfectly formed toolbox, containing everything the carpenter on the go could possibly need.
Now she just has to wait for them to get here.
The doorman buzzes the apartment at 5:10 P.M. to let Alice know that Emily and Harry are downstairs. She had wanted to go to JFK and pick them up, but Joe, who was still in the office, said not only would the traffic be terrible, the place itself was a zoo and she’d never manage it on her own.
Instead she sent a car to collect them and told Emily and Harry to look out for a uniformed man with their names on a large square of cardboard.
Minutes after the doorman buzzes, Alice hears a familiar knocking on the apartment door. Dashing to the door, she runs straight into a grinning Emily’s arms.
They hug each other tight for what feels like hours, Harry standing back and watching them with a smile, stepping forward to give Alice a brief hug only when the girls have pulled apart. But with each step into the apartment Alice and Emily grin at each other and hug again.
“Anyone would think you two were long-lost lovers.” Harry laughs, after the fourth hug in as many minutes.
“You’re just jealous,” Emily says. “And anyway, she’s my best friend in the whole wide world and I’ve missed her.” She turns to Alice, who is trying not to let the tears trickle down her cheeks. “Do you know how much I’ve missed you?”
“About a half as much as I’ve missed you?”
“Yeah. Probably about that much. So this is home?”
“I suppose. Harry, come and I’ll show you where you’re both sleeping. You can put your bags down, and then what do you feel like doing?”
“We have to go out!” Emily says. “I can’t believe we’re here, in New York! What should we do? Where’s Joe? When are we going to see the other house? Where can I find the best bargains?”
Alice bursts out laughing. “One question at a time. First, Joe’s at the office and meeting us later for dinner.”
“I see some things never change.” Emily raises an eyebrow, which Alice chooses to ignore.
“We’re going to the Gramercy Tavern for dinner, so what we do first is entirely up to you. I didn’t organize anything because I didn’t know how tired you’d be, but tomorrow I thought we could go shopping in the morning, and then I’ve booked tickets for Hairspray, and then I thought we could either go down to the country tomorrow evening or stay in town and go down the following day.”
“Christmas Eve. Have you got your tree or are we still going to the Christmas tree farm to pick our own?” Emily laughs.
“Actually a man turned up in the driveway last week with a truck full of Christmas trees so I just picked one. I know it’s not quite as romantic.”
“But eminently more practical, I would think. At least tell me you haven’t decorated it yet.”
Alice grins. “Nope. I’ve saved the joys of decorating for the four of us on Christmas Eve. Oh, and we’ve also been invited to Sally and Chris’s for New Year’s Eve.”
“Us as well?”
“Of course you as well. Sally can’t wait to meet you. Unfortunately it won’t be very festive on Christmas Day, it’s just us, but I’m doing a proper lunch.”
“The whole bit? Turkey and trimmings?”
“Of course! Actually they don’t do that here, they do all that stuff at Thanksgiving, but Christmas isn’t Christmas without a turkey.”
“And chipolatas?”
“Of course!”
Harry turns from the window and smiles at Alice. “Emily kept saying you’d turned into a country bumpkin, and here you are looking just as glamorous as the last time I saw you. I was expecting wellies and an anorak.”
“I said she’d turned into a bumpkin,” Emily tuts. “Not Worzel Gummidge, for God’s sake. But meanwhile”—she turns to face Alice—“I have to say I agree with Harry. I thought you said you never wore makeup anymore and you lived in jeans. Look at you, Miss High Heels and Cashmere Sweater.”
“I swear to God I only dress like this in Manhattan. Just you wait.”
Emily walks over to join Harry at the window, and they both look up at the sky. “So what do you think?” Emily turns to Alice. “Is it going to snow? You said last week they were predicting it might snow. Are we going to have a white Christmas?”
“They said it might, although it’s more likely to happen after Christmas Day. All the locals say they dread the snow, and I can’t tell them that I go to bed every night praying for it. Now. On to more practical issues. What do you want to do before dinner?”
Harry suppresses a yawn. “I know I’m being a wimp, but I’m bloody exhausted. Would you mind if I had a sleep?” He’s clearly struggling to keep his eyes open, and Emily is quick to hustle him into the bedroom.
“Good,” she whispers when she comes back out. “I’ve been dying to see you by myself. Shall we go out and get a coffee? I can’t believe I’m in New York with my best friend! Come here and give me another hug!”
“Two grande skim lattes.” Alice squeezes in next to Emily in the corner table in Starbucks.
“Thanks, Ali. So you promise that bag shop will still be open on the way back?”
“I promise. Don’t worry, you’ll still be able to indulge your compulsive shopaholism. Bags.” Alice shakes her head. “I don’t know. You’ve only been in New York a minute and already you’re itching to spend money.”
Emily sighs. “I know it’s dreadful. I’m clearly a horrible person.”
“So tell me everything. Tell me how it’s all worked out with Harry. You seem happy again. I know you told me on the phone, but it’s always so rushed and we never seem to talk properly. So tell me now.”
“He is lovely...” Emily starts. And stops. “I mean really, he’s just the nicest man I’ve met.”
“There’s a but coming, isn’t there?”
Emily grimaces. “There’s always a but. The but is... actually it’s not even him, it’s me.”
“He’s too nice, isn’t he?”
“Oh God, Ali, that’s why I love you and that’s why I need you. You know me better than anyone else. Why, oh why, am I so ridiculous? Why is this a problem? But yes, that’s it. He’s just too bloody nice to me and I’m bored.” With that Emily’s eyes widen, and she claps her hands over her mouth. “Oh, shit. I can’t believe I just said that.”
“I can’t believe you just said that either. Emily, most women I know would kill to find a man like Harry. He’s kind, he’s funny, he loves animals, and he adores you. I’d kill to find a man like Harry, for Christ’s sake.”
“So how are things with Joe then?”
“Uh-uh. You’re not changing the subject that easily. I’m serious, Emily.” Emily folds her arms across her chest like a disgruntled teenager and looks down at her shoes. “He’s wonderful. How can you be bored?”
Emily makes a pained face. “I know this sounds terrible, but I’m sure if he was a bit more of a bastard I could fall in love with him.”
“You’re serious, aren’t you?”
“I know, I know. It’s dreadful. I am a disgusting person, but if he’s ever a bit off with me, or doesn’t call when he says he’s going to, or I think he might be flirting with someone else, then suddenly I’m interested again.”
“Emily, that’s sick. That’s all your stuff. You should go and see someone.”
“Someone like a therapist?” Alice nods as Emily shakes her head with a shrug. “Nah, couldn’t afford it even if I wanted to.”
“But, Em, you can’t possibly pass up what will probably turn out to be the greatest man you’ll ever meet because of your own crappy baggage.”
“I know,” she says sadly. “That’s why I can’t break up with him. Because I do think he’ll probably be the greatest man I’ll ever meet, and because I keep hoping that one day I’m going to wake up and be madly in love with him.”
“You know, Em, marriage isn’t everything we’re led to believe it is.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean we’re told it’s supposed to be this huge great overwhelming passion, and that we’re supposed to look for our soul mate, our other half, but it’s actually pretty damn mundane.”
“Mundane?”
Alice sighs. “Well, yes, mundane. It’s just that after a while all the excitement goes, and what you really want to be left with is someone who is a really good person and who adores you, and who you can grow old with. I know the bastards are exciting, but they don’t make good husband material. Trust me.”
Emily doesn’t ask her how she knows. She doesn’t need to.
“You know what, Em? Sometimes I wish I hadn’t fallen quite so head-over-heels with Joe. Sometimes I think I might have been better off with someone more like Harry.”
“But I remember when you first got married. Okay, it might have faded a bit now, but you were so in love you could hardly see straight. I want to feel like that, I should feel like that with the man I’m going to marry.”
Alice shakes her head. “No! That’s not what it’s about. That heady exciting stuff just blinds you to what’s real. And what’s real is Harry. I think he’s perfect for you. I think he’d make you happy, you could forge a loving and lasting union with him.”
“But I’m bored,” Emily whispers furiously. “I’m bored, Alice. Everything’s so predictable, I never get excited by anything anymore. You can’t tell me that’s a good thing. And if you do I won’t believe you. If you were to tell me that, then I’d have to assume you made a terrible mistake in marrying the love of your life.”
Alice is silent.
“So?” Emily persists. “Did you make a mistake?”
“Of course not,” Alice says quickly. “That’s ridiculous. I love Joe and he’s a wonderful husband, but men like Harry are few and far between. I just don’t want you to break up with him then spend the rest of your life regretting it.”
“Who said anything about breaking up?”
“It sounded like you were on the verge of shoving him out the door.”
“No. That’s the problem. I’ve thought about it so many times, but every time I do something stops me because he is a lovely guy and, as I said”—she shrugs—“I keep hoping I’m going to fall in love with him.”
“Do you think it was wise, to bring him here?”
“Yup. I have a feeling this holiday may well turn out to be make-or-break.”
“Oh, thanks.” Alice rolls her eyes. “And here was I planning a lovely, relaxing Christmas in the country, and now I discover it could be tears all round.”
Emily laughs. “Nope, there won’t be tears. Actually we had a lovely flight, so who knows, America could be just what we need to get our relationship back on track and fall in love. Although...”
“Although what?”
“Although there kind of is...”
“What?”
Emily grimaces. “Well, the thing is I’ve kind of met...”
“Oh, no.” Alice’s voice is stern. “You’ve met someone else?”
Emily seems to shrink in acknowledgment.
“Emily, that’s awful.”
“It’s not as awful as it sounds. I mean, I haven’t done anything. Actually I don’t even know if he’s interested, although I think he might be. But I’ve found myself incredibly attracted to this man, and that’s what’s really set this whole thing off.”
“But, Emily, just because you’re with someone doesn’t mean you stop being attracted to other people. It’s a question of choice.”
“For you maybe, but you’ve been married for over five years. We haven’t even reached a year, so don’t tell me it’s normal to really fancy other men.”
Alice sighs. After all, Emily does have a point. “So who is he?”
“He’s the new features editor at that men’s magazine I’ve been writing for.”
“And?”
“And we had a business lunch about three weeks ago.”
“And that’s it? You’re questioning your relationship because of a business lunch?”
“Well, no. I mean, yes, that’s where we met, and Alice, I swear to God I felt something unlike anything I’ve felt before.”
“Em, I’m sure I’ve heard you say this before. In fact, I’m sure I heard you say this about Harry when you first met.”
“No, Alice. This was different. I know it sounds crazy, but if there is such a thing as a soul mate then I think he might be it. I just had this unbelievable reaction when we looked at one another, and we were in the restaurant for hours, just talking about everything.”
“I suppose you felt as if you’d known each other all your lives?” Alice can’t keep the cynicism out of her voice. She loves Emily but she knows her better than anyone, and knows this isn’t the first time she’s felt like this, and probably won’t be the last. And more to the point, she likes Harry, and she doesn’t want Emily to screw up what could be, what probably is, a wonderful relationship, and certainly the best relationship Alice has ever seen her in.
“Alice!” Emily is hurt.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. So go on. You were talking about everything.”
“Well, yes. And I did feel as if I’d known him for years.” Even as she talks her eyes start to sparkle, her voice becomes more animated. “He is just amazing. And gorgeous, Ali! I swear, he looks exactly like Ben Affleck.”
“But I think Harry’s pretty gorgeous too.”
“No, Colin is gorgeous.”
Alice starts to laugh. “He’s gorgeous and his name’s Colin?”
Emily bristles. “What’s wrong with Colin?”
“Nothing, nothing. I just didn’t expect someone who looks exactly like Ben Affleck to be called something as, well, as ordinary as Colin.”
“Well, he’s gorgeous, and funny, and incredibly bright, and well, just amazing really.”
“So that’s it? You had lunch?”
“Yes. And then a few days later I went to a preview and he was there and we spent the whole night talking.”
“Just talking?”
“God, yes. We were in a restaurant. But, Alice, I swear there was this amazing chemistry between us.”
“But you promise you didn’t do anything?”
“No. I mean, he kissed me good-bye, but no tongues or anything. Just a peck on the lips. But the lips, Alice! Don’t you think that means he likes me?”
“Emily,” Alice says sternly, “I’m not getting into this with you. I’m not playing the game of he said this so that must mean he likes me, or he looked at me that way which must mean he thought about me all week. It’s not fair to Harry.”
“But, Alice, you’re my best friend,” Emily groans. “I haven’t told a soul and I’ve been dying to tell someone.”
“No, Emily. I love you but I don’t want to see you make a terrible mistake. I’ll always support you, whatever you do, but please don’t put me in a position where I have to support infidelity.”
“But I told you, we haven’t done anything.”
“Yet.”
There’s a long silence while Emily digests what Alice has said. “Okay,” she says finally. “I do understand. And you’re right, it’s not fair to Harry, which is what I feel so terrible about. And anyway, I did find out that Colin’s in a five-year relationship...”
“A what?” Alice shouts.
“Relax! Relax! Apparently he’s really unhappy and he’s tried to leave loads of times...”
Alice shakes her head in dismay. “Emily, you’re old enough to know better. Someone’s going to get very hurt, and not just Harry.”
“You’re right, you’re right. The point is that probably nothing will happen and it’s just that it’s made me remember what it’s like to be single again and to have that excitement.”
“And that’s okay,” Alice says. “It’s okay to miss being single, just as long as you don’t do anything about it.”
“I know, you’re right. You’re right. While we’re here I swear to you I’m going to do everything I can to give Harry my best shot, and as long as I’m with Harry I won’t do anything with Colin, okay?”
“Not even lunch?”
“But nothing happened at lunch!” Emily protests. “And he’s my features editor, I have to meet him.”
“You can meet him, but not for lunch. Just meet him in the office where there are other people around. If you decide that Harry’s not going to work out and you and Harry split up then you can do whatever you want, although I have to tell you, a five-year relationship, unhappy or not, doesn’t look good.”
“But apparently his girlfriend is a real bitch.”
“Emily! Joe and I have been married for five years. Imagine, that could be me you’re talking about. Five years is a long time. Marriage or not, it’s a serious commitment, and Harry or no Harry, I would think very carefully before pursuing this.”
“Okay. You’re right. If I promise to stop thinking about him, will you start being nicer to me?”
“Oh, Emily,” Alice laughs despite her exasperation. “You know I love you even though I don’t always understand you.” She looks at her watch. “Come on. Do you still want to go and look at those bags?”
Harry groans and half opens one eye. He has been in a deep, deep sleep, lost in a dream about pulling up endless weeds in his garden that had grown and morphed into a huge country field.
“Come on, lazybones.” Emily is sitting on the edge of the bed, shaking him as she leans over to kiss his cheek. “Time to get up and get ready for dinner.”
“Oh God,” Harry mumbles. “I feel like I’ve been drugged. I think I’m just going to stay here and go to sleep.”
“And leave me as gooseberry? I don’t think so. Come on.” Emily drags the duvet off him as Harry buries his head in the pillow. “Come and have a shower with me?”
Harry smiles. “A shower with you?” He flings his legs over the side of the bed. “Now why didn’t you say that before?”
To Have And To Hold To Have And To Hold - Jane Green To Have And To Hold